So the new chapter is out and GOOD GOD do I have some thoughts and a lot of them don’t make a whole lot of sense but I can’t not talk about this chapter
Firstly, Kaiser looks adorable (never thought I’d say that about him outside of my head but here I am)
Secondly, holy hell my heart hurts
He didn’t deserve this, no child deserves this
The fact that he had to “go to work” and just steal
HE HAS NO SHOES his little feet have got to hurt, or they’ve completely calloused up from not wearing shoes, but even then (speaking from experience) it still hurts to walk on hot ground and rocks and other stuff on the street
Yknow, I understood him hating milk before (because milk is disgusting) but now I get it even more
What a stupid reason to get upset, imma kick this waste of space excuse for a father in the fucking face AND balls because ITS FUCKING MILK
Eat some damn fiber or somethin if you got constipation issues
Who let this absolute scum of the earth reproduce???
HES LITERALTL TWELVE YEARS OLD
All the other shit went down before he was even double digits
But dangerous situations create smart kids, and Kaiser was very smart to start saving his own money
I used to have my own stash in case I ever had to run away (long story, we’re not getting into my family issues in this post, but yeah)
At least he has shoes now, protect those feet plz, they’re what keep you upright and moving
Soooooooo are we gonna acknowledge that he treats the soccer ball the same way he’s currently treating Ness orrrrrrrr
But like, it’s nice that he has an outlet to channel his anger into that isn’t a person (at least for now smh)
It’s really interesting seeing how each of the characters came to play soccer
(Side note: but he throws the ball at a picture of a woman, could he maybe be imagining this woman as his mother?)
His mother also deserves a kick to the face if I have anything to say bout it
I have no words for this
Just, can I steal him? Please? I’ll give him a good life
Fuck the snitches, how dare they
Also, you can clearly see his ribs defined, and that hurts me
I love that he was willing to let go of everything
He was ready to start fresh with getting money, was cooperating with the police, until the soccer ball was threatened
Because that is his most valuable possession
The money doesn’t matter, but the ball is a symbol to him of something that won’t leave him or hurt him
It’s a very small sense of independence and stability in this very unstable and controlling environment
The ball is heavily implied to be the first thing he ever bought for himself, it’s what defined a key part in his life
Taking that away is like taking away his soul, his outlet, and comfort, and Kaiser just couldn’t stand for it
There’s so many more things I’m thinkin and I have way too many incoherent thoughts for tumblr, but these are the ones I was able to clear up and make sense of
This chapter hit very deep and while my past doesn’t involve much physical abuse and struggles to this level, it was hard not to empathize and relate my own experiences with abuse with the ones in this chapter
I don’t wanna get into shit, it’s not somethin I exactly wanna put out in the public, but there’s so much here that I could understand and relate to and it just made everything so much more difficult to read (in a good way I guess)
Just, GOD, why did I have to become a fan before this chapter came out???
Okay, that’s my ramble for this, bye before I start going on even more tangents
