#mhadean

[mental-health-advice]

I've been googling (about the doctor thing) but I trust you guys more. Everyone's applied for university already but I haven't cause my grades are so poor. I would be able to get in if I pick my socks up this term, but I think I'm riding out on some (false?) hope that I can go to medical school after I get better. I'm clever, and I think I'm clever enough. It's just a question of whether it would be okay? Normal/easy university courses, sure, but medical school? They're so tight on entries 😩

Hello,

Have you thought about going to a community college? I had terrible grades, and I didn't graduate in the traditional way, and there is no way I would be able to get into a four-year university with the grades that I had.

However, after realizing that I couldn't get into any four-year universities, I decided to check out a community college. They may not have the courses that you would like to take, but they do have counselors Who can help you find the requirements needed to get into a four-year of your choice.

You don't need good grades to get into a community college. But you do have to have determination and the will to get where you want to be. You can still go to medical school, just not right after high school.  You just have to get good grades in the classes that you take in community college.

A lot of people think that they can't get into university.  But the truth is, that if you go to community college and do well, four-year universities won't even look at your high school transcript. You may have to have a couple of backup schools just in case your first choice wont accept you, but I believe that you will be able to get into medical school with some effort on your part.

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean

[mental-health-advice]

i have read a lot of stuff about borderline personality disorder online and basically every symptom fits me perfectly. however I am almost 15 years old , do u think that a doctor would diagnose me at this age ? i am scared of going to the doctors and being turned away, i would feel so fake and attention seeking . - emc3

Hello, emc3.

First of all, please remember that it is very dangerous to self diagnose. I am glad that you were willing to go to the doctor to be diagnosed. It is very important that you don't just assume that you have BPD, and that you get an official diagnosis.

I've looked into doctors diagnosing BPD, and it looks like a diagnosis of BPD is very uncommon and very unpredictable in patients under the age of 18. However, this does not mean that you cannot get a diagnosis.

You said you were worried about the doctor turning you away. I can tell you with utmost certainty that a doctor will never turn away a patient that needs help. Even if the doctor cannot provide an official diagnosis of BPD, the doctor will not turn you away. No doctor, therapist, social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, etc. will ever turn away someone who comes to them for help.

The professional knows that even if you are not able to have an official diagnosis, you still need their help.

I am not saying that you cannot get a diagnosis. If everything fits, and the doctor believe so as well, you could very well get a diagnosis. But you have to keep in mind that the doctor may not think that you have BPD. Your doctor may determine that you have some other disorder, or he may not be able to decide. In any case, the doctor will be able to help you. The doctor will not turn you away.

Doctors are always there to help you no matter if they think that you have BPD or not.

Please do think about trying to get diagnosed. Even if you do not have BPD, the doctor will help you.

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean

[mental-health-advice]

This isn't health related very much... I just need to vent I guess and I don't know where else to go... So I've been talking to a guy and I like him, and he likes me, but I called it off because it made me anxious and he'd always text me just to see how I was doing and whatever and he acted like he was still into me and today on Instagram he had some other girl as his wcw and I just feel so hurt and helpless and used... Because I genuinely still had feelings for him and he just played me :/

Hello,

I want you to remember that what somebody doesn’t Instagram does not necessarily reflect what they feel in real life. Just because he put somebody else as his WCW does not mean that he don’t like you anymore. I honestly do not think that he played you. Like you said you were the one who cut it off. He might think that you don’t have feelings for him anymore. He may still like you. He still may have feelings for you. I personally am not very familiar with Instagram and it’s “#WCW”, but I know that I wouldn’t necessarily put my girlfriend as my WCW. Especially if I do it all the time. I probably would put her in as my #WCW a few times but then eventually I would put somebody else. I know she would do the same.

The point of this ramble is that I don’t believe that he has lost his feelings for you. I do not believe that he played you. Personally I think you should ask him about it. Especially if you guys are still friends.

Even if he has lost his feelings for you, I don’t think that he played you. I think that he has decided that you don’t want him anymore, and that while he’s very upset about it he decided that it is time for him to move on. I believe that you should try to talk to him about it. If he doesn’t like you anymore, I think that it might be time to set your sights on somebody else. I’m sure that there’s somebody better for you out there.

Good luck and keep fighting, -Dean

[mental-health-advice]

Hi, I'm tessa and scrolling down your blog I realized that I choose recovery. I've convinced my mom to schedule me with a therapist, but it's honestly so scary to me. I have this thing called maladaptive daydreaming and I was wondering if I should tell the therapist about this because it's so awkward to talk about. Secondly, you inspired me a lot and seeing as I'm a normally quiet and socially awkward person, how do I comfort or make people like me feel better like you do?

Hello, Tessa!

I’m so glad we inspired you to choose recovery. Recovery can be a long and hard process but it is definitely worth it in the end. Don’t be afraid of recovery. I know it may seem scary at the moment but I’m glad you have made the choice to pursue it.

As for your maladaptive daydreaming, I would definitely try to tell your therapist. I know it may be a little difficult, but definitely try. If you can’t manage to do it, maybe think about writing your therapist a letter about it and either read it off, or just handed to him or her to read. Remember that your therapist's job is to help you, not hurt you.

Make sure to try out your therapist a couple of times to make sure that you actually do like them before you decide on them. You may have to try out a few therapists before you find one that fits you. Every therapist is different because they’re all people and people are all different. Just like you don’t get along with every person you meet, you’re not going to get along with every therapist you may meet.

Remember that every therapist you meet is bound by confidentiality. This means that they cannot legally tell anyone anything about your problems without your consent. If you have a psychiatrist, they can’t even tell anything to them, without your consent. I’m not sure how it works if you’re under 18, with your parents, but I do know that if you’re over 18 they cannot legally tell your parents anything either.

I’m very glad we inspired your road to recovery. As for helping people, make sure that you know that it’s not for everyone. Not everyone is great with words, nor is everyone good at advice. If people come to you with questions, think about them for a while before you try to answer them. Maybe try writing out your answers a couple times scratching them out and editing them before you actually answer.

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean

[mental-health-advice]

Is it possible to be a perfectionist but also be a procrastinator? I always want everything to be perfect and have perfect grades but I always do my school work only the day before I have to hand it in and I procrastinate a lot..

Hello!

It is just as possible to be a perfectionist and a procrastinator as it is to have depression and anxiety. They seem like opposites when you glance at them, but when you think about it, they coincide.

I myself am both, and one of the major reasons why I procrastinate is because I know that if I'll start something, it will have to be absolutely perfect before I put it down and decide that it's good enough for posting or turning in or whatever I may be doing. Its hard to convince myself to do something because it will have to be perfect, so I end up pushing it until the last possible second.

I have a lot of friends who are the same way. Many of them use the excuse "I don't have time to make it perfect right now. I have other things to do".

Try not to get yourself stuck too far into the rut of procrastination. I would suggest setting a designated time (1-3 hours with 5 minute breaks every 30 minutes) every day where you sit down and focus on your work and only your work. Turn off your computer (if you don't need it for the assignment) and your phone; try to put all distractions away. Pick an area to work at every day. This will condition your brain to think that if you're sitting there, it means work.

Hopefully this will help!

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean

[mental-health-advice]

Did you get a message signed -Sam yesterday? Just checking if it got through or not…

Hello, Sam.

We do have your ask in our box. please be patient and we will get to it as soon as possible. Thank you!

Good luck and keep fighting,-Dean

[mental-health-advice]

**stars** (again) So if I want to dress like a girl and a guy, but still identify as a girl, that's okay? Because lately that's what I've been feeling. Would the term "genderqueer" be correct in this situation? Or is there another term? Thanks so much for your help :)

Hello, stars!

What other people think that you should identify as is nothing compared to what you feel you should identify as. If you want to dress up like a guy but still are a girl, that is totally fine. You can dress however you want.

Labels are used way too often, sometimes, an it makes me sad seeing people who are confused about their own label when it shouldn’t be a problem at all. You call yourself whatever you want to call yourself. No one can tell you what you do and do not fit the criteria for because its your thoughts, your opinions, your body. It is you, no one else.

A lot of girls I know like wearing boys clothing but still identify fully with female. I also know some guys who like wearing girls clothes and identify as a male.

Your identity is yours, and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should and shouldn’t be.

Good luck and keep fighting, -Dean

[mental-health-advice]

Hey real quick what live admins are on right now?

It looks like Chloe is the only one on right now.

-Dean