Setting up boundaries through aggression and health protection
The previous post re subduing emotions gave rise to a vivid discussion with ambiguous interpretations. @ Ekaterina Spiridonova deeply felt what the topic was about and precisely described all this:"...there are two extremes: one can simply endure and accumulate negative feelings, or vice versa try to defend oneself in a quite aggressive way, bursting out with negativity. But there is something in between: one can calmly and firmly defend oneself, not offending others and at the same time not resorting to negativity. But you’ve got to go to extremes in order to achieve this state: when you’ve got used to endure for the whole life you learn to defend yourself through aggression. Only when you get through this experience, you’ll be able to find a middle ground, that is a calm solid protection. As soon as it happens, you’ll start respecting yourself and the others around you". Constructively, consciously and practically said.
For sure, this is the topic of setting up personal boundaries and arousing self-esteem. If you got used to endure silently and put up with everything from the very beginning (in childhood, at school, at the university, etc) you’ll have to get out of this self-confidence-absence hole through aggression when you’re finally allowed to speak out. If you try to make everyone happy and pleased -- you will be dragged back. Don’t restrain yourself! Better apologize later if it turns out you were wrong. In case you haven’t given way to all the negativity, do cry over the spilt milk, it’s some use. Popular proverbs weren’t based on psychosomatics!
Proactivity and positive perception are probably important topics for studying, but they can be useful later. If you are an “endurer” and can’t get out of this state, just hear it, realize, remember, write it down, make a tattoo: ⚡ while you are keeping it to yourself you aren’t just feeling sad, you’re voluntarily DESTROYING YOUR ORGANISM on a physical level. ⠀ PS: Thanks for the extraordinary pints of view @ Victoria Petrukhina @ Nina Shurykina @ Pavel Danilov @ Ekaterina Spiridonova
Translated by Irina Zaitseva