Controversial story that I’m scared to post, but fuck it. This is my blog, I can post whatever.
I’ve either had a delusional episode or physically shifted. This was give or take four years ago now, but I still recall most of it.
It was when I was first formed as an alter. I’d dragged my new friend to the woods for the full moon. I remember the transformation being uncomfortable, but not particularly painful. I was shaking and twitching, stumbling through the very small area of trees. Growling and grunting uncontrollably.
I think I did see the changes. I usually don’t, unless only in my mind’s eye. My friend was walking ahead of me and I don’t think he looked back. That being said, I can’t say if my changes were physical or just my mind playing tricks on me in the dark.
I also remember seeing myself in third person at one point, fully shifted. Which is strange, because usually I only see memories in third person. This was in real time. That leads me to believe it was more so a delusion.
But I can’t say for sure. I’ve never had another experience like it, either, no matter how hard I’ve tried.
The signs could point either way, honestly. Third person view points towards delusion, but some physical shifters have reported their shifts not being painful.
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Let me end this by saying that I don’t believe all physical shifter are scammers trying to sell you shifting information. Nor do I believe that they’re all mentally unwell. Do well to remember that physical identifying alterhumans and supernaturals paved the way for modern alterhumanity.
If you’re going to call me brainwashed or something for considering a physical shift as a possibility, please don’t waste your time.
I also don’t believe clinical zoanthropes are dangerous as a whole. Obviously there’s zoanthropes that haven’t gotten help if they need it, and thus are unwell mentally, but to say a whole group is “dangerous” just because of a disorder is sanist. If you believe all zoanthropes are a threat or that they should be excluded from alterhumanity or nonhumanity, stay off my page.
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I will be bringing this up to my therapist. I currently don’t have a psychiatrist/psychologist, as mine left the practice I go to, but once I find another and feel safe enough to do so, I’ll tell them, too. Obviously I don’t want to meet them and lead with that, before I know I won’t be immediately thrown into testing or a mental facility.
I’ve decided to reluctantly post to one tag from both groups, clinical lycanthropes and physical shifters, just in case anyone can relate. Not looking for a diagnosis, just seeing if someone out there has had a similar experience and can provide some insight.