east of eastgate - elsa k - day 27
drove downtown this morning instead of taking the bus because these pills cause constipationand all these laxatives i’ve taken, couldn’t walk to the station without shitting my jeans took 2 hours to get 2 miles i screamed off the bridge with my dislocated jaw like i used to, east of Eastgate over a rubber tired river bed straightened my collar and asked a woman to please rub her swab all over my face, make sure she wiggles it well looking out the same windows, trying to find something new to notice hospitals, hospitals, hospitals still allergic to the bees i want to hold, so i drop honey on the ground and run still unsure of how we’ll make rent while my jaw is wired shut and my girl’s mind is still overseas, battling existential crises and my mom’s mind is still crawling through coal caves watching my dad play himself in chess on a raised porch with no stairs, had to jump up just to walk in, like she used to, east of Hazard but she’s just still living in that black lung, looking out on the future like it’s a tortured past and me, i guess i’m still just some soot siphoned from a milk jug of moonshine
i was born burnt up looking for exit signs