We Can’t Have a Crisis, My Schedule is Full
So this is @emilygegendiewelt‘s real late birthday present, featuring characters from a tv show i’m developing. If you wanna see more of this and other projects, I started a blog for all that: @schlichtingandco!
Now was not the time for her stubbornness. It could put them all in danger. She knew that. She knew she was putting them all at risk. Eloise Blue, she told herself, you’re their Euadne, a General of the Western Tribes. You have to be impenetrable, indefatigable, unconquerable.
She felt miserable.
And Calvin, for pity’s sake, was even worse off than she was where workload was concerned. The Bridgers were still more of a shaky alliance than a nation. He was constantly laying out strategies, handling reports from all over the globe. This last week, she’d barely seen him. He went to bed long after she began dreaming; he rose long before the sun. He haunted the house, a ghost of himself almost completely relegated to their study.
She would’ve been more worried about it if she weren’t only there to sleep. Their official dress had been found on the edges of the bed, on the backs of their chairs, in the study, in the bathroom. They were lucky if they ever got a shower, let alone do laundry the normal way, but it didn’t really matter because no one would dare tell them that they stink. There’s a war on, and that means sacrifices. That was probably why it had taken longer than maybe it should have to realize what was happening, and even longer to figure out how she felt about it.
Now all that was left was to talk to him about the situation, to make sure they were both on the same page. Ellie didn’t bother knocking on the study door, instead pushing it open slightly and walking around the desk till she nearly stood over him, leaning back against the edge of the wood. She let her eyes roam, enjoying the fact that he’d once again decided it was too warm to wear a shirt indoors and that neither of them had ever been the kind to be embarrassed about being caught staring. Then she remembered why she was here, practically sitting on his desk waiting for him to finish what he was doing, and she sighed to herself. Cal, noticing the weight that had settled over her, hurriedly scrawled something at the side of one of the reports he was reading and turned the chair to face her.
Gods, he was handsome, even when he looked like Death warmed over. It was unfair, honestly. Her fingers brushed at his hair. It was getting longer. Would he get it cut? Did they have the time?
His eyes crinkled when he smiled. “Hey. Long time, no see.”
“No kidding. Missed you.” She felt a swell in her chest, the one she knew meant she loved him. It was too easy to lose herself in this. Her hand gravitated back to her other arm, grasping at the elbow.
Calvin tried (and failed) to hide a yawn. “Missed you, too, Sunbeam.”
She glowed at the nickname, the electricity made manifest beneath her skin. “Before we talk about what I came to talk about, I should tell you I don’t have the time for a crisis. All booked, you see.”
“You’re telling me.” She could hardly blink; she had to see his reaction. He gave her the once over he used to do when he was looking for bruises she wasn’t showing him, but came up empty. “It’s not a crisis, is it?”
Elle shook her head. “I sure as hell hope not,” she breathed. “I don’t know what to do if it is.”
“Ok, so tell me.” There was a little nervousness in his tone, but they’d work it out. Whatever it was, however enormous, they’d never failed yet. They were too good together.
She took a deep breath. “I’m almost 4 months along.”
“Along?” And then it hit him, and he sat back in the spinning chair, blinking stupidly. “How do you feel about it?”
She laughed. Of course, this is when he’d be overly considerate. “I’m scared. But I’ve wrapped my head around it, and well-”
“You were just here to get my reaction.” She nodded. He smiled. “Worrywart.”
“Well, there’s also the fact that I can’t keep wearing loose clothes forever. I’m leading an army. It’s impractical.”
“I’m not sure showing off is going to help either.”
“Maybe for morale?”
“Make you a bigger target?” he countered.
“Maybe I’d just like to wear pants. When have I ever not been a target, though? Might as well have gotten a bull’s eye tattoo while I was at it.”
His expression was soft when he looked at her now. She wished that they were talking about this in a moment that was all their own. Somewhere, sometime when things weren’t life and death. Where it could just be life, beating its chest and screaming from the rooftops, and they could be vulnerable enough to be excited. This was their child. This was what they wanted.
But they couldn’t forget who they were outside of here. Not right now. “What are we going to do after the baby’s born?”
She shrugged. “Maybe your brother’s family?”
“No way, Elle. They don’t have a clue about what’s going on. Too dangerous.”
“Can’t keep them close, either. At least your brother’s family isn’t in the middle of a real life game of Risk.”
“But I’m not sure they wouldn’t turn on our child if they came into their abilities early. Who knows how long it’ll be until we get to see them again? To teach them they’re normal. They could grow up believing that they’re wrong or they’re unwanted. Could you stand that?”
“Of course not. None of this is ideal, but I want them alive. They have to be. That’s the most important thing.” The worry that held her captive, like water in a dam, suddenly broke. She almost wanted to laugh through the tears and hiccups and snot. Cal usually cried first. She’d just held this longer.
Cal tugged her wrist, and she noticed that she’d been gripping her arm too hard. She let him pull her into his embrace, settling onto his lap. His hands pressed into her back, arms wound around her like a shield, trying so hard to hold her pieces together while she sobbed into his shoulder. “So maybe we haven’t got it all figured out yet.”
“Incredible deduction, Watson,” Elle deadpanned.
“Adler,” he shot back.
She stuck her tongue out at him, and he took that as a cue to kiss her the way he’d wanted to since she’d arrived in the study. “Worst case scenario: they’re like us.” Another kiss. “Best case scenario: they’re like us. We’re gonna be fine, Elle.”
They stayed that way for a while, holding each other and crying. Ellie’s eyes were puffy when she sat up, her face red as she pushed at the tears on his cheeks. “Parker, we’re gonna be parents. I’m pretty sure fine doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“You know, if we didn’t have to be scared, I’d be so happy.” He breathed. “I’m still kind of happy.”
“I know. Me, too.”