Bathtime: How to care for your 🗡Elspeth🪻 after she murders her ex (aka Gortash)
⚠️BG3 ACT 3 SPOILERS⚠️
A small fic by SufferingIsFun 【me】
Edit: this too is now on AO3
"Bloody Hells." Rolan grumbled as he scrubbed at Elspeth's scalp for a third time. Still shocked at just how bloody this woman could get herself covered in. "How did you even manage to get this much blood this caked into your hair?!"
The tiefling was beginning to regret turning down Astarion's assistance with her bath, the elf's words now making more sense "As deliciously beautiful as our leader is I can assure you that my offer is entirely platonic. Washing your darling ex Bhall-babe here is a group effort most nights" the groups cleric had snorted and responded with "Most? Washing her hair was a 3-person job at the very least up until recently"
Lost in his thoughts he almost missed the soft chuckle coming from the enchanting woman below him. "What's so funny?" The teifling questioned "Nothing, I just think you look cute pouting like that." This caught Rolan off-guard and had him sputtering "I- I was NOT pouting, simply lost in thought about how wretchedly hard it is to clean your hair. I cannot believe this wasn't simply an oversight by the God that made you."
Another laugh, so full of joy. " To be fair, I don't think Bhaal intended me to do anything but kill" shit.. Rolan had forgotten that his partner was a Bhaalspawn, but before he could spiral on that blunder, Elspeth mercifully spoke again. "Besides, if you think this is bad, imagine the hells I went through trying to clean it before I cut it short."
Rolan shivered at the thought of having to clean Elspeth's nearly floor-length braid, he questioned how she did it, and his beloved, amused, replied "Well before all of this I probably either didn't care or had servants and cultists do it for me, as for our adventure well... I usually had Shadowheart, Karlach, and Astarion helping me. And sometimes Gale would cast prestidigitation just to be sure we got it all"
"At least now my hair is short and it's only the remains of my ex. I feel kinda bad for the others, they had to pick bits of goblin, worg, gnoll, and other various beasties out of that mess" Rolan chuckled and shook his head. Gods he loves this woman, even when she manages to get bits of Archduke stuck in unmentionable places all over herself. But that's the price of dating Elspeth, and Rolan wouldn't have it any other way.
Thankie for reading, Taggies! @headgear-smelvin-fart @wasteful-sam @yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy @kazalhia @scandistar @blu-raes