#entry4

[dan1-the-g1rl]

Priority: None Cry, cry, cry. Cry baby. Cry all your emotions out, because once you're done you still feel just as absolute fucking shit as when you come back to the feeling that you don't mean as much as the person that mean the world to you. I just thought now after all this time I'd matter enough to be told 'i love you' before leaving, but maybe not I suppose. I asked to be in a different place, but I'm just in the same place with different people. Again this painful summer of waiting around for a message. Again wondering my own worth. Again with the unbearable angst and just unable to even breathe. No matter what I fucking do, I can't stop feeling this way. I can't stop feeling so shit for such stupid fucking reasons. I can't stop crying, I really can't stop wishing I was important. Wishing I wasn't easily forgetton, wondering if I'm better, maybe I'd be worth more. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I feel like I can almost always be there, but not have someone always available for me. Why should they be; I'm not worth enough to be anything more than a toy. I swear I was stronger, I swear I wasn't this way before. Why am I like this? I don't understand. Maybe it's love, maybe it's attachment. I can't get used to constant messaging, and then nothing at all. I wish I wasn't like this. I just feel like death. And yet I feel like I can't say anything. I just feel stupid. There's no way to forget, no remedy for my petulant pain. I'll only ever lie about my wellbeing. Insignificant emotions, insignificant girl. Sometimes I still wonder if there's a purpose for me at all. Push me away, I'm just forgotten. It's not like I need you. Not like I wish for you to tell me you love me like before.

Suffocated - Orianthi

[littlebitofeverythingphff]

Adalyn’s Diary Entry#4

Adalyn’s Diary Entry

[forgotten-huntress]

Entry 4.

When I have been told about the desert, my first reaction was apprehension. Maybe I was too much used to the Mountain and its everlasting freezing wind. (not to mention the mysteries there that I have yet to comprehend)

But I was wrong. I love the desert. The weather is even worse!

In all seriousness, the visits I've paid to this area woke weird sensations of déjà-vu inside of me. The burning sun, the large sandy plains, and the endemic Monsters...

Why does this place make me think like this? Is my instinct trying to tell me something? I'm pretty sure I've felt this before... Although I am unable to tell how exactly.

PS: My first Plesioth hunt went rather smoothly. Strange, looking at it I immediately had the feeling that it would be a very troublesome Monster... Maybe was it the size.

[bearicades]

There's no reality where I don't want to be best friends but I never want to feel like this.

[whoischelsea]

There’s no point in going backwards what’s past is in the past

There’s no point in going backwards what’s past is in the past.

[thepr1ncesthoughts]

Thoughts #4

There is nothing like her! She is no one I have ever seen. Her beauty, her kindness, her loving nature. There is nothing like her! I think I have found my soulmate. She is the kindest woman I have ever met. Her heart illuminates as she smiles to people in need. She doesn’t hesitate in lending a hand even she’s on the brink of collapsing. Her beauty surpasses everything I have seen in my life. The way her eyes squint when her lips shows that wonderful and majestic smile. It always captures me. The way she loves life affects me so that I would want to commit my whole life just to live with her. Right now, at this moment, there is nothing I want more is you. Even in parallel dimensions, different worlds, different time periods. I will still choose you, no matter what! My heart, my soul, my being will choose you. I want to be with you!

[spes-elpis]

4/11/2021 p1

so pretty much these first few entries will be a summary of what has gone on in my life since December 2020 to now. back to the icing on the cake that is misery. AppallingAsshole, my former uncle (former due to me cutting him out of my family) used to be a contractor for houses and so he had offered to help us clean the house up and prepare for sale. he had explicitly said he wanted to help in my dad’s honor, my mom and i just had to pay him back for materials. well us knowing its quite a job we told him thank you and we will definitely pay you for labor as well because its such a big job. he lives a state over so he brings his trailer to park at the house and works from about the end of January through to the end of February then up and leaves without letting us know he was done and leaving. we find this out after getting to the house to see its progress and seeing he was gone. well we call and find out he’s already home. now as we’re checking out his “finished” work we discover a lot of unfinished and unruly loose ends to the “ready for sale” house. Electrical on half the house didn’t work, paint jobs were worse than a four year old, water ran brown, the backyard wasn’t sloped, the garage was still full of junk, the heater came off the wall, doors didn’t align so they didn’t close, and so so so much more. my boyfriend, having a bit of construction background, offered to try and tie those loose ends; essentially finishing the work. well on the first or second day he was working i was helping and received a call from our realtor who was also our cousin.  she starts the call off with, “so your mom was nervous to tell you so ill be the messenger.” uhoh...

[kuyaeyrown]

mInD mAp tHaT MaYBe cOuLD BeNeFiT sOmEboDy ;)