Operation Lovebite
(a.k.a. How to accidentally get engaged while trying to play cupid.)
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:𓂃𓆩☽☾𓆪𓂃:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
Notes:
I can write stuff other than angst... this is a new series I'm working on right now~ I hope you enjoy!!
This's crack. Don't take it seriously. Please. Or try to make sense of it. Because it won't.
POV: Ermac (Long-suffering, suspicious, and seconds from ascending out of sheer secondhand embarrassment.)
The Outworld marketplace is, unfortunately, still standing.
Ermac hovers beside a stall selling what looks suspiciously like bootleg Liu Kang action figures, eyes narrowed beneath his hood. He's on guard duty. The crowd bustled. Mortal concerns. Mortal noise. Mortal smells. He longs for silence. And then, as if summoned by the very thought, comes Ashrah.
Striding toward him like she hadn’t once tried to purify him into ghost glitter.
“Greetings,” she says sweetly.
Ermac doesn’t say “Oh, great,” but the psychic energy implies it. “...You are far from the Netherrealm.”
She smiles, hands clasped politely. “I was hoping to speak with you. Alone.”
Ermac stares. Then, grudgingly: “Proceed.”
She hesitates just enough to make him suspicious, then exhales. “It’s about Reptile.”
That gets his attention.
“We… spend time together,” she continues, voice softer now. “He is kind to me. Protective. He makes me laugh, even if I don’t always understand his jokes.”
Ermac makes a noise of spiritual disdain. Reptile’s “jokes” usually involves insects.
“I believe… I have developed feelings,” she says. “And I think he returns them. But I don’t know how to tell him. It’s… new. To me.”
A pause.
Ermac blinks. Slowly.
“You want our help.”
Ashrah nods earnestly. “You understand people better than you admit. And… I know you would want Syzoth to be happy.”
…Damn her and her logic.
Ermac grunts. “Fine. We will arrange something.”
Ashrah lights up like she hadn’t orchestrated the spiritual downfall of at least three minor deities. “Thank you.”
Ermac watches her walk off, robes flowing, and frowns. Something about this doesn’t sit right.
Later That Day – Some Outworld Fountain
Ashrah is sitting on the fountain edge, smoothing her skirts.
Reptile appears moments later, awkwardly clutching what might’ve been a bouquet of swamp weeds.
They both open their mouths.
“Syzoth—”
“Ashrah—”
Silence.
From his hiding spot behind a fruit stall, Ermac resists the urge to facepalm with all five collective souls.
This is… painful.
Then—
“I told you I didn’t say the moons of Zaterra look like squashed melons!” Reptile hisses.
“They DO!” Ashrah snaps, throwing her arms up. “Your entire homeland looks like a compost heap!”
Ermac, internally: We regret everything.
How did the situation escalate in a matter of seconds? Only Reptile can achieve this feat.
He was about to intervene when a familiar twang cut through the khaos.
Erron, suddenly appearing beside Reptile. “What he means to say is, he thinks you’re absolutely right, sugar.”
Ermac blinks. Slowly turns, materialising behind Ashrah.
“...We were unaware you were part of this mission.”
Erron, tipping his hat, “We? Damn Ermac, didn’t know you had a royal court up in there.”
They glare. The air around them practically crackled with competitive masculine nonsense.
Reptile whispers to Ashrah, “oh no. They’ve made it a contest.”
Ashrah, sipping from a fruit smoothie she did not have before. “Let them.”
Montage – "Operation Lovebite: Training Day(s)" - Royal Garden Courtyard
The sun is too bright. The flowers are suspiciously cheerful. Somewhere, a bird sings a mating song far too loudly.
Ermac hates it here.
“I want to learn how to flirt properly. You’re so composed, I thought... perhaps you could show me?” Says Ashrah with the most poker face she can muster up.
Ermac, with the calm of a man dying inside, “...We do not flirt.”
“Then what do you call what you do with your eyes when you speak to people?”
Ermac blinks.
“Seeing.”
Nevertheless, he steps forward, spine straight, radiating supernatural discomfort.
He clears his throat.
“Compliments should be… specific. Tailored. For example: Your… posture is commendable.”
Ashrah, to her credit, looks delighted.
From behind a bush, Erron facepalms so hard he nearly knocked his hat off. He's absolutely not spying.
Mock Date
Ashrah and Reptile sit across from one another at a table that has seen at least three bar fights and one beheading.
Erron, whispering to Reptile, “you gotta maintain eye contact, partner. Real intense-like. Like you’re tryin’ to melt her soul.”
“...I can melt souls.”
“No. Bad. No soul melting on the first date.”
Ashrah, meanwhile, glances over at Ermac.
She whispers, “do I touch his hand now, or do I wait for him to mention something tragic?”
“Tradition suggests waiting until the second tragic anecdote.” Ermac says flatly.
Reptile, completely misunderstanding the cue, launches into a story about losing his favorite rock as a child.
Ashrah takes his hand immediately.
Ermac nods, satisfied. Erron mutters something about “damn lizard charm.”
The Tango
It happens like a fever dream.
A side room in the palace. Candles lit. Music playing from some poor bard Reiko had roped into live accompaniment.
Ermac turns to Ashrah and Reptile, “the tango is about tension. Mutual trust. Controlled intimacy.”
Erron snorts.
“Sounds like foreplay with extra steps.”
“It is not.”
Ashrah and Reptile take their positions, limbs awkward, swaying like confused scarecrows.
Erron crosses his arms, muttering, “They ain’t got the heat for this.”
“Demonstration, then.” Ermac challenges.
He reaches out. Grabs Erron by the waist.
Time freezes.
Erron, now redder than hellfire, “what the—”
“Follow.” Ermac instructs calmly.
And gods help him, Erron does.
Ermac moves with silent precision. Turn, step, press close, pivot. His hand settles firmly on the small of Erron’s back. Erron trips over a chair. Swears. Grips tighter.
They don’t speak.
Ashrah and Reptile watch, wide eyed. The bard plays more aggressively.
Ashrah comments quietly, “they’re good.”
“They’re very good.” Reptile sips from his juice.
The song ends. Erron yanks himself free.
“This was supposed to be your training, not a damn romantic novella.”
He storms out, cape flaring, face bright red.
Ermac follows like a ghost shaped magnet.
“We do not see the problem.” Ermac deadpans.
The Training Room. A Day Later.
Ashrah and Reptile are sparring. And by "sparring," we mean Reptile is gently tossing her like a sack of potatoes and Ashrah is giggling like she didn't just get suplexed into a wall.
Ermac watches, arms crossed, aura quietly flickering with suspicion.
“They are... oddly compatible.” Ermac mutters to himself.
Erron leans in, hands on hips. “What gave it away, the giggling or the eye fondling?”
Ermac’s eyes furrowed.
“She just stabbed him and he said thank you.”
“Maybe he's into that.”
“...Unlikely.”
Something about their chemistry is off. Not in a bad way. In a well-rehearsed way. Like they’re used to each other’s rhythms. Like they’ve done this dance before.
Too smoothly.
Too easily.
Ermac narrows his gaze.
“They do not need this help.”
Erron scoffs.
“You finally catching on, huh? All that cryptic bullshit of yours couldn’t sniff out two people already in love?”
“We are beginning to suspect deception.”
At that exact moment, Ashrah and Reptile crash into a stack of training dummies, landing in a heap, Ashrah somehow perfectly angled on Reptile’s lap, giggling as he brushes dust off her hair.
“Oh, how clumsy of me.” Ashrah beams.
“You fall for me so easily.” Reptile grins.
Too smooth. Too goddamn smooth.
Ermac side eyes Erron. Erron’s already watching him.
“You thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’?”
“We are never thinking what you are thinking.”
“Fair. But humor me.”
“...They may be manipulating us.”
Erron looks like he’s just discovered gravity.
“No shit.”
They stand there for a beat, mutual realization dawning like a storm cloud.
“We have been made fools.”
“Speak for yourself, I’ve always been a fool.” Erron grumbles.
“You danced with us.”
Erron deadpans.
“You grabbed my ass.”
Ermac doesn’t deny it.
“It was strategic.”
Cue both of them slowly turning toward Ashrah and Reptile, who are now comparing something in a scrapbook they definitely didn’t have five minutes ago and trying very hard to look surprised they’re being watched.
Ashrah snaps it shut fast. Reptile coughs.
Too late.
Suspicion confirmed.
A Shady Outworld Tavern – Nightfall.
Ermac and Erron sit at a dimly lit table like two dads waiting for their teenage kids to come home past curfew. Erron’s got his feet kicked up, hat low, chewing on something that may or may not be a toothpick. Ermac is glowing ominously.
Vibes: intervention but make it passive-aggressive.
Reptile and Ashrah enter, holding hands like that’s a normal thing now. Reptile immediately tries to pull away when he spots them but Ashrah tightens her grip with a sweet smile like: Too late, bitch.
“Well, well. If it ain’t the happy couple.” Erron says dryly, tipping his hat back.
Ashrah tries to feign surprise. “Couple? Us? Oh no, we were just—”
“You are holding hands.” Ermac says flatly.
Reptile, sweating lizard bullets. “It’s, uh. Cultural. Zaterran custom. Very platonic. All the rage.”
“You kissed her hand this morning and called her ‘beloved.’”
“Friendly platonic beloved.”
“We are going to kill you.” Ermac threatens.
Ashrah raises both her hands like she’s surrendering, but she’s smiling like someone who’s already set all the landmines and knows exactly where everyone’s about to step.
“No need for threats. We were just... testing you.” Ashrah says almost too cheerfully.
“Testing?! You tricked us into helping you confess to someone you were already dating!”
“We prefer the term ‘creative matchmaking.’”
“We had spreadsheets.”
“...You plotted spreadsheets?” Ermac asked, genuinely confused.
Reptile said, “color-coded.”
Ashrah reaches behind her, plops down a thick scrapbook and a rolled-up chart titled “Operation Lovebite: Emotional Denial Forecast (Phase III)”
Erron stared blankly.
“...What the hell is Phase III?”
Ashrah and Reptile exchange a smug look.
“You two get together.” Ashrah pointed at them.
“...We are together.” Ermac simply said.
Reptile raises an eyebrow.
“Like together-together? Or still-flirting-awkwardly-while-pretending-you-haven’t-been-lusting-since-Kotal’s-coronation?”
Erron facepalms.
“...Fuck.”
Ashrah snaps her fingers.
“Exactly!”
Reptile opens the scrapbook again and turns to a full two-page spread titled:
“THE SORCERER AND THE GUNSLINGER – A CASE STUDY IN PINING”
It’s got candid photos. Sketches. Charts. A little hand-written note from Ashrah: “He watches him like a storm cloud; romantic, moody, doomed.”
Erron physically slams his hat down and covers his face with both hands.
“You documented us?!”
Reptile smirks.
“Page 17 is just you looking longingly at his soul mass.”
Ermac picks up the book. Flips it open. Silently stares at a page titled: “Not-Boyfriends: A Timeline of Missed Opportunities.”
Ermac stares with betrayal in his eyes.
“You sketched us in the hot springs...”
Ashrah shrugs.
“For science.”
The tension builds. Erron’s flushed, mad, flustered. Ermac is weirdly quiet.
Ashrah and Reptile are just vibing. They already won.
And finally—
“You still didn’t answer my question. Why go through all this?” Erron says gritting his teeth.
Reptile, softly and honest for once, “because we love each other... and we could see you loved each other too. You just needed a push.”
A beat. A long one.
Ashrah nudges Reptile and whispers:
“Ten koins says they kiss before dessert.”
Reptile whispers back.
“You’re on.”
INT. TRAINING HALL – EVENING
The sun is dying outside in a dramatic blaze because even the sky ships Ermac and Erron, apparently.
Ashrah and Reptile are “cleaning up” in the background. Translation: pretending to stack chairs while watching like hawks.
Ermac picks up a long-abandoned tango record. Spins it once.
“Would you like to try again? Without an audience.” Ermac starts, as casually as a thunderstorm.
Erron snorts, arms crossed, refusing to look directly at him.
“What, you got withdrawal symptoms already?”
Ermac steps closer.
“It was not unpleasant.”
“...You nearly twirled me into a damn pillar.”
“You held onto us.” Ermac says softly, too softly.
A beat. Erron goes quiet.
Then he mutters.
“You didn’t let go.”
Ermac moves a little closer. One step. Another.
“Did you want us to?”
Erron says gruff and low. “No.”
Silence again. Heavy. Thick. Charged like a thunderhead.
Ermac reaches forward, gloved fingers brushing the hem of Erron's coat. Not pulling, just there.
“We have danced around many things.”
Erron laughs bitterly.
“You talkin’ about the tango or our feelings?”
“Yes.”
Erron looks at him, really looks at him. And something in him just... snaps. In the good way. The desperate way.
“Fuck it.”
He grabs the front of Ermac’s robe and kisses him like it owes him money. It’s rough and clumsy and teeth clicking and damn near searing.
Ermac doesn’t hesitate. One hand to the back of Erron’s neck, the other gripping his armor plate. He kisses back like he’s been waiting a lifetime for this exact khaos.
FROM THE DOORWAY:
Ashrah and Reptile, clutching hands, eyes misty. Drinks in the other hand.
“They’re kissing.” Reptile sheds a fake lizardy tear.
“Operation Lovebite... complete.” Ashrah nods with satisfaction.
“Phase four: Double date interrogation?”
“Oh absolutely.”
Reptile hands Ashrah the koins happily.
INT. ROYAL DINING HALL – NIGHT
Candles. Fancy dishes. Ashrah brought out the nice robes. Reptile combed his scales. There’s wine. And judgement.
Erron and Ermac sit on one side of the table, still visibly recovering from their “heat of the moment” kiss. Awkward doesn’t begin to cover it.
Ashrah and Reptile, however, are thriving.
Ashrah starts with a sweet smile. “So. How long have you two been repressing your feelings?”
Erron nearly chokes on his drink. Ermac stares at the ceiling like it holds the answers to life.
Erron snaps defensively. “We weren’t repressin’ nothin’.” he glares at her.
“We strongly disagree.” Ermac mumbles.
Reptile grinned sharply. “You almost fought over who would lead a tango.”
“And flirted during a flirting lesson. That wasn’t even assigned.”
Erron starts to open his mouth, but Ashrah reaches under the table and drops something on the surface.
The damned scrapbook.
Decorated in shiny red stickers, glitter, and a godawful title written in thick black ink: "Operation Lovebite: The Not-Boyfriend Cowboy & The Ghost With Issues."
Ashrah proudly says, “we’ve been documenting your slow descent into coupledom.”
“That's exactly what I was say—”
Reptile starts flipping the pages. “This one’s from the time you tripped and caught Ermac by the waist. The caption says: ‘Classic gay yearning.’”
Erron looks horrified.
“You been stalking us?”
“Curating a narrative.” Ashrah deflects.
Ermac says dryly. “You knew this entire time.”
“We’ve been dating for eleven months.” Reptile admits.
Ashrah looks at Ermac pointedly. “I interrogated you for romantic advice. You.”
Erron shouts at Reptile. “You little bastard! You played me!”
“With love.”
Ashrah, the sweet angelic demon she is, says, “and mild psychological manipulation.”
“Which worked.” Reptile beamed.
Ashrah clinks her glass. Reptile stands up.
“To true love!”
“And meddling!” Reptile adds.
They burst into a coordinated victory dance. It’s half martial arts, half enthusiastic lizard flailing, all too rehearsed to be casual.
Ashrah twirls dramatically. Reptile moonwalks. There’s a spin. A dip. A sparkle bomb from somewhere explodes behind them.
Erron watches with horror. “...We were pawns.”
“We are never living this down.”
“Next time they need help, we're faking our own deaths.”
“But we are together.” Ermac says softly.
Erron grumbles, flustered, “yeah. That part ain’t so bad.”
They lean into each other slightly, resigned and secretly a little happy.
EPILOGUE: “BLACKMAIL, BUT MAKE IT SCRAPBOOKED” - INT. ROYAL PALACE LIBRARY – DAY
Mileena is rummaging through a stack of scrolls, minding her own (khaotic) business when something… glitters in the corner.
She turns. Squints.
Lying suspiciously exposed on a reading table is the scrapbook.
Still obnoxiously titled. Still bedazzled within an inch of its life.
Mileena reads aloud.
“'Emotionally constipated construct and his not-boyfriend mercenary.' …Oh this reeks of opportunity.”
She opens it.
Her eyes widen. She flips pages. Faster. Then slower. Then slower still.
There are photos. Notes. Captioned drawings. A cutout of Erron’s hat. A page titled “Top 5 Times Ermac Looked Like He Wanted to Haunt Him Romantically.”
She starts laughing. Like full body, gasping for air, feral empress wannabe cackling.
INT. REPTILE’S ROOM – LATER
Ashrah and Reptile are relaxing, sipping tea, basking in the aftermath of a successful operation.
BOOM.
The doors slam open.
Mileena storms in, holding the scrapbook like it’s the final piece of a conspiracy.
“I demand ten more copies of this. Immediately.”
Ashrah with an innocent smile, “we can make you one with extra glitter.”
Reptile elbows her, “don’t forget the bonus chapter. Erron cried.”
Mileena's eyes sparkle.
“And I want it illustrated.”
INT. ERRON'S ROOM – SAME TIME
Erron opens his drawer.
Inside: a photocopy of the scrapbook’s most damning page. Ermac in full romantic crisis mode, blushing like a schoolboy.
“...We’re being haunted by our own past.” Erron stares.
Ermac materialises behind him.
“We are never letting them write anything again.”
Erron now pinned against his own drawer.
“Unless they’re writing smut.”
Ermac doesn’t respond verbally.
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:𓂃𓆩☽☾𓆪𓂃:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
Ashrah and Reptile at a printing press. Stacks of “Operation Lovebite” Vol. 1, 2, and a Special Edition covered in embarrassing doodles.
“Do you think we should start matchmaking professionally?”
Reptile thinks for a few moments.
“Let’s wait until the construct and mercenary forgive us.”
“So... never?”
They high five.
Operation Lovebite: Gag Reel
"Bloopers so silly they'll make Shao Kahn do a spit take." My friend had said. •-•
Welcome to the "Operation Lovebite" Gag Reel now streaming exclusively in the minds of the emotionally unhinged.
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:𓂃𓆩☽☾𓆪𓂃:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
[BLOOPER #1 – The Tango That Killed a Thousand Souls]
Scene: The infamous tango lesson.
Ermac:
“Follow our lead.”
Erron (deadpan):
“Don’t boss me, I got rhythm.”
Cue Ermac dipping him with full drama. Erron yelps.
Ashrah (offscreen):
“You were not supposed to scream like a dying squirrel!”
Reptile (howling):
“HE KICKED ME IN THE TAIL!”
Camera pans down: Syzoth’s tail is tangled in a chair leg.
Cut to Erron and Ermac trying to regain composure. Failing. Miserably.
[BLOOPER #2 – The Argument Scene (Take 7)]
Ashrah: “Pineapple does not belong on pizza, Syzoth.”
Reptile (with righteous fury): “IT’S FRUIT. IT’S A TOPPING. I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.”
Erron leans out of his hiding spot:
“Y’all gonna kiss or debate fruit salads until we rot?”
Ermac, flat as ever:
“We prefer rotting. Less embarrassing.”
Cue corpse laughter. Literal ghost wheezing.
[BLOOPER #3 – The Marketplace Meet Cute (Gone Wrong)]
Ermac appears behind Ashrah, all mysterious flair. Cloak swoosh. Dramatic music.
…Except the cloak gets stuck on a merchant stall.
Ermac (deadpan, mid-struggle):
“We are… not trapped. We are pausing for effect.”
Erron walks by holding skewers:
“You want help or you wanna just become part of the scenery?”
Ashrah is fully doubled over laughing. A child nearby applauds.
[BLOOPER #4 – The Great Scrapbook Drop]
Final scene. Reptile and Ashrah slam down the scrapbook. Erron and Ermac stare in horror.
The scrapbook flips open to a page marked: “Top 10 Fanfiction Tropes We Want Them To Live Out IRL”
#1: Only One Bed.
#2: Enemies to Lovers.
#3: “Oops We’re Married Now?”
Erron (mortified):
“Are these written in glitter gel pen—”
Ermac (muttering):
“We hate everything.”
Then a page flutters out. It’s a hand-drawn doodle of Erron in a wedding dress. With sparkles.
Erron walks off camera (yelling):
“I AM NOT WEARING LACE!”
Reptile shouts back:
“Don’t worry, we have decided that Ermac would look better in a dress, so you won't have to wear lace!”
Erron sputters.
Ermac disappears with a poof.
Ashrah and Reptile giggle like gossiping schoolgirls.
[BONUS – POST-CREDITS STINGER]
Back in her room, Mileena holds a plushie set of the construct and gunslinger. Kissing. With magnets.
Mileena (grinning):
“I’m selling these at the palace gift shop.”
Ashrah sips her drink.
Ashrah:
“We get royalties, right?”
Cut to Reptile with a calculator.
Reptile:
“With current demand, we could fund a wedding. Or an entire theme park.”
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:𓂃𓆩☽☾𓆪𓂃:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧
OPERATION LOVEBITE: THE RIDE coming 2026. (Maybes...)
Notes:
I've been a loyal: Ashrah x Reptile shipper since MK1... And so i had to write them in the MKX timeline xD
Made it this far? Curious about this ship? Check out this post~
