Nonbinary week 2020
I'm already a day late lol
Day 1 (July 12): Introductions
Share whatever you want about yourself, pronouns, labels, what nonbinary means to you etc.
Hi, I'm Noah! My pronouns are they/them in English and I use no pronouns in languages that don't have a genderneutral option (meaning that instead of saying she or he one simply says my name) - this is necessary because my mother tongue (German) doesn’t have genderneutral pronouns.
The main label I use is "nonbinary" and sometimes "trans", however I'm thinking that I may be genderfluid? But I'm not sure yet so for the time being, I'll stick to nonbinary.
Being nonbinary means to me that I'm neither a girl, nor a boy. But I don't think I'm agender - I feel like I definitely have a gender, but it's different from male or female. It doesn't fit into these two boxes. It's confusing sometimes. Sometimes I think I'm masculine aligned, sometimes I think I'm not. Sometimes I question my whole gender. I think I still have a road of discovery ahead of me :)
Day 2 (July 13): Coming to terms
This day is for coming out stories and how you realised you were nonbinary.
Well, realizing I'm nonbinary has been a process. I remember being 18 and still living with my parents, trying to bind my chest without knowing why I was doing it. After moving out, which was a couple months later, I started questioning my gender A LOT. I felt dysphoric about various parts of my body, especially my chest, my (then) long hair, my high voice. Around this time I told my roommate that I may not be a girl - I was so scared of admitting this. Her reaction was great and she's been very supportive ever since. I began to experiment with my appearance, tried binding my chest with sports bras, hid my hair under beanies, etc. I realized that this felt right. The more I moved away from being stereotypically female, the more at ease I felt with myself (I know that gender doesn’t always equal appearance, but for me it plays a role). I started telling more people about it and I received positive feedback. Somewhere in this process I also cut my hair (and dyed it blue, lol).
Also, I've identified less and less with being a woman. I've also felt a growing disconnect to my birth name, which is very feminine. Therefore, I first asked my roommate to refer to me as Noah and I slowly asked everyone of my friends. Yeah, this is were I'm at now - I still experience a great deal of gender dysphoria but it's gotten a bit better!
This is a very shortened version of my coming to terms/coming out story.