Sep 3, 2019
I avoided tumblr for days because I ate like shit.
♡local fat bitch at it again ♡
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I avoided tumblr for days because I ate like shit.
♡local fat bitch at it again ♡
I know i should get out of this again before it gets bad.
The thought of purging and taking laxatives crosses my mind a lot already.
Rationally i know that the euphoria i feel from not eating and the control i feel from saying 'No' to food is just pushing me deeper down the rabbit hole.
But we can save all the 'ah haa' moments for therapy.
I still have weight to lose. And control to regain.
Only 5 hours left in my second 24 hour fast. My goal was to do two 24 hour fasts in may.
I can do this. The hardest part is going to be the 2.5-3 hours I'm home after work before Jae gets home.
Supposed to weigh in today but i had Chinese food last night and i know I'm bloated so I'm pretending the scale is broken until tomorrow morning.
I'M SO TIRED OF HIDING MY BODY IN LEGGINGS BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE A STUFFED SAUSAGE IN JEANS!
Heres to hoping chugging this diet mountain dew will stop me from bingingg
Feeling so so unloved today. Yesterday was my anniversary and i feel like my husband barely acknowledged it. I've spwnt way too much time in my own head.
Due to stress I am falling into old eating habits.
My car blew its heads (this will be my fourth car in four years 😒)
This is making it incredibly hard for me to be active, as my best friend lives an hour away from me, and i find it hard to go hiking alone or be active outaide bc of my anxiety.
it's stressing me out because i have no money to buy a new car at the moment which i need for work.
So yesterday i had a super healthy day (sarcasm) i had pringles for breakfast. Coffee for lunch. And A WHOLE FRICKING CHICKEN FOR DINNER and a big ass bowl of fruit.
I weighed in this morning and it has me up 1.6lbs from last week 😩 i know its probably just bloat but fuck i hate it.
So i ate breakfast today and had three coffees for lunch/dinner. I'm going to try to fast 24 hours to see if it helps shake off some water weight.