#eroticdreams

[unspokensl]

Velvet Contrast

Surface Tension In liquid dark, where secrets sleep, Your shadow's edge, a promise to keep. Tell me what you see in the deep. A silver drop

[barebenefit]

There’s a certain thrill in surrendering to my own fantasies, allowing my mind to wander to places where my deepest desires are realized. My bedroom becomes a stage for my wildest dreams, where I am both the seducer and the seduced. It’s a dance of passion, a celebration of my own sexuality.

No limits, just the freedom to lose myself in my own pleasure.

🌌🔥

[barebenefit]

The night brings out the wildest fantasies. In the dark, I become whoever I want to be.

🌌🔥

[barebenefit]

There’s a certain thrill in surrendering to my own fantasies, allowing my mind to wander to places where my deepest desires are realized.

🌌🔥

[sheissomniac]

Soft pastels and textures

They were all around me in a circle. Brunettes, blonds and reds, each dressed in latex. The suits differed in colour, details and specific props. There was dark brick red, mustard, cream and forest green, all toned down. Looking from above that scene would come as a flower of different petals. A brunette styled her hair in a slick high ponytail, and the long straight tail fell to the side. The one in brick red had a harness tightened all along the legs, waist and neck crossed at the front protruding her breasts. Her mouth was gagged. Another wore a mask. Most of them had chokers. Most of skin was covered, but some suits allowed ankles, backs, arms, necks, pussies and asses to show off. They were on all fours with beautifully round asses raised up facing me. I was packed with all sort of toys and torture gadgets. Dildos and strap ons of different shapes and sizes, wands, whips, chains, clamps, ropes, cuffs. These women were slaves and my only responsability was to please them. My hands felt the latex like a layer of their skin. The noises, heavy breathing. Guttural sounds from gaged mouths. Legs tremblings, skin shivering. I would speak to them and watch their eyes close. The expression lines on their faces becoming hard and consumed in anguish and pleasure. In the end we were together in this great moving mass of pastel colours, salty tears and juices.

This dream lasted what felt like hours and I wish I didn’t wake up. I could live it forever.

[sheissomniac]

The girl with fire hair

All she did was walk by and the obsession came over me. Her hair was a deep orange red, long and wavy with undone curls. I could see, and almost feel, how the ends scratched her lower back and how some curious longer strands bounced on her ass. The place was a rural villa, the kind where bricks have aged from red to sand and the lights are dim. It was a calm starry night, the sky above painted in midnight blue. It wasn't very late as I could still hear distant laughs from bars on the lower streets, and eclectic genres of music now going mute. She was walking up to the hill of the villa, climbing the narrow streets and impossible to walk in sidewalks. Every time she crossed a dim light from the little garden gates, a warm fire emerged from the contour of her hairs. I kept my pace behind her, sometimes leaning against a wall hiding from her sight, sometimes slowing down as she did. Her choice of clothes were... peculiar. A lettuce green crop top showing her abs and a pair of matching tight shorts. Black Nike sneakers. But what hypnotized me wasn't her clothes or her sweet scent, it was the way her entire body moved to an excruciatingly seductive rhythm. The sight of that was making me wet. I don't know why I was following her, but I knew I had to have her.

[heyababy]

Oversharing o’clock in indochina time

tl;dr: I had a sexy and problematic dream.

Microblogging is good. I know some of you cannot physically or dont want to read or process long passages, but I like to write this way rather than write a bunch of small entries. They are very related. But I don’t mean to make it inaccessibile for anyone and that and I do not intend to ever apologize again. [Mental note: suggest edition of JJ’s Ulysses that simply adds at the start “tl;dr: not sure what it is, to be sure”]

3:35am at the time that I right now look up at the knowing things for me and tweaking/untweaking/on/off/flip/whatever/aargh/process or if it is just waiting that makes the wifi start working again at the chon inter hotel where dreams are had apparently, and I would like to overshare a dream I just apparently had.

post-op AMAB with so much erectile tissue retained means no sexy thoughts for a couple months so why the hell do I even have sexy dreams? subconscious mind doesn’t know? huh? you’re telling me that there is something that my conscious mind knows and is very good at that my subconscious mind does not know? and does the thing, not knowing that it could hurt me? so it’s like the opposite of breathing or something?

idk i kinda feel the need to call bullshit on this.

before i get to the dream - which is risky since they fade after waking up and it would be amusing if at the end of this i just went: so anyway i had a dream but now i forgot what it was. dreams are weird. goodnight emoji. [helpful time to note that I am learning tumblr and do not yet know how to do [insert list of every tumblr thing]. so cool microblogging in facebook when an emoji tells half your story anyway really [groggily amused emoji] so I will do emojis like this if i think i need them for the story until i learn better how to put them in [smiley emoji] [engineers brain (the deep one, you know the one BELOW the reptilian one?) pipes in “just switch to html editor and link to the image you want from anywhere Heya” “Yes but without breaking my stream of consciousness” “Ohhhh... let me get back to you on that” :Yeah you do that ya sexy hunk of spinal cord or whatever ya are [basic red heart emoji]” - I would like to overshare something else that happened recently, also had a dream in it, also involves the sexy thought, and has an attached discussion. I should really make a separate blog post for that and I may do so later. But for now:

I had a dream where i tongue kissed a friend who I love but not in that way before now and everything was fine until I started talking to them about it and THAT is when I got the “sexy thoughts”. the ones that stir the erectile tissue, can damage healing, and are countermanded by the orders of Dr Suporn.  So I stopped. I started theorising and thinking hard on it, got the engineer brain on the fucker and it was okay for me to talk to her about it later on and she thought it was cute and flattering which was flattering for me [spiral of mutual flattery emoji].

so what’s going on? I’m turning demisexual or something? I don’t think so now, but I did think at the time was the answer. I just think that the “sexual thoughts” is something that you need to slowly get back to just like walking, or learning how to pee again, stuff like that. So “do not think about sex at all is not the answer” in fact I have been thinking about sex a damn lot, for a variety of reasons I will actually this time make a separate blog post about.

so i think that the subconscious mind, remember that, is actually doing exactly what it needs to do, it is slowly introducing ideas and feelings back to me and teaching me how to be sexy again. Like basically that erectile tissue? I do not actually want it to be hard as a rock while having sex, that would probably be dangerous to my partner if they happened to have a dick inside me when it happened for example. It needs to be, you know, a softie. a semi. So my subconscious is teaching me that, how to be semisexual.

And so I had a dream where I somehow was the girlfriend, roommate or friend of this person who I have met recently and again do not have those thoughts about before and this time not really sure if they like me or anything, it is just a totally weird person to be dreaming about like this, and we were getting pretty into it and here’s the weird bit: in the dream it was still in the “no sexy thoughts allowed time” my dream self knew it had this rule. And we still fooled around and I was thinking about fucking them and everything and thinking about fucking everyone in the room basically (there were a couple of other people there, just chilling whatever they aren’t key players in the story, just friends.) I just started thinking about what a great fucking organ I was making myself and how happy i was to let them fuck me soon, I think that we both knew that it wasn’t quite time when it was medically advisable to penetrate though and we didn’t; the dream ended there...

I woke up fully semi and not in pain at all and bemused, I had to write the dream down obviously and seemed like someone else might be interested but remember that this like everything I write is my own thing, it’s not on the toilet wall or the subway, you can block me or just don’t read my fucking diary.

But this is really hard because I think that other people might benefit from this theory of mine so I want to talk to them about it and they may get the evil erectile sexy thoughts and I could be hurting them. So easy does it. I guess that’s all.