Discover Top Posts Tagged with #er funny

Random person: How did you even become a guard? You're not exactly... *gestures to all of me*

Me, in all my 5'4" glory: Normal person sized?

Guard 2: You're fucking tiny, is what you are.

Me: A tiny ball of rage. 😁

Guard 3 I'm in the process of training: Rage? You're the nicest guard here!

Guard 2: You obviously haven't heard the Mom Voice yet.

#funny #we're security professionals #er security #life as a security guard #security #i swear we're professionals #most of the time #hospital funny #hospital security #hospital #times at the hospital #er #er funny #short people #unite!

I wonder what the ER staff is thinking whenever they overhear the conversations coming out of our office? Like, there will be a passionate argument about gun control with sentences like "so you're saying a woman who's been threatened by a 300 lb ex can't go out and get a gun to defend herself, that it's more important she dies because the less guns the better?" which is quickly countered with "I'm saying I don't want Crazy Craig who we had to tackle last week to be able to go into any Scheels and buy a gun" to "but now Defenseless Denise can't buy a gun to protect herself!"

and then not even two minutes later there's a discussion on zombies and all the scientific possibilities of it occuring.

Like damn, there's a linear connection between the two but how would a nurse filtering in and out of that conversation react?

#funny #er security #er #er nurse #er funny #hospital funny #times at the hospital #hospital security #hospital #life as a security guard #security

Life as a security guard

Visitor: Why do you carry a taser?

Me: Because they won't let me have a sword

#er security #er #er funny #we're security professionals #hospital security #life as a security guard #security #funny #sword #i just really like armor and swords #i want a sword #not this #taser #gimme a real weapon

Best feeling in the world: when men don't underestimate a woman's power

E.g: Me, rather small, rather thin female security guard, currently standing watch over a very non-cooperative patient high off meth. Two male security guards and a few nurses watching on the camera down the hall, wondering how it's gonna go.

Nurse: Shouldn't you be in there?

Male guard 1: Nah, we only need one officer in there at a time

Nurse: But what if he attacks her?!

Male guard 1: Well, he's about the same siz-

Male guard 2: *blurts out* Then that poor bastard!