things to say about my vsmp au, disop read it here
specifically i need to talk about shelby's mental state in the most recent chapter, to start with, her denial and warped memory of the events of her turning . in attempt to make it easier for herself to exist in Scott's world, she managed to convince herself (with the assistance of Scott's off page manipulation) that Pyro was the one to turn her, while in this series, it was Scott to be the one to actually bite her, and Pyro did the rest - luring her to the woods, holding her in place. she blamed Pyro immediately after more than she did Scott, and in the month or so since her turning that shifted into convincing herself that Pyro was the one to turn her. it's not an event she thinks about often, it was just a subconscious shift that she wasn't even aware of until Pyro asked what she meant . pointing out her mistake caused her to think on the night, which she does remember with a decent amount of clarity, save for the bloodloss and a little bit of adrenaline fuckery . she realises that Pyro was too far away for the initial bite, she could see them and their mouth and Scott was behind her. Since the memory conflicted with the way her brain interpreted the events, she then scrambles to justify, falling instead into it being voluntary, and Scott wanting her by his side for eternity . it's a weak justification, and still conflicts with the memory (she ran and Pyro had to hold her down as she struggled and fought until her dying breath) all of it is in attempt to justify Scott's actions, to make him being her best friend feel better than it is. she KNOWS he's a bad person, she KNOWS that he hurt her and that undoubtedly he's going to hurt more people . but she CANNOT think like that, because if she does it will be impossible for her to live with him and be so friendly as she is . and she Likes being Scott's friend . she likes it a lot .
then Pyro calls Scott dangerous. and immediately that sets alarm bells off in her brain, Pyro isn't allowed to talk bad about Scott in her mind, because she isn't allowed to think or speak bad about him, and if Pyro is doing it then something is really wrong. she insists that Scott is a good person . that he's her friend .that he would never hurt her . that he wouldn't do that because he's a good man . and it's intentionally very reminiscient of the way people talk about men that are accused of being rapists or of sexually assaulting someone "he wouldn't do that" and "he's a good man" and "i've known him for years and he isn't like that" thats the rhetoric Shelby is pushing, except she's a victim of Scott, and since she can't bring herself to accept that, she won't allow anyone else to view her as one and she definitely won't allow Pyro to view himself as a victim .
except . shit . is she hurting pyro with this mindset? is scott hurting him? pointedly ignoring scott's actions when they affect her is fine but if its her friends? she cant lose herself to that degree.
and Pyro's response . "He wouldn't do that." echoing her very own words, the very delusion she's set up for herself . that specific sentence establishes a mutual understanding between the two that they then very quickly agree not to dwell on . that they are both victims of Scott, but neither of them can afford to look at it that way . with one sentance Shelby understands on a more subconcisous and buried level than she can see . and that links to the curtain symbolism of the chapter title:
That single sentence from Pyro is a light shining beneath the curtain, but she knows she cannot look further than light scattering through the cracks. She refuses to, and Pyro gives her the perfect out, the perfect excuse to pretend there's nothing behind the curtain worth seeing. So they agree not to speak of this mutual understanding. The light, however, is still there. Shelby can still see it if she looks, and maybe, for what she'll tell herself is no reason at all, she appreciates and respects Pyro a little more after that short interaction, because she knows and she understands that they're two sides of the same coin
and THATS why i had Scott turn Shelby instead of Pyro . it places them on the same level in the family tree, making them much more similar to siblings . it's something they have in common on an even deeper level than it goes in canon and gives some small changes to their dynamic that I get to explore in my writing :D
