#er ideas

[dreamerdrop]

Dennis Gant POV where he becomes increasingly convinced that Benton and Carter are in a fucked up unhealthy relationship where Benton is taking advantage of Carter...

Except Benton and Carter aren’t sleeping together at all, although Carter obviously wishes they were, and it becomes apparent that while Benton is a dick to Gant, he definitely has a soft spot for Carter and is actually kind of protective of him.

Not sure this makes Gant feel any better, though.

[dreamerdrop]

surprisingly somewhat lengthy bentoncarter omegaverse thoughts, given that i’m not really that into omegaverse stuff to begin with…

in short: omega!carter with issues & beta!benton who carter feels safe with and is attached to specifically because benton is NOT an alpha.

i’m still very attached to the idea of omega john carter er who has hormonal imbalances caused by abuse of suppresants throghout his life, who is terrified of having a heat, ever, and is even more terrified of being anywhere near an alpha during a heat because he was taken advantage of as a child during his first juvenile heat.

… and beta peter benton, who is not an alpha, and is very grateful to not be an alpha because of all that heat and rut and pheremone bullshit just seems very headache inducing to him… he also has an extremely dim view of the kind of obnoxious alphas that try to throw their alpha status around like it means anything outside of the bedroom.

but, for some inexplicable reason, being near benton causes carters hormones to go crazy, and in the midst of a demanding schedule (and carter neglecting to tell anyone he’s an omega on a strict regime of suppresants) during his surgery rotation, carter skips one-too-many doses of his suppresants, and goes into a really, really bad heat.

and he won’t let anyone near him except benton.

which is half because he wants to have benton’s babies, sure, who wouldn’t— but also because benton is SAFE. benton won’t hurt him. won’t take advantage of him. everything in carter’s heat fogged brain just screams at him that benton is the safest person in the entire world, and the only person who should ever be allowed near him in this state again.

he does also want to have benton’s babies, though. which is unlikely to actually happen because a) carter has fertility issues caused by the prolonged abuse of suppresants, b) beta’s have a low chance of impregnation of omegas to begin with, and c) benton isn’t fucking him while he’s in heat because carter is delirious and not thinking straight.

… after the heat passes and carter is coherent and can actually talk things out, they might consider an arrangement. it’s not like benton is likely to get carter pregnant even when he is in heat, anyway.

(kerry weaver convinces carter and benton to let her write a research paper on the statisically near impossible pregnancy that occurs.)

[dreamerdrop]

Thinking about the specific shape I want when I’m writing stuff where Carter’s father is abusive…

I need to have the internal logic of the abuser straight in my head before I can really write them… not that abuse is ever logical, really, but y’know. I need them to feel… human in their horrific actions, I guess.

Hm… when I’m writing Carter’s dad being abusive, my image of him is a man who is distant when sober, almost friendly when he’s a couple drinks in, and only becomes particularly cruel or violent when he’s absolutely smashed.

Also very pathetic and resents Carter because Gamma likes Carter more than him. Less about Bobby (as per Carter’s mothers issues) and more about his own mommy issues and jealousy extending to his son.

Excerpt from a wip where Carter is trying to explain his father to someone else. ->

“When he’s sober, he won’t even look at me. I don’t exist. Couple drinks in, he’s a little warmer, might even call me son,” Carter laughs weakly, shaking his head a little, almost sounding fond of the memory of his father being just the right amount of buzzed. His face contorts as he looks away, hesitating before he continues. “It’s just… there’s sort of a… threshold. One drink too many, and suddenly… he’s miserable, and angry, and I’m…”

End of excerpt. (He’s explaining it to Benton, but that’s not entirely relevant to this post.)

… I picture him sobering up in the aftermath, and being ashamed and uncomfortable with any damage done. Apologising to his son quietly, and slinking off to be distant and cold again. But not so much ashamed that he won’t have a couple drinks again, and then a few more, before going too far all over again.

I really wanna do something with Abby & Carter re: Carter’s parents and alcohol too… hm.

[dreamerdrop]

i love suffering, so…

suicidal john carter er post-s15 thoughts. :D

post-season 15 john carter having a complication or something post-transplant and just deciding that well, the carter centre is open now, kem left again but at least they talked and got closure, he had a few nice moments with some old friends… maybe it’s fine if he just lets it happen this time.

no more unfinished buisiness. nothing to worry about. he can be happy when he dies. it’s good enough, really, more than he used to think he’d ever get. yeah. death sounds good to him, really. almost uplifting.

… and then peter benton getting a call from haleh adams that carter was admitted to the hospital in a critical condition, having strongarmed carter into making benton his emergency contact after running into him at northwestern.

option a — carter dies. and it’s extremely obvious that he basically killed himself intentionally via neglecting his own medical needs.

benton cursing carter for being an idiot even while holding the cold hand of his corpse and choking back his tears.

benton thinking about that night carter implied he was afraid benton might kill himself after dennis gant died, how there was a time when carter was the one who wouldn’t let up on trying to make benton talk about his feelings instead of keeping everything bottled up quietly, before benton had seen for himself that carter was the same way when things got truly dire, and that he’d insist he was fine until someome physically forced him to confront how badly he was doing.

benton hearing an old echo in his head, and wondering if carter couldn’t go to him about wanting to die because he knew benton would talk him out of it, so he couldn’t even give benton the chance to try.

option b — carter lives!

but wakes up to a benton who is seriously considering chaining carter to a radiator in his basement forever because WHY does shit like this keep happening whenever benton lets the man out of his sight for even a moment.

[dreamerdrop]

a brief summary of some er 1994 fic wips i have lying around, in no particular order.

s1-2 -> Someone leaves a large leather collar with a tag reading “Property of Peter Benton” in Carter’s locker, alongside some cheap novelty dog ears, as a prank. Benton walks in on Carter holding said items and blushing profusely.

s4 -> Carter and Benton make up and start sleeping together. Benton gets Carter to wear pink, lacy panties under his scrubs as a sign of ownership. Wearing them actually helps Carter focus, like having a security blanket on, so this is fine. Until Exodus, where he’s stripped down for the decontamination shower.

s1 -> Doug plays pranks and makes bets with Carter that gradually escalate until they hit a deeply uncomfortable dubcon scenario where it’s obvious Carter wants to say no but doesn’t and Doug is left deeply disturbed by Carter having passively agreed to something that was clearly fucked up. Benton walks in on it and reacts accordingly.

[timeline undecided] -> Carter and Benton have been hooking up. Benton compliments Carter on his blowjob skills in such a way that it triggers something for Carter, and Benton becomes slowly, reluctantly aware that Carter’s relationship with his late older brother was not a healthy one.

s3 -> After Carter’s apartment burns down, he’s back at home with his family for a little while. Benton is looking for him because he’s late and finds him in an empty exam room, shirt pulled up because he’s examining a litany of bruises on his torso and below. Carter is cagey, but it becomes apparent that someone in his family beat him.

And the follow-up to the VuceCarter fic, of course.