ORPHUS: *Its dark, the moons barely giving enough light in the clouded sky to be able to see more then a couple of feet in front of you. He turns his head just slightly to whisper something over his shoulder to his second in comand while they sit at the check point with two one other troll with him. The second half of his squad is across the street tucked behind another building. The entire street- no the whole city is quiet, barren. Something feels off. He checks his radio to get in contact with the second squad, "Eddi<k." No reply only static and dead air. "Eddi<k <ome in." this time their is a gurgled hiss, like words pressed out through gritted teeth. "Wroooong waaaaaaaaaay." Orphus doesn't even have time to expression his confusion before the sound of gun shots ring out in both his ears and the entire world does a 360 degree spin. Hes on the deck of his fathers ship now, all his men are gone, people are fighting there is blood of all colors on the wooden boards under his feet. Hes just barely four sweeps old and he has a knife, and there is an impossibly huge troll in front of him with bright red eyes and tusks big enough to gut someone. Orphus cant move, it feels like hes breathing in water instead of air, drowning on oxygen. And the big troll grins and lifts the axe in his hands while distorted images he recognizes as his father and family crew stand in the background and watch as the laughing monster drives the blade of his axe straight through his chest-*
ORPHUS: *Orphus inhales with a deep shuddering gasp sitting directly up. He wheezes and shakes, covered in cold sweat and something is near him and his first instinct is to disentangle himself. Wait. Wait hes not home. Hes not four sweeps old, hes not dead. He's in Citrin's room, they were hanging out, got tired and fell asleep. That is where they were.*
ORPHUS: *A shaking hand reaches up to his chest and through the t shirt ghosts over the old scar. It wasnt real, it wasnt real this time.* (S'not real....)
CITRIN: *citrin isn't easy to stir usually, but suddenly being rolled aside when orphus sits up is enough to get him groaning. he squints up at orphus through sleep crusted eyes and baps at the shape of him lightly with one hand.*
CITRIN: what'z your deal? *whines*
ORPHUS: *He roughly smacks the hand away that touches him, and winces instantly as he didnt mean to put so much strength behind it but his whole body is rigid.* ......Nn-Nothing.
CITRIN: *grumbles and shifts to sit up too, leaning back on his hands. he blinks away the sleep and finally notices orphus doesn't look so good.* ... oh, hey. are you okay?
ORPHUS: *Hes not wheezing anymore, but he is taking deep breaths. He just needs a few more moments to finish coming back to reality.* Im... yes. It is fine. *He scoots to the edge of the bed and swallows dryly, fighting off the sudden nausea.*
ORPHUS: *Hes pale and still all kinds of visably uncomfortable. Like he is ready to bolt from the spot at any moment.*
CITRIN: umm okay. but what'z up?? i mean, can you talk about it...? *he's trying to phrase things a little more sensitively anymore... but when all else fails he can usually rely on his warm chubby comforts?? he scoots closer, pressing against orphus' arm and chirring softly.*
ORPHUS: *It takes his entire will not to flinch away from the warmth of Citrin pressing against him, it was always a little difficult for him to deal with physical contact right after one of his dreams, but the presence and chirrs did help to start to sooth him.* ....Just. Bad dream.
ORPHUS: It.. Happens. Its not-... For trolls more involved in-- Its not un<ommon in the more milaristi< Alternian so<ieties.
CITRIN: oh... yeah. like ptzd? *that happens to his dad sometimes, too. he keeps chirring.* ... that ztill zuckz though.
ORPHUS: No. Its not. *He snaps his responce quickly, he always hated putting a name to it. Ptsd. He hated it so much.*
ORPHUS: People get nightmares.
CITRIN: umm i mean i beg to differ but whatever. *grumbles a little, but squishes his cheek to him defiantly.* either WAY.
ORPHUS: *He grunts and leans into him.* I do not have ptsd. I am stronger then that.
CITRIN: pbbbt. that izn't how it workz...
ORPHUS: Im sorry are you an expert of some kind. *huffs.*
CITRIN: UM I MEAN... it'z not like i don't know ANYTHING about it... *looks up at him* a lot of people in my family ztruggle with ztuff like that.
ORPHUS: *Hes staring straight ahead at a wall on the otherside of the room, but for a brief moment his gaze flicks down to Citrin and then back up.* ............ I dont experien<e it every day. Its just.
ORPHUS: Every on<e in a while it happens. Never when Im awake.
CITRIN: oh yeah, zo i guezz thatdoezn't make it a problem then... *so much for being SENSITIVE. but orphus is being stubborn and he's worried.*
ORPHUS: Yes, that is <orre<t.
CITRIN: i waz being ZARCAZTIC, geniuz!! >8P
ORPHUS: I know. But that was still <orre<t.
CITRIN: zo you think you're better than people who have ptzd??
ORPHUS: *He scowls and looks down at him again.* No, I did not say that.
CITRIN: you're kind of acting like it...
ORPHUS: *His good ear flicks.* That is not my intention.
ORPHUS: I just do not think I have ptsd.
ORPHUS: The dreams do not impeed my work. Or interfere with my day to day life.
CITRIN: i mean... if you're zure... *but he sounds like he doubts it*
ORPHUS: Yes I am <ertian. I only happen to have dreams that roughly mimi< experien<es I did not find ex<eptionally friendly.
ORPHUS: *Suddenly realizes that his one hand is still gripping the front of his own shirt over his scars and he quickly releases it.*
CITRIN: *he notices this once he let's go and frowns deeper.* ...
CITRIN: do you ever... talk about the dreamz?
ORPHUS: *He shakes his head.* No. Not in a very long time.
CITRIN: maybe you zhould do that??
ORPHUS: *He takes a moment to think about it.* ...With who. *He wouldnt message his dad about them, that would just make him worried.*
CITRIN: maybe the guy zitting right next to you??
ORPHUS: *Raises a brow at him.* Is that a legitimate offer.
CITRIN: OF COURZE IT IZ?? why wouldn't it be.
ORPHUS: Be<ause that does not really seem something a kismesis would be interested in. I am fairly <ertain my father and non-existent mother never spoke of su<h things.
CITRIN: ... lmao maybe that'z why zhe'z "non-exiztant."
CITRIN: *he shrugs* i dunno... maybe that izn't how it'z zuppozed to go?? but in thiz caze i don't think i care.
ORPHUS: .....How should I begin?
CITRIN: at the beginning?? >8P
CITRIN: whatever you remember firzt from the dream.
ORPHUS: Okay. *He readjusts himself and looks down at his hands in his lap, starting to idly fiddle with his fingers as he tries to drag up the dream instead of shoving it down like usual.* Everything seemed sort of distorted. I mean, you <ant ever tell in the moment, its just dream logi<. I was with part of my old task squad. And... and I think we were on some sort of mission. We were in this abandoned <ity for some reason, and I <ouldnt get in <onta<t with half my men.
CITRIN: *he shifts too, turning to look at him better while he speaks. he has an intense stare of CONCENTRATION. he frowns as he listens... orphus is so young. he can't believe he's been put in charge of something like that? not that he thinks he's incapable, of course... mostly it just seems a little FUCKED UP.*
CITRIN: okay... then what?
ORPHUS: *He worked so hard to get that position, it certainly wasn't easy to convince his dad to let him do it.* Then... Well then I turned to my se<ond in <omand, Reggia, and I think she said something but I dont remember it.
ORPHUS: I tried radioing the se<ond half of my squadrant, but they dont reply. But then they do only I dont think it was Eddi<k speaking it was something else.
ORPHUS: It said "Wrong way." And... And then I just hear a lot of gunfire.
CITRIN: *can his frowns get any deeper? they sure seem to.* iz thiz... did zomething like thiz happen to you?
ORPHUS: *He looks at Citrin again and sees the frown, and it makes him frown some. He didnt want Citrin to get upset over this after all.* No, not exa<tly. But there are similarities to the third mission I was ever in <harge of.
ORPHUS: I was <o<ky then. Riding the high of two previous su<<esses, and was either oporating on bad information or missed something.
ORPHUS: It was supposed to be just an obje<t retrieval mission. Take prisoners of those who resisted. But... they somehow knew we were <oming. Something gave us away and I led my team straight into an ambush.
ORPHUS: I froze and <ouldnt give orders in time. One died, I was shot and if it wasn't for Reggia I think I would have also died. She dug the bullet out when we were under fire and dragged me to safety even at the expen<e of taking a leg full of shrapnel.
CITRIN: *his frowns quickly transform into something a little more horrified.* you almozt DIED??
ORPHUS: Well, yes, I am now. That was a sweep ago.
ORPHUS: *Why does the bee look so horrified, he does not like it.*
CITRIN: oh, right. az they zay... TIME HEALZ ALL WOUNDZ. *he is pretty distressed and irritated. this must be similar to how ruleus feels right now...*
ORPHUS: *He feels more and more uneasy with Citrin's reaction, and now hes starting to scooch away.* Sorry.
ORPHUS: I'm aware that my situation is very unique to others on this ship. And that I'm sure I <ome off as <areless or overly bold or proud.
ORPHUS: But I need to be okay with it. With what I do. I re<ognize the dangers I fa<e, I'm not stupid or entirely re<kless. But I am used to not dwelling on what has gone wrong in the past. Be<ause when I do think about it, it makes me feel worried, or I hesitate on things.
CITRIN: *he sighs heavily, shoulders sagging.* i juzt... i don't get it.
CITRIN: i don't get why you zhould... have to deal with thiz ztuff.
ORPHUS: I suppose I dont have to.
ORPHUS: But I've always wanted to.
ORPHUS: I <ould have been a do<tor, or worked on engines, or <harts but...
ORPHUS: *He shrugs.* I never wanted to.
ORPHUS: I like what I do. There is good and bad to it. I want to be a troll my <rew <an be proud to <all one of their own. I want to go beyond their expe<tations of me.
CITRIN: iz that... i mean...
CITRIN: iz it really worth it?
ORPHUS: *He mulls over the question. Is it worth it? Thats one he used to ask himself a lot.* Truthfully? I do wonder about it.
ORPHUS: But yes, I think it is. Its worth it be<ause those I work alongside are worth it.
CITRIN: ... *stares down at his lap, having a hell of a time countering that.*
CITRIN: not to guilt trip you but...
CITRIN: whenever you... go back to that...
CITRIN: i'm gonna worry about you conztantly.
ORPHUS: *He figits. Right, someone had brought that to his attention a while ago, at some point he would be returning and leaving Citrin behind and suddenly he feels like there is a hole in the center of his chest.* Right. I apologize in advan<e for your worry.
CITRIN: *he just shurgs while his stomach slowly ties up into knots. the thought crosses his mind on occassion, but it's something he doesn't like to make a habit of dwelling on. at first, it wasn't so bad... citrin liked him, and he took the relationship seriously, but he's used to things coming and going. he felt like he could accept it. but where they are now -- as strange as it might seem to him, his relationship with orphus is almost... more stable than with ruleus, and the thought of him being gone is scary. he can't think of anything else to say, but he suddenly wants to be close to him again, so he closes the small gap orphus had made to wrap his arms around him.*
ORPHUS: *Heck dont do this to him. When Citrin's arms wrap around him like that the ache in his ribcage gets worse and what comes out of his mouth is almost a whine as he places a hand on the peaches back and gently rubs it.* You are being grossly affectionate. Y-You must stop.
CITRIN: i don't give a fuck... *buries his face against orphus' shirt, clinging tight.*
ORPHUS: *Nnooooo, he cant handle that. His arms are wrapping around Citrin, holding him a little tighter then he should and he presses his nose into the troll's hair.* Disgra<eful.
CITRIN: zhut up you're all about thiz. *the chirrs return with a vengence, and at some point, citrin started to climb up into his lap to sit. this is his chair now.-
ORPHUS: *Are you making him cradle you in his arms Citrin? Because that is what is happening now.* That just makes it worse.
CITRIN: eheheh. zuckz to be you. *tilts his head up to give him the lightest of nips at his jaw. they might as well be kisses.*
ORPHUS: *He grumbles at the nips and pokes and pinches his sides.* It does su<k to be me. But not as mu<h as it must su<k to be you.
CITRIN: what'z that zuppozed to mean?? it'z great to be me. *squirms a little as he's prodded, but he's grinning about it.*
ORPHUS: *Good, smiling means hes not as upset about Orphus's whole life as before and he can poke and prod him more.* Well for one you have a boring existen<e.
CITRIN: eheheh. it zuitz me. >8P
ORPHUS: A boring life style for a boring individual.
CITRIN: yeah right, like you ACTUALLY think i'm boring... with an "EXCITING" life like yourz, i doubt you'd wazte ur time on me if i wazn't ZOMEWHAT interezting. >8P
ORPHUS: Your dan<e skills are enti<ing, that is all.
CITRIN: oooo zo you like it when i zhake my money maker?? >8)
ORPHUS: ........No you ruined it.
CITRIN: I THINK YOU LIKE IT.
ORPHUS: Not anymore. Now I hate it.
CITRIN: *climbs off of him to stand in front of the bed*
CITRIN: for theze zick movez...
ORPHUS: *He clings to Citrin when the bee starts to leave but ultimatly releases him and already he is cringing in preperation for what is to come.* I am ready to be si<k from them.
CITRIN: *there he goes... the booty is rockin'.*
ORPHUS: No. *Gently kicks that butt with his foot.*
CITRIN: *backs that ass up at orphus.*
ORPHUS: *Keeps kick nudging him.* Get out of here.
CITRIN: NO IT'Z MY BLOCK!!
ORPHUS: Not anymore I am <laiming it.
CITRIN: *HOPS UP and plops himself on orphus again.*
ORPHUS: You may fight me for it if you wish-- *HES PLOPPED ON.*
ORPHUS: *Gonna try and roll that peach over to get on top.*
CITRIN: *it's easy enough to overpower him when he isn't really putting up a fight, but he is wiggling and giggling all the while.*
ORPHUS: *Since Citrin doesnt resist him Orphus easily pins him, stradling the peach's waist and gently holding his arms above his horns.* Looks like this is still my blo<k.
CITRIN: pffff. well, what'z fair iz FAIR, i guezz. >8P
CITRIN: what are you gonna do with it now that you have it??
ORPHUS: *He sits back on him some and thinks about it.* Hm.
ORPHUS: Ki<k you out probably.
CITRIN: YOU WOULDN'T. becauze then you wouldn't have zomething zquizhy to zit on. >80
ORPHUS: And on<e I ki<k you out I would get rid of any bugs you are keeping in here.
CITRIN: NO!! RUDE!! don't punizh my bug friendz!! *nipz at hiz arm*
ORPHUS: "Bug friends" thats an oxymoron. *Blows on his face.* Do not try to bite me. Are you a trapped animal?
CITRIN: oh yez. i'm an animal alright. >;)
ORPHUS: A weak one if anything.
CITRIN: i'm not weak... in the zheetz...
ORPHUS: You are weak on top of them <learly.
CITRIN: I'M GOOD AT THE ZEX.
ORPHUS: No yes I got as mu<h.
ORPHUS: Im just reminding you that normally you are quite weak and defenseless.
CITRIN: PLZ. i get it!! and i'm trying to change the zubject to zomething we BOTH care about.
ORPHUS: Whi<h is you being good at "the sex."
ORPHUS: You are alright at it.
CITRIN: *he iz zo zeriouz*
ORPHUS: *Hes not being serious and is smiling a little bit.* You are ex<used.
CITRIN: NO. U LIZTEN TO ME.
ORPHUS: *He shrugs to get his goat.*
ORPHUS: A reminder of proof might be ni<e.
CITRIN: oh yeah. *eyes emoji*
CITRIN: *zaps at orphus' arms to try to get him to let go of him.* >8P
ORPHUS: *Ouch!! Him zapped! He lets go of Citrin's wrists so he can rub the small sting in his arms away.* Rude.
CITRIN: *now that he's FREE, he can grab at orphus' shirt and pull him down for a kiss.*
ORPHUS: *He watches as Citrin grabs the front of his shirt and he can guess what happens next before hes even pulled down. The moment their lips meet Orphus firm presses forward into the kiss and he braces himself on the bed with hands placed on either sides of Citrin. Yes this is good.*
CITRIN: *he sits up as much as he can to lean into the kiss, giving it all the enthusiasm he's got. which is quite a bit, naturally. and with this new leverage, he starts to push back to roll them onto their sides.*
ORPHUS: *He wont fight it because now that they are on his sides he doesnt have to support himself above Citrin, and can instead put his hands to better work roughly carding through his hair.*
CITRIN: *despite being a tangle of limbs and lips, citrin is still trying to get orphus' shirt off. free the tiddies...*
ORPHUS: *huff.* (Getting that off would have been easier before you rolled us.) *He grumbles in between kisses and does a great deal of shifting to get his shirt up over his horns and shoulders, completely off his body.*
CITRIN: *yeeees. now his greedy little hands can feel up his muscles, but he lingers over his chest for a moment, where he remembers seeing orphus grasp at earlier after his dream.* ... *kisses him there.*
ORPHUS: *Yes feel his muscles, he is swol and strong. Hes got a six pack and everything- Citrin kisses the center of his chest, right over the long thin pale scar stretching across from left shoulder to right tid. It makes a slightly emotional noise that orphus didnt know he would make gurgle up the back of his throat.* Mhrgh... You are gross and affe<tionate. *He complains and then uses the hand on the back of Citrin's head to push him more against his chest so he can squeeze and smother the peach.*
CITRIN: eheheh... you keep trying to zay that like it'z a bad thing... *giggling gently into the cleft of his pecs, it only encourages him to kiss at it more. maybe orphus doesn't want to admit how his past experiences are haunting him, but there are other ways to help him heal. he hopes this will help, anyway. while he's doing that, his hand wanders down his waist, slipping to play with the band of his pants.*
