A Shit Day
So I am one of the many people with PTSD and sometimes, the day is just shit. I am jumpy as fuck, constantly thinking someone is behind me. Barely made it through training, don't remember how or when I got there today. It has been one long day of reoccurring flash backs, and feeling like my chest was going to explode.
I haven't been to therapy for a while now because I am working and don't have time to go. Sometimes I feel as if I am not strong enough to handle the challenges that are in front of me, yet I know I am. If I am able to retain a job is questionable at best. I try but always seem to find something about them that I don't like. However, the job I am at now seems very cool and very good. The trainer today saw I was struggling and asked me if I was ok. This is one of the best places I have worked since being diagnosed with PTSD. The stuff I see if a bit triggering, but I look at it from the standpoint of I see it so no one else has to.
Right now I am just laying in bed waiting for my medication to kick in and hopefully put me down. I haven't slept well in about a week, so I am well overdue.