#ptsdlife

[psychocitysblog]

I wake up everyday just waiting to go back to bed.

[nmolesofadrenaline]

[nemosopenletters-blog]

The guilt that comes from being a SA survivor and your partner still wanting you to do things you know you can't do for them.

Im too broken to be desirable.

[callingcrows]

[unspokenwordsbyhb]

[nyxiswrites1200]

Leon Kennedy Headcanons SFW

It's time to show how delusion I am about Leon Kennedy 🥰 This just my opinion but if you have any other ideas or headcanons I'd love to hear about them in the comments 🩷

Warnings: Leon Lore spoils, mentions of trauma/PTSD/insecurity. This is all my own opinion.

• We all know Leon has some serious trauma and PTSD from his job. If you were good friends with him or his lover, then he'd definitely be more vulnerable around you. There'd probably be moments where you'd see him be so gentle or break down but he never shows how much he's hurting in front of anyone else.

• Leon seems like the guy who would snuggle into your chest after a rough nightmare and just wants to cuddle. If RE2 Leon is anything to think about, he's definitely a softie at heart.

• Leon would probably try to avoid dating anyone in the first place. He feels his job is too dangerous and wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. He wouldn't want his lover to mourn or worry about him if something bad were to happen to Leon. He avoids romance or pushes the feelings away before they can become anything more.

• Don't be mistaken, Leon really wants love. With the way his life has been he craves to be that important to someone but he's also so used to going without it that he's learned to not expect it in his life.

• Leon also seems like he's the type who maybe has some insecurities. Seeing so many people in his life die has caused him to feel like he's not strong enough or not good enough. He works harder so he can save people but sometimes feels it's all pointless.

-----Now to get a little fluffy 🥺-----

• Dating Leon wouldn't be the easiest thing. He has a lot of unresolved traumas and a dangerous job. But depending on your perspective, it would be worth it.

• He would care for you deeply and do anything to protect you. If you loved Leon despite everything he's been through, he would love you more than anything else. He would cherish you and always make sure you're okay.

• Leon would probably worry that he burdens you but reassuring him is key. He would need your words of comfort to make him realize how much you care about him and that he's not any kind of burden to you.

• Leon would be a gentle lover, I think considering how much he's been through. He would want something soft and simple, that makes him forget about the struggles of his life and the reality of it all.

• Sometimes Leon stresses himself out and feels the weight of everything on him a little more than other days. Your touch and words are comforting to him. He'd want to be close to you during these times but would have trouble asking for it.

• I think Leon would have an anxious attachment style. Considering he never received the love and attention of parents through his childhood and that continued through his life. Plus he's been put through dangerous missions and training as well. He hasn't gotten the emotional growth that he probably needs. He struggles to try and ask you for things and needs a lot of reassurance and would never turn down a comforting hug or hand holding.

• But a relationship with Leon wouldn't be unfair. He'd comfort you and reassure you just as much as you do him. He loves you and would do anything to keep you happy and safe. He would work with your attachment styles and love languages to make you happy.

• Leon would come to you just to kiss you or hug you simply because he was thinking about you. But he only does this when you're alone, he doesn't really like publicly displaying himself as vulnerable.

• When Leon leaves for missions for his job, he'll often tell you that he will always come back because you're waiting for him. This is to reassure you but he truly does mean it.

• Probably one of the only people to know you two are dating would be Ashley. Leon would tell her or she'd probably walk in on you two kissing or something. Leon wouldn't really flaunt his relationship with you, but he wouldn't be scared to admit he loves you if someone asked.

[bluebird-poetry96]

8/8/24  10:44am

The disbelief that he is 7 now.

My heart breaks knowing I had to leave the kids in that place...

I beg;

I pray to the Universe, he is doing okay, that he's in a living in a better place.

Pray that he's out of that household-

With a mom on drugs; with an emotionally and physically abusive boyfriend.

A mentally deranged boyfriend;

Mentally unstable and absent mother.

The trauma inflicted upon those children is

Unforgivable.

I made mistakes that I will,

Always. Regret.

I tried so hard to help.

So hard that they he started calling me mom.

So hard that I didn't have time or energy to shower, For Months.

So hard that my mental health took a turned for the worse- getting Furious over the smallest thing,

Including the children

When they were just being children.

So hard I couldn't take it anymore, I tried to kill myself- again.

When I think about it, I can't breathe.

I pray they are doing okay and living good lives, without abuse, without having to know the word Trauma.

But I know, the trauma has seeped into their souls,

They'll be right where I am.

Involved in trauma groups,

Inpatient hospitalizations,

Flashbacks years after all this, into their adulthood,

Hopelessness encompassing their mind,

Possible attempts, on their lives,

By there own hands.

I have major regrets.

Nothing I can do now, except worry, hoping, they are safe.

-Raven Blue Bell

[sleepyeye17]

Executive dysfunction is strong this week, so I wrote a little fic about it.

“Three… two… one… GO!”

Eddie looks up from his comic. Steve is cross legged on his sofa, his eyes bulging, his forehead creased with frustration.

“GO!” Steve shouts again.

“Hey Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on?”

“I want to shower.”

“Uh huh. Okay. Go ahead.”

“I can’t.”

Steve’s hands are in fists, and he’s biting his lip. Eddie knows the doctor mentioned this before, and he tries to remember what it was.

“Is this what the doctor said?” Eddie asks. “With your… frontal lobe?”

Steve shuts his eyes.

“Executive dysfunction. Yeah.”

“So you want to do something, but you can’t.”

“Right.” Steve drums his fists on his knees. “I’ve always been this way, but now it’s so much worse. And usually counting down helps, but this week it’s just been really bad.”

“Is it like…” Eddie tries to think of an analogy. “Sometimes I feel like I’m standing on a diving board and I want to jump off, but my body doesn’t let me. But it’ll be, like… doing the dishes instead of a diving board. Or whatever.”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s exactly how it is!” Steve throws his head back and groans. “I feel like such an idiot, you know? Like, I want to shower. I really do want to. But I can’t make my body do it.”

Eddie stares at Steve, thinking. Then he stands up and moves to the radio. He picks out a tape and sticks it in. 

As soon as the beat starts, Steve grins and rolls his eyes.

“Seriously?” 

Eddie starts shaking his hips and singing along.

“Humidity is rising… 

Barometer's getting low…”

He holds his hands out to Steve, but Steve shakes his head.

“No way.”

“According to all sources…

The street's the place to go…”

“You don’t even like the top forty!”

“'Cause tonight for the first time

Just about half-past ten

For the first time in history…”

Eddie throws his head back and slams on an imaginary guitar.

“IT’S GONNA START RAININ’ MEN!”

Eddie drags Steve up by the wrists, and they’re both laughing too hard to sing along.

It's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, amen

Eddie puts his hands on Steve’s hips and Steve wraps his arms around Eddie’s neck and they dance, still a little stiff and awkward from their injuries, shaking with giggles. Steve barely even notices that Eddie is leading them backwards, down the hall.

It's raining men, every specimen

Tall, blonde, dark and lean

Rough and tough and strong and mean

Eddie kicks the bathroom door open behind him, then steps them both in. He plants a kiss on Steve’s forehead.

“Behold,” he says, a little breathless. “Your shower awaits.”