Dec 7, 2012
"why does val kilmer wear turtlenecks?"
...in the Top 10 search terms for my blog this week. Answer: I don't know.
seen from Argentina
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Japan
seen from Japan
seen from United States
seen from Philippines
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from Singapore
"why does val kilmer wear turtlenecks?"
...in the Top 10 search terms for my blog this week. Answer: I don't know.
Shooting Zombies in Meth Country
I'm about to drive for 2 1/2 hours to some town halfway across the state in order to go on a haunted hayride. Normally, haunted hayrides make me about as excited as Pap smears (not very, although both are better if someone gives you candy at the end), but this hayride features mounted paintball guns that you use to shoot at "zombies" in the woods. By "zombies" I mean unfortunate locals who work for this bizarre haunted hayride/house company and must show up to get riddled with paint cartridges on a regular basis. At least during the fall. It was either this or a live performance of Mozart's Requiem, and no one was as enthusiastic about Lachrimosa Dies Illa as I was.
If you don't buy Sleepy Kitty's new album Infinity City, then you should be kicked out. Of everything. True story: I wrote about seeing Sleepy Kitty open for the Dresden Dolls last fall, and a few weeks later, one of the proprietors of the greatest place to get an Americano and/or breakfast burrito in St. Louis told me that Paige Brubeck had read and enjoyed my post. Perhaps because I said I'd punt a baby for her voice.
I just discovered a feature that allows me to read my blog's search terms by days, weeks, months, etc. Among the best search terms that led people to my blog this month are as follows: 1. when your mouth is open your ears are closed 2. nutella enema 3. where to get drunk at on sunday morning in st. louis 4. inappropriate things to do 5. jonathan brandis secret apartment 6. shit basement to fancy basement 7. does tapping your nails bring ghosts 8. if i was you i would not talk shit 9. people who think everyone else is stupid 10. val kilmer is a fucking asshole While a few keywords make sense, I now suspect that Google's famous algorithm is based entirely on wizardry with no basis in mathematics or anything I've ever actually written.
...is that we get it all the time, and everyone's going to be a dick, and usually you've got to just walk it off, champ.
Whoa.
Someone found my regular blog by googling "when did Val Kilmer die?" I'm sort of afraid to start looking for this on my own.