I am not a negative person. I can find the good in almost any situation. Once, I was driving down the interstate, on my way home from a job interview, and a spider slowly slid down from my visor right into my line of view. Naturally, I began shrieking in the language of fear while I swerved across lanes. The motion of changing lanes quickly caused the spider to sway toward my forehead, thus ensuring even more alarm on my behalf. When I hit the shoulder of the road, the spider made contact with skin. I slung open my door, swung my legs out, and began the wildest hair tousle that has ever been done before. I'm quite sure it looked like I was having a hallucinogenic episode to those who passed me. After ten minutes, I began to calm down, assured that by then, the spider would have been flung from my scalp into the road. It was only then that I realized that in my terror-stricken frame of mind, I had not given any thought to the gusts of wind on that particular spring day. My knee-length skirt, made from lightweight material, had blown up to my waist. Which, in a more relaxed frame of mind, I also realized was the reason some cars had been honking as they passed. Now, a negative person wouldn't have anything good to say about the experience. However, I can say that it is a miracle I did not cause a 50-car pile up that day with my lane-swerving. I am also thankful that I never saw the spider again and did not suffer any spider-inflicted wounds (assuming the spider wasn't full of super power venom). I am immensely appreciative that this occurred before the era of cell phones, so I can say with fair certainty, this wasn't captured on film.
And that's not even the most embarrassing thing to happen to me... not by a long shot, sadly. My point is, with these types of regular occurrences, I feel justified in taking a day or two a year and being a little negative when the situation calls for. As I type this, it is the wee hours of the morning EST on January 3, 2014. I slept through most of January 2nd. Why? Because January 1st was not kind to me. I'd began the day with such high hopes. This is the year I will publish my second novel, finally go to Disney World, and maybe even drop a few pounds. Everything was looking good when I fell asleep New Year's Eve, and not because of wine.
On New Year's Day, at 5:30 AM, I awoke with some light congestion. Hoping it was nothing a good, hot steam couldn't cure, I jumped in the shower and reached for the shampoo. Rats! No shampoo. I'd forgotten to buy more. Okay, no biggie. I just slapped on some of my son's Batman bubble bath. Rats! No conditioner. Forget it, I'm running late anyway. So, I hope out of the shower, run a towel through my hair, and wake up my son. He's eight, and on days I work, he goes over to my mom's. Halfway to Mom's, he informs me, very sadly, that he has forgotten his DS. He'd really been looking forward to playing the game he'd gotten for Christmas. Now, he's a very good child, and he rarely asks for things, so I turn the car around, go back home, and get the game. As we pull into my mom's driveway, he informs me that he also forgot to bring the charger. Face palm. Assuring him that today was an "early" day for Mommy and that I was only working 8 hours, he would have time to play his game after I picked him up. I hugged him. No kiss, because the shower had not cleared out the congestion. Looked like I was actually getting sick this time. With my son at my mom's, I headed to work. Naturally, I arrived 15 minutes late due to the trek back for the charger and also because I had to stop and put my last $4 in my gas tank. I shoved my hair into what I refer to as my "sumo bun" because the change in hair care products had not been a happy accident and caused my nearly waist-length hair to burgeon outward, like some sort of 8th grade science experiment. But the real fun began when I clocked in. I'm an RN. On an average day, I care for patients who are very confused and try to hit, bite, and punch, and an alarmingly high number who throw soiled briefs or urinals at staff. I care for patients who are dying and sometimes have no family or friends at their bedside. I care for patients who require a maximum amount of physical help due to recent surgeries. I work in a field where not only the patients and their families will often argue with you, but you also get sassed by the doctor you're calling during his normal off hours, and by administration who wonders why everything is not done on time, and by the nurse aides who are complaining that they already have too much to do - and they do. It's physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing. But on January 1st, all of it was A-OK because I was being treated to a rare 8 hour shift, instead of your usual, draining 12 hour shift. The work day was going well enough... no codes, no changes in status, no admissions, and as the 8 hour mark approached, I became more and more optimistic that it was going to be the best shift I'd ever worked. But the 8 hour mark came and went, and there I still was, wondering where my relief was. Sometimes in the healthcare field, holiday schedules can be tricky. There's room for confusion. Bottom line - I was being mandated to stay. The last half of the shift was not as pretty as the first half of the shift. By the time, I picked up my son - nearly 16 hours later, it was time for bed. Bless his heart, he just said, "Okay" in a very sad voice. After tucking him in, I came downstairs, intending to work on my next novel and finish a resume I'd been working on for a different nursing position. But first, I always check my reviews. My first novel has been out for almost 4 months now. In that time, I have received 12 Amazon reviews, 2 on Amazon.de, 1 Shelfari rating, and 10 Goodreads reviews. I have been pleased by all of these ratings/reviews. I knew it was only a matter of time before I would see my first negative rating. After all, literature is very much subjective, and I can see how a tender love story with over-sexed zombies with super human abilities wouldn't be for everyone. Still, it was disheartening to see my first official negative rating of 2 stars when I sat in front of my computer screen that night. I decided that after my discouraging day, I would just head to bed so that it could come to a close. Now that a good 24 hours has passed, I am ready to cope with the rest of the year. But 2014, you really ought to be ashamed. I expect greater things from you in the future.
