#emc3

[lepistaresistance]

It's been 2 years and 4 months since I saw you last...It's times where I can only jog through the memory of loosing you. Coming to terms with knowing your not caked up with someone else or out busy working on your dreams is where the pain truly lies. Your not an ex I can wish the best for. Your not an ex I can check on social media for or ask your "friends" about. Your my baby that I'll never be able to see again...I read your Tumblr and just shed tears. As a man knowing something and someone you'd give your all for has given their all to the wrong thing it tares me apart. Every year on my mother's birthday I'll remember your last words. Every Valentine's Day I'll think of the Birds Of Paradise I bought you. Every birthday I'll remember you being by my side as I wake up from my joyous night. Every time I'm in Cali I'll only have thoughts about how proud and happy you would've been with me enjoying life on the west coast. I've isolated myself. I tried dating after you passed and that fucked me up even more. I question what I could've done and know all my flaws and I'm forced to live with every decision I did or didn't make. But throughout all these words of pain I just want to ask you to just lay with me tonight. ..please Mecca just lay by my side

[hubmall]

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[mental-health-advice]

i have read a lot of stuff about borderline personality disorder online and basically every symptom fits me perfectly. however I am almost 15 years old , do u think that a doctor would diagnose me at this age ? i am scared of going to the doctors and being turned away, i would feel so fake and attention seeking . - emc3

Hello, emc3.

First of all, please remember that it is very dangerous to self diagnose. I am glad that you were willing to go to the doctor to be diagnosed. It is very important that you don't just assume that you have BPD, and that you get an official diagnosis.

I've looked into doctors diagnosing BPD, and it looks like a diagnosis of BPD is very uncommon and very unpredictable in patients under the age of 18. However, this does not mean that you cannot get a diagnosis.

You said you were worried about the doctor turning you away. I can tell you with utmost certainty that a doctor will never turn away a patient that needs help. Even if the doctor cannot provide an official diagnosis of BPD, the doctor will not turn you away. No doctor, therapist, social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, etc. will ever turn away someone who comes to them for help.

The professional knows that even if you are not able to have an official diagnosis, you still need their help.

I am not saying that you cannot get a diagnosis. If everything fits, and the doctor believe so as well, you could very well get a diagnosis. But you have to keep in mind that the doctor may not think that you have BPD. Your doctor may determine that you have some other disorder, or he may not be able to decide. In any case, the doctor will be able to help you. The doctor will not turn you away.

Doctors are always there to help you no matter if they think that you have BPD or not.

Please do think about trying to get diagnosed. Even if you do not have BPD, the doctor will help you.

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean