#endingfriendship

[southpoleelf76]

Mother Knows Best

After talking to my mom about my friend not saying thank you. It went like this:

Mom: “Are you sure he got it? Maybe should text him & ask. Nothing wrong with shaming him into saying thank you.”

Me: “I’m sure he got it. I’m not shaming him into saying thank you. Either he wants to say thank you or he doesn’t. I don’t shame.”

After a time I realized I should text him & ask if he got it. Because she had a point about that maybe he didn’t. I’ve heard of things going missing from people’s drawers at work. I decided with hands shaking, feeling uncomfortable & feeling like it was a cry of desperation I begrudgingly did it.

He responded quickly with “Sorry, yes I did. I didn’t have time to email you yet but hopefully I will have time tonight. Thank you very, very much.” I said, “You’re welcome. No biggie. Just wanted to make sure you got it.”

I’m still kind of shaky & uncomfortable & above all definitely feeling like it was a cry for desperation. Now, he’s saying he’s going to email me about the note. Smh. No all I wanted was a thank you. I don’t need an email. I frankly don’t care if he actually emails me about it or not. I was accepting the way it was heading minus the cutting him out part. There is nothing that really needs to be said which I am fine with. What he says really isn’t going to really matter one away or another I’m still putting the friendship on the back burner. If thinks I’m ending I’ll try to correct that misunderstanding but if I can’t it’s fine. Although given the way I am now I’m going to wonder what his email is going to say. If he remembers to send one at all. Smh. Ugh.

[natshank]

That dangler "friend"

I have a dangler.

Do you?

It's one of those barely-consider-an-acquaintance-faux-friends that you just can't cut off.

You may be a dangler for someone else. Here's what I do to danglers:

#1. The "so busy" routine Does this person never show up to any of your events and cites being busy, but never really says why?

This is what they REALLY are doing:

#2. When you do talk, the amount of private information they reveal is next to nothing You may be sitting there gushing about the fourth kidney stone you passed, and the other person is responding with generic enthusiasm. 

#3. You realize, that if you do manage to talk to them, it's because of coincidence If catching them on an elevator, spotting them at the mall, or bumping into them when you're in a restaurant is the catalyst for ANY interaction

#4. IF AT ANY POINT, you think they actually HID from you when they saw you This is real. I have really, actually hid from a dangler.

#5. Their voice, jumps to a loud falsetto (altogether high pitched) when they first chat with you That means they are turning the fake ON.

BUT WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WITH THIS YOU SAY?

(This is what my guy asks me quite frequently actually)

I DON'T KNOW.

So, I turn to my least dramatic bestie and inquire: WTF do I do about [insert dangler's name here] - including the option of cutting the dangler off altogether.

Her response:

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DOING.

According to her, girls apparently think that if we confront the situation, we'll look like the dramatic b-word. Instead of the dangler, who, MORE LIKELY, did something consistently stupid which is why they were demoted to dangler status in the FIRST PLACE.

So, what? My fake smiles, voice, and tip-toeing around HAS TO CONTINUE? I JUST CAN'T!!!

First of all, having a dangler is evil. It shows that girls have some obscure self-preservation mechanism that means they would rather not appear as a b-word and instead go through all this acting (WHICH IS MORE WORK!!!).

But, I mean even I've argued it's only work when I see the dangler - so, ultimately it's not a whole lot, I just live in fear. 

Yea. That's normal.

GIRLS MAKE NO SENSE. I MAKE NO SENSE.

This is all I have concluded.

[thecrackonmycup]

The Crack on my Cup

So I have this favorite coffee cup I've been using for oh...more than 2 years, maybe almost 3 years now. I noticed this morning that it has a hairline crack on its side. It's not bad, my coffee doesn't seep through this crack, it's barely even noticeable. But it's there. I know I can't fix it. So what should I do? Do I ignore the crack and continue to enjoy my coffee in this cup? What if the crack gets worse? What if I see more cracks in the near future? Or maybe I should just stop using this cup. I don't think it's wise to throw it away. After all, I've used it countless times to enjoy my coffee. I've had good memories associated with this cup. So this afternoon, I've made my decision. I am going to stop using the cup, put it in the cupboard and try to forget about it. But I know every time I open the cupboard door and see the cup, I will remember the good times I've had using this cup but I will also see the crack on its side, reminding me that it's not a very good quality cup in the first place.