Just a little Ryden to hold you over until we are posting on a regular basis again. Thank you so much for sticking with us! We appreciate every single one of you! <3 PRC2
Spencer dug his feet into the sand a little further, the warmth making him feel more at home. He and Ryan sit watching the sun set into a palette of pastel purple, pinks, and blues. They’ve been back from tour for a about a week now, but this is the first chance they have had to get to the beach. Spencer noticed that Ryan has seemed a little off since they have been back; he chalks it up to post tour blues at first though, it happens more than they usually like to admit. Today however, Ryan seems even farther away in his head than normal and it’s making him feel a little uneasy. They sit silent for a few more minutes as the sun fades against the ocean and Spencer bumps his shoulder against Ryan’s.
“Ry, what’s the matter, buddy?”
“Hmmm? Nothing.” Ryan mumbles. Spencer knows better than that, he knows that sometimes you have to pry things from Ryan and a lot of the time, it's never what you expect it to be.
“Well, I can’t make you tell me, but I am here if you want to talk, okay?,” Spencer offers. Ryan turns his head slowly towards him, opening his mouth and then closing it again as if he isn’t sure he wants what is in there to escape quite yet. “Are you okay, Ry?”
“I can’t do this anymore, Spence.” Ryan says sadly. His voice barely audible over the rolling waves crashing in front of them. Spencer aches slightly from the anxiety that has sprung into his chest and suddenly, he is more than casually concerned for his best friend. Ryan has gone through a lot of shit in his short life and there could be a million things he is referring to.
“I can’t be there with him, in the same room with him, in the same band with him. I-”
Spencer looks at him from his spot in the sand and if it wasn’t so sincere, he would have just dismissed it as Ryan and his normal dramatics, but this is different. Ryan’s voice was different- almost pained and it made Spencer’s eyes tear up in the corners.
“Ry? I- what’s going on?”
Ryan wipes away the wet trail of tears that are falling onto his cheeks with the back of his hand. Spencer wants nothing more than to be able to figure him out; to fix him. His best friend is hurting and he can’t do anything about it.
“I wish I could control the way my heart feels in my chest when I see him. It’s like this tight energy winding it’s way through every nerve in my body. The way it feels like I can't breathe until he’s looked at me and smiles that lopsided grin that makes my stomach flip upside down,” His voice was muffled, hiding his face in his arm. Spencer slowly scoots the short distance between them to be by Ryan’s side.“The- the stupid way he always tries to make me feel better when I am moody; even when he knows it’s no use. I think I love him Spencer and that scares the shit out of me so much that I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t think he feels the same way.” Ryan’s words slowly drop off turning into sobs and Spencer pulls him close letting him bury his head against Spencer's neck.
“Hey,” Spencer’s voice is soft and concerned “Hey. Have you talked to him about this? Maybe he doesn’t know how you feel?”
Ryan’s head dislodges from his best friend’s neck and the look he throws at Spencer is nothing short of reproachful.
“I can’t do that Spencer! What if he laughs in my face? What if it hurts the band? No, I- I think it’s just time for me to move on.”
Spencer sighs, “First of all, you need to take a deep breath. Second of all, you are an idiot if you think he isn’t into you. I love you and you are my best friend, but you are dumb as a post if you think he doesn’t feel the same way. Third, you aren’t going anywhere, asshole.This is your band and I can’t do this without you.”
“If he felt the same way, why wouldn’t he have said something by now?” Ryan scoffs.
“Because you are both idiots. Here, I’ll show you.” Spencer mumbles as he shakes his head in disbelief. He pulls out his cell phone and taps out a message before Ryan can protest. A minute later his screen lights up with a message from Brendon. He taps out his reply and then he stands up pulling Ryan with him.
“We’re going home, lover boy, let’s go.” His voice gently commanding. Ryan looks as if he is about to argue, but then his expression softens to a worried glare.
“I can’t Spence- I can’t.” Spencer sees the fear in Ryan’s eyes and pulls him into a hug. Squeezing tightly until Ryan reciprocates.
“You can and you will. I would not do this if I thought it was going to end badly. We’ve been friends since we were tiny, Ryan, I would never do anything intentionally to hurt you. As your best friend, it is my obligation to make sure that you are happy and whatever this is- it’s not happy.”
Ryan sighs and follows Spencer back to the car where they ride in silence all the way back to the house. Pulling up, Ryan spots Brendon sitting on the front step, his head in his hands as if he was bored.
“What- what did you say to him?” Ryan asks nervously.
“I told him you two needed to talk and asked him to come over; it’s not like I had to beg him to do it.” Spencer smirked.
“My heart is beating so fast I feel like I am going to die, Spence.”
“I think they call that being in love.” Spencer says, clearly amused.
Ryan’s eyes grow wide. “Oh. Oh, fuck.”
“Come on, it’s just Brendon, he won’t bite; unless you want him to?” Spencer raises his eyebrows in coquettish suggestion.
“Fuck off, Spencer.” Ryan bites back.
“Fair enough,” He laughs throwing his hands up in surrender, “Are you going to get out of the car at least?”
“Yeah.” Ryan let’s out a deep breath and slowly gets out of the car- careful to watch where he is walking so he doesn’t trip and fall flat on his face.
“Hey, guys!” Brendon says standing up from the concrete steps, waving. His smile is wide and comforting and if Ryan didn’t know any better, he would have thought his heart was beating even faster now.
“H-hey,” Ryan stammers, “How are you?”
Brendon raises one eyebrow in question, “I am guessing better than you are at the moment. Are you okay, Ry?”
Spencer smiles at Brendon, rolling his eyes as he watches the proverbial light bulb brighten in the singers head. Spencer gives him a small nod and Brendon’s eyes suddenly go wide. A nervous smile appears as he bites his bottom lip anxiously. It’s not as if he and Spencer haven’t talked about this’ -they have; and rather extensively at that. Brendon had sobbingly confessed to him on tour just how much he really wanted to be with Ryan, but Ryan seemed like he didn’t want anything to do with him. Spencer laughed and explained to him that ‘Ryan would come around eventually’ and ‘to give it some time’, so he did; albeit very impatiently. He just didn’t think it would have taken Ryan three whole months to get up the nerve to talk to him about it.
Spencer clears his throat, “I think I will leave you two alone for a while.” Ryan glares at him and Spencer leaves the two of them standing on the porch not saying a word. Awkward silence surrounds them for at least a full minute before Brendon suggests that they sit down because Ryan looks like he is going to pass out. As Ryan sits, taking a few deep breaths, Brendon’s lip turns up into a small smirk as he thinks that Ryan being this nervous around him is possibly the most adorable thing he has ever seen in his life.
“Hey, Ry?” Trying to make his voice as soft as possible. Ryan turns and before he can say anything, Brendon pulls him in and kisses him, hard and bruising. Ryan’s warm, wet flesh sliding against his as he deepens kiss just a bit and Ryan allows his tongue to sweep past his lips. Ryan emits a small whimper, but it’s definitely not in protest. Ryan tilts his head and brings his hand to the back of Brendon’s head, carding his fingers through the short black hair on the back of Brendon’s neck, Brendon melting into his touch. They stay like that kissing and fingers roaming for a few more minutes before Brendon pulls away from Ryan, breathless and panting.
“So, I just kinda went for it. That’s- that’s alright, right?” Brendon asks, hoping that he hasn’t overstepped any of Ryan’s boundaries.
“No-” Ryan says, obviously dazed.
Brendon’s heart sinks, “No? Shit, Ry I am so-”
Ryan shakes his head and smiles placing his hand on Brendon’s chest, “No,” He says with a laugh, “I meant like no, it’s okay that you did. I am glad you did.”
Brendon lets out a breath and smacks Ryan lightly on the arm. “ Yeah? Fuck, you scared the shit out me!”
“Sorry.” Ryan says looking away from Brendon.
“It’s alright, Ry. So, are we doing this then?” Their eye’s lock, Ryan stays quiet for a few seconds as if in thought and Brendon’s heart begins to race.
“Yeah,” Ryan Beams. “Yeah, I think we are.”
Brendon reaches out for Ryan pulling him closer and holding him tightly, “I was hoping you would say that.”
