#emotion overflow

[specterofthepast]

So I saw bae 3 times today. 2 times we talked, other we didn't because it was brief. That's crazy. Too much feelings. Having intense roller coaster feelings suck. I haven't had this hard of crush feelings in a long time, I don't know how to deal with it.

[thewayishineliketruth-blog-blog]

A Letter to That Somebody I Used to Call 'I Love You'

J,

Hey. I know you're busy and everything so I didn't bother asking how you've been. Nonetheless, I hope you'd take this time to read what I have to say. After all these months we haven't gotten the chance to talk much lately, don't you think? And this gap in space and time has given me the chance to stop my flustering and tell you things straight ahead.

I like you; I never stopped since high school, and it's so much more complicated than it was before. Then and now I keep on thinking about the what-ifs. And how wrong and 'too late' it is to tell you now, after, what, 3, 4 years? Well. I did tell you that I used to like you, but I guess I never got the same courage to admit that I still do. 

For what it's worth, let me tell you as well that I'm hurt by this...this indifference, this distance that parted us since that last phone call. We never got to tie the loose ends again, did we? I thought it's for the best, but after some time, I realized that I was on the losing end, and the 'distance' didn't console me so much as I thought it would. But well. Look at you, all happy and cuddly with your new friends. Friends who probably treat you better than your old friends used to, your old friends who never do anything better than bully you and make you feel inferior just because you're somewhat different.

When I think about it, we, I probably deserve this cold treatment, for taking you too much for granted. For always thinking you'd be there, just like your promise before we went to college. But, then again. Who knows what awaits us in college. We're so caught up in what's in front of us that we began to forget what we used to have behind. Now wouldn't you agree with me that you're better off not having such a friend as me?

Even if I know you'd just brush off my apology and say "It's nothing," let me still say it. I'm sorry. For what I did. For not standing up for you when I had every chance to. For being the childish one in the friendship. For this very misplaced affection.

I don't want to tear us completely apart. You know how utterly scared I am at establishing friendships with guys, and you're one of the very few I succeeded in doing so. But if it's just not gonna work for us anymore, even at the least bit being the good friends we used to, then I guess the choice is no longer mine.

-P.

[going-nowhere-but-forward]

You may not have noticed, but when I saw your face on Skype tonight, it made me so happy and even now I'm tearing up for the same reason I do when we're laying together all happily. I'd do anything to see you, and to be there with you, because I can truly say, being happy has never felt so great until I met you. 

If you ever get to reading this, dear, I love you so much €€€€€€€€€€€

[everydaymishaps]

hearing anything that resembles the pajama game gives me chills and chokes me up

[littlenotesdemi]

Emotion Overflow...

I had forgot how it felt not to have a good morning txt waiting for you as you wake up. It sucks. There's nothing more special to a girl than getting one of those. I mean, they set up your mood for the day. I always would get the biggest smile ever. The last one I got I really liked..See, I couldn't be mad at him. But idk what went wrong :( I should've just stayed quiet and things wouldn't be the way they are right now. But it's not fair to keep things in. I really never wanted to make a big deal out of it. Anyways, morning txt or good night txt, Watever it is...I miss them. I wonder if you feel the same? Foolish thought, of course you don't...

[littlenotesdemi]

So here's the deal oh what's going though my head right now...

I'm upset. Upset that you didn't let me prove to you that things get better. One fight and that's all it took. It wasn't even that bad, I mean people fight. THERE IS NO PERFECT COUPLE! Why can't you understand that? And honestly, I'm hurt. Because if people who live miles away make shit work, why couldn't we? It's not hard. I honestly feel like I've done a great job at fixing shit that went wrong before. I mean with all honesty, why the hell did you make me get my hopes up for like 3 fucking weeks? WHY. Your feelins weren't clear, didn't mean you can go fucking up mine. So here to you, and the love we once had, I'm seriously DONE this time.