#eng105

[broken-hangers]

Stuck In Transition

College is not what I thought it would be like.

No, its not scary.

Finances: I'm not worried about that. Even though I'm not sure how I got Fafsa because I can't do it again because neither of my parents have a social security number, and its required for fafsa, but because they are illegal Mexican immigrants, I can’t just jot down a social security number that doesn't exist for federal aid, and i'm stuck because something in me is concerned for their safety. Always thinking that any one little step can expose them to deportation. But that's not what i'm worried about.

My housing is off campus with two other roommates; Roxanna and Alfred. Alfred was supposed to start college next semester and Roxanna attended NAU with me, and we were supposed to renew our lease for the next four years. Supposed to; past tense. Because Roxanna dropped out and cried for half an hour because she missed her family then realized that “there is nothing for her here” because all she did was work and go home, so now after the lease is over she's going to move back to phoenix and go to community college there, and Alfred is following her because they’re dating and he's “chilling”, which means that I need to find a new place to live because i can’t afford a 2bed 2bath on my own and the only other couple i know that would’ve been down said no. Every studio and 1 bedroom apartment is so expensive and i'm uncomfortable with sharing a room with someone because i've never done that before and my personal space is vital to my survival. But that's not what i'm worried about.

My classes? It's all on the syllabus, unless the professor adds something new last minute, and I forgot to write it down in my planner so now i'm behind in a class and have 4 zeros for 4 different assignments because I forgot. Or because I didn't check the syllabus. It's not like high school where they remind you when due dates are approaching, where they introduce your projects and make sure you understand completely, where they all know your name, and where you know that they'll tell you something when you're missing something. So i'm falling behind on some of my classes because I cant keep track, and when I do, I don't finish on time because I lack motivation to do it or because I can't keep my mind together long enough. But that's not what i'm worried about.

Friends. I know some peoples’ names. I'll say hi when I see you on the bus, or run into you at the restroom, i'll ask you about the class, we’ll have some conversation, but I won't call you when I’m stressed. I won't vent because you're not that kind of friend, you know? That’s on me and my trust issues, but point is, I need that here, because even back home I only had 3 people like that, and two are cousins. But they're all at home. Making friends is hard. Inserting yourself into a group is hard. Don't feel pity, because that not what I want, actually it’s the last thing I want. I just don't really have a social life. But that's not what i'm worried about.

Do you see my problem? My problem is that i'm not worrying. Im worried about it. Im overwhelmed by everything attacking my peace of mind, it's kind of like a war in my head, except I don’t know what its over, I have no control over it, not even my reaction. or lack thereof. As a First Gen student, I don't have anybody to ask for comforting advice. Yes, I know, school resources. I've tried, but its not comforting because they just send me somewhere else, and i'm tired of chasing down a piece of advice, so i took a break, sat down, and wrote this.

I don’t know what I need, or what I’m doing, or how to fix things that I broke, but I’ll be alright.

No, i'm not scared.

College just isn't what I thought it was.

[zynischx]

presentation: common core

Throughout the presentation, i loved how the presenter was able to show and demonstrate how common core is a failed practiced. The idea of common core is brilliant but the way the board of education is implementing it is unbearable. 

[zynischx]

Presentation: media and the pressure

 Throughout the presentation, the presenter mentioned how the media impacts society in both positive and negative ways. She mentions how the media often criticized celebrities, especially females, on their appearance. They spend so much time writing on how a celebrity is too thin or too thick or too promiscuous instead of talking or informing people about real important events.  

[zynischx]

Citizen

Throughout the text, the author talks about many different experiences faced by minorities, particularly black people, in america. The book is constructed in a journal like entry, with each narrative talking about an experience, dealing with racism, discrimination, or prejudice. For example, on page 15, the neighbors called the cops on a black gentleman who turned out to be friends with the people, whose house he was in front of. She describes stories, that many people of color can relate to. Even though some of the stories are not full out racist, they show the daily struggles people of color have to face. 

[zynischx]

Selfcare as warfare

Throughout the article, the author states that taking care of yourself is more like a political act than a self care act. She states, that in order to survive you have to give up your happiness. She describes the battle of racism by comparing it to cancer. She states that fighting against both these things is a very hard and painful process. She talks about privilege, and how women and minorities have to work twice as hard in order to be recognised in society,, and even then, they are still criticised and face many hardships unlike most men( particularly white men). She as well says privilege is a buffer zone and you shouldn’t feel vulnerable. I disagree with this statement because having privilege allows you and gives you more of a chance and opportunity than those who don’t have privilege. You have a better chance of life than those who don’t. She mentions that in society, apparently, being in a gay relationship and losing that partner isnt as important than being in a heterosexual relationship and losing your wife or husband.

[zynischx]

Daniel Coffeen “making sense of images”

Coffeen describes images as more than just pictures.He starts off the article describing and critiquing pictures he sees in a magazine. He states that he doesnt know how to read or understand images because throughout the educational system you arent taught to engage with an image, to feel, and to actually understand what is happening, you are simply taught how to look and classify. Coffeen argues that understanding and reading the image helps you understand the world better. He states that understanding an image allows how to understand and see things better in the world than people who dont. Even though his ideology is uncanny, it does make sense and I very much agree. Understanding and reading an image allows you to see past the lines and colors, and allows you to expand your mind. 

[zynischx]

ENG 105

Judith Butler’s the power of mourning and violence was very purposeful. She wrote these essays after the attacks of 9/11, showing how during tragedies, when people are vulnerable and afraid, they unit more. Throughout the essays she explains and focuses on how vulnerability, mourning, and politics are “a finding basis for community.” She contradicts herself in many ways. Stating that those related to the attackers, through religion, ethnicity etc.., should not feel loss or mourn, and that United states has every right to go to war with them. But on the other hand she also says that even though we were attacked we should not retaliate but instead become aware that our lives are anonymously affected by the actions of others. She also explains how the main media tries to dehumanize Arabic people by showing how their lives are less meaningful compared to americans. 

[zynischx]

Seven americans death and disasters

The JFK text was very ironic because of the way his assassination was being announced through KLIF, a radio station.The content starts with an AD compared to the TWC, which started right as soon as the attacks began. Throughout the broadcasting, which felt continuous, there were many interruptions such as cheerful songs (The chiffons i have a boyfriend) and an ad to buy beer. Reports were mixed and unorganized as well as people were hesitant Unlike the TWC, which was straight forward, to the point, and organized. Both events have impacted the nation, dramatically changing America’s attitude and concerns.