im gonna just rant, you can read i don’t care. I’ll probably delete later.
I feel really empty right now, so might get a bit weird. I spent all of my spring break at my dear friends house, but I’m not sure i made the right call. it’s really bothering me, cause i feel like i wasted my last spring break with her. we spent most of it watching bob’s burgers. motherfucking bob’s burgers on netflix, we finished all five seasons. She likes the show, i don’t mind it, but i hate being stuck in a house all day, doing jack shit, i do that on a regular basis, but no. I spent my entire spring break doing jack shit. I didn’t do anything. I wanted to spend time with my other friends, but she is kinda a priority to me, I care about her alot, and if she wants to spend time with her, she’s all i care about.. I know it’s not healthy, but I love her, even if she doesn’t feel the same.. but I still wanted to do stuff with my spring break, but it’s saturday night and i feel like i failed myself.. like i wasted an entire week of my life that i could have spent with maybe a little bit more interest than netflix and sitting around doing jack shit and dicking around on our phones. I feel useless, and just really bad right now.. I want a hug, and maybe a stiff drink.. both... I can’t even cry, or get to sleep. i hate myself. why do i even bother trying to have fun.. i’m just a person destined to become like my parents.. fat, lazy, unable to leave the goddamn house, unable to interact with other humans, or just an annoying pest.. why did i live this long?? i didn’t plan to make it to my 20′s, i’m not there yet though, there’s still the rest of this year, maybe things will change, but do they really ever? why am i even here.. just take me and use me, that would feel better than this..
