"Hey, Caterpillar? You ok?"
The little purple Kwami asked, gently floating closer to the silent tean as he stared off into space.
"huh? Oh, hey Nooroo. Yeah... I am I-" Adrien shook his head and sighed, his posture slumping for a moment before Nooroo landed gently on his shoulder and he assumed a more normal sitting position to stop the little Kwami from sliding off.
"No. No I'm not ok, buddy. Sorry, I'm so used to smiling and saying "Yeah! I'm fine!" And keeping it all in. It's... It's an adjustment, having somebody I can finally be honest with, you know? Thanks for being patient with me while I figure it out."
"Oh, but of course! You don't have to explain anything Adrien, I get it. After all, I may not have been allowed to let you see me, but I was in this house for years before you ever knew about me. I know what "normal" used to look like for you. How bad it was."
Nooroo actually pouted at that thought for a moment before perking up.
"But that's over now. This place might be the same house it always was, but it's now a very different home. Miss Nathalie and I will make sure of it, even if she doesn't know I'm still here."
Adrien gave Nooroo a tired smile in gratitude and gently patted Nooroo on the head.
"Thanks, bud. It really helps to hear that."
The air was silent for a time after that, both just sitting there, thinking. Until finally, Nooroo broke the silence.
"You know, it might help to talk about what's bothering you."
"Am I that obvious?"
"I'm one half of the physical embodiment of Emotions, Caterpillar. And you're a hormonal teenager. I could taste your feelings from three kilometers away, let alone see and feel them."
Adrien sighed again, and gave Nooroo a wan smile.
"Fair enough..." He paused for a moment, rallying his thoughts, before he spoke "What's bothering me is that I am realizing, for the first time, exactly how much I do not know about people, Nooroo. I knew I was missing pieces of stuff, all those developmental psychology books I downloaded under dads nose made it clear that keeping me shuttered up in the house for so long was gonna mess me up, but I never truly knew how much I couldn't even comprehend until Dad died.
"And that was just, like, what I learned from actually going to school for the first time! Just that first week I learned so much so fast, I saw so many things I still don't fully understand the full implications. And that was just me, on my own!
"And now it's even crazier because I have you, and I'm constantly feeling the underlying thrum of emotions around me, and I thought that would make it better? Actually seeing and feeling what other people experience? But it made it all so much more confusing!
"Why is this girl smiling, but her emotions are a wreck? Why is this guy yelling angrily but actually feeling elated under a thin veil of anger? Why are so many people hiding contempt, rage, pain, despair, and even joy wrapped up so deep in there chests like a pressure cooker waiting to blow?"
Adrien took a deep breath, and then let it out.
"And it's so terrifying and overwhelming, but also so beautiful? Because despite all the pain and the negative feelings, all it takes is one little dog of happiness in a sea of gloom to start banishing the shadows. A sweet smile, a babies laugh, somebodies excited exclamation at a cute dog walking by, and suddenly the whole world lights up like new years fireworks....
"I'm so confused and lost so often Nooroo. Like a ship that went from stranded at sea for a decade that now has too many ports to choose from. I don't even know how to start in this knew stage of my life. Especially because when I should be asking myself who I want to spend time with, or what hobbies I wanna try, I find myself wondering about way deeper stuff.....
"The biggest being.... How the hell did dad see all of this and do what he did? How can you see this web of emotions and how it connects every single one of us to each other and... And pervert it like that??? How could hate overwhelm compassion when you can see the power it has on a daily basis?"
Nooroo flew close to Adrien's face and wiped the single tear dripping down his cheek away with his tiny purple hand.
"Because he didn't see it all, my precious caterpillar. This ability of yours that lasts outside transformation, that stays with you as long you wear your miraculous? He never had it."
"why not?" Adrien snuffled slightly.
"Well, for one thing, Gabriel Agreste was an emotionally constipated stubborn ass who didn't care about anyone's feelings but his own."
Adrien snorted at the accuracy of that description before he could stop himself.
"But also, because Gabriel was a normal, regular boring human. And you are a child of the Peacock Miraculous. Your born of emotion, Adrien. Your entire being is raw feelings. You are a creation of the miraculous of Intrapersonal emotion wielding the miraculous of interpersonal emotion. You are, in every way, the most compatible wielder I have ever had.
"You may not have many emotional connections yet, but those you do have are strong as steel. You might not know much about other people, but your natural empathy and emotional intelligence is gobsmackingly high. Not just for someone whose been isolated as long as you have, I mean in general.
"You are a sweet, kind, compassionate boy who cares so much for people he barely knows that I physically hurts you. You are literally everything I have ever dreamed of in a holder, minus the loneliness, of course, but that can be fixed with time and experience. With all that added up, is it really so shocking that you can do things your father, or any other wielder, never could?"
Adrien just stuttered for a moment.
"I-well- that is..." He cleared his throat "....I suppose not?"
Nooroo nodded curtly.
"Exactly. Especially considering your just as much Dusuu and my child as you are dearest Emile's, and even more mine than you were Gabe's."
"Wait, what?"
"No matter! Come with me little caterpillar! It sounds like what you need is a real friend! A confidant we can trust with everything that you can vent too, and ask for guidance! Things are always easier to handle as a team, after all! A problem shared is a burden halved, and all that!" Nooroo said, flying behind him and pushing on his back to make him move forward, not actually moving him of course, but surprising him enough to get him walking.
"Wait, Nooroo! Who can I even trust with all this? I barely know anybody!"
"Don't worry! We'll be making new friends today!"
"But how will I know I can trust them?"
"You're basically the most powerful empath in the world now, silly Caterpillar! You'll figure it out!"
And with that, Adrien stumbled out of his room as Nooroo zipped into his shirt pocket, now off to look for a new friend/confidant/partner in crime.
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This is the second big blurb of my Aftermath/Metamorphosis AU featuring a butterfly! Adrien post season 5 finale in a world where he was never cat Noire and never went to school. After Gabe's death he's trying to redeem his father's use of the butterfly as the villain/antihero Metamorphosis. Masterlist is pinned on my blog!