#eosophobia shitpost

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i got out of bed at 3am to label this and queue it because i so desperately wanted to share this enlightened revelation

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viktor: you're more trouble than you're worth, boy

jackal, in complete monotone: yeet

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i was planning out magenta’s pov last night and my scenes sound like Fallout Boy song titles

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me, creating my OCs: this is Viktor, he’s an asshole and a swindler and a mercenary and has the biggest balls.  you can hear them slap his thighs when he swaggers up to you.  he would sell you to satan for a corn chip and gamble even that away.  he actually enjoys drinking brandy and once killed a man for insisting it tasted like gasoline

Viktor, in every scene: hi, my name is “teddy bear mcsoftheart” and my hobbies include playing with my partner’s hair, teaching children basic self-defense and gun safety, and performing ballet under the open skies.  i once fell in love with a man just because he complimented the color of my shirt.  i unironically play the harmonica 

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My brother is presumably dead, random bandits are trying to kill me, we just met a man with inhuman abilities who claims to be Death, and what you’re concerned about is if we have enough brandy?

Jackal to Viktor, probably

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i know a huge premise of my book is just “Oswald (Death) is Bored and decides to start a war for the sake of some good entertainment” 

but the premise of Oswald’s PoV is “this person just won’t die like they’re scheduled to and now she’s yelling at me and nagging me and making me feel bad about my actions and all I want to do is finish my shift so I can go home and put my feet up but she’s dragging her death out for 3 weeks will you just die, what does it take to kill you, why are you like a fucking cockroach” 

and anyway that’s my novel

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Oswald.jpg

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Shoot sober so you can spend the time in-between murders with enough money to drink away the guilt.

Viktor, probably