When Felicity says “I don’t want to be a woman you love” to Oliver, it’s not simply another roadblock on their way to possibly becoming a couple. This moment isn’t about “Olicity,” and it’s not about how Oliver feels (although Stephen Amell absolutely nailed Oliver’s devastation at hearing those words). No, this moment is Felicity declaring who she is; it is claiming and reaffirming her identity.
Felicity has always been the moral center of Arrow and, especially during the show’s past two seasons, has acted as Oliver’s conscience, always pushing and urging him to do the right thing. She recognizes the immorality (not to the mention the stupidity) of trusting Malcolm and ensures that she won’t be a part of it. Felicity will not surrender her integrity in order to simply stand by Oliver; she will not compromise who she is, no matter how much she loves him, illustrating just how far she has come from the awkward, babbling IT girl we met back in Season 1 and showing that she has transformed into a woman that has no problem announcing her strength, honor, and conviction.