I have a question for you! I hope it's not disrespectful. I'm asking because I geniuenly want to educate myself. I noticed you mentioned a few times that you are against m/m fetishization. But I have seen you enjoying and sharing m/m content created by women (and probably with other women in mind). Could I ask what for you counts as a fetishization? What is okay and what is not? Is it okay for women to create and enjoy m/m content or is it taking away creative space from actual gay/bi/pan men?
okay first things first, thank you for sending me a reminder to answer this! i didn’t entirely forget? i’ve just been hella distracted by things recently, so THANK YOU for bringing it to my attention again dear anon <3
okay without further ado!
firstly i would like to stress, there is NOTHING wrong with women creating and enjoying mlm content. honestly, there are very few men i’ve actually seen within fandom, so most of the content i do consume, and many other people consume, is made by women. and honestly? a whole lotta the time, it’s solid content. it’s respectful content. it’s content that i am really thankful for existing, cos i know damn well i couldn’t produce content as good as that.
unfortunately, bad content does exist. and even more unfortunately, it’s utterly RIFE within fandom, because fandom IS so heavily female dominated (again, that’s not necessarily a bad thing!) it’s just that because of this female majority, who enjoy this sort of content. it’s kinda like. just ignored when people DO point out it’s problematic? tbh this is the same for ANY minority within fandom. the majority is just.. mostly ignorant? or just. doesn’t give a shit bc as far as they’re aware, they enjoy that content and other people enjoy that content. what does it matter that their content is offensive to one small minority?
for me. one of the BIGGEST signs of mlm fetishist content, is. when a character. is pretty much turned into a fucking OC, simply to fulfil the mlm “stereotypes” that a lot of people just. seem to assume is normal in a mlm relationship? yknow stereotypes such as top/dom or bottom/sub are the same thing. the bottom/sub is automatically feminine and helpless and uwu soft baby. which. is not a thing??? it’s REALLY not a thing???
sure. stereotypical gay men do exist. but. like. that’s not at ALL accurate to how actual mlm relationships are???
so yeah. first point i guess. if it’s stereotypical to the point where characters are just. out of character. it’s fetishist.
second point? shipping two men. with no prior interaction. or even fuckin’ personalities. literally. just because they are two attractive men. and yes. i’m using reed900 as an example here. there is NO FUCKING EXCUSE when it comes to ships like this. there is NO REASON to ship them, other than the fact that they’re “uwu attractive gay men”. they have no dynamic. they have no developed personalities. they EXIST because people fetishized them.
like. i understand crack ships. i understand speculating a ship between two characters with like. no interactions cos you think their personalities would be compatible.
but when they DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING PERSONALITY, that is fetishization. and honestly, in my opinion. that automatically makes anyone who ships something like that, a fetishist. if you ship men together because they’re men, with no other reason than that. it’s fetishism. and it’s fucking hurtful to ACTUAL mlm. we are not a kink. we are not a guilty pleasure. we are people. and yes, this is all fiction, but it’s still things people consume?? it’s still stuff that.. people just assume are normal bc it’s everywhere???
some smaller, but other points i’d like to make. is. omegaverse. and mpreg. which are just as fuckin’. fetishizing of mlm as they come honestly. like. i am telling you. no actual fuckin’ mlm enjoys that sort of content. i’m into fuckin’ bdsm and general dom/sub dynamics but i am not into that content. because it’s fucking fetishist. like. it just enforces stereotypes. i don’t see this content as often, and enjoy it if you want to. it’s just. a big fuckin’ squick imo MSDLKFJSD
these, for me. are probably like. the biggest red flags that content is mlm fetishist. that i can think of in this current moment at least? i’m sorry this response is so bloody long, and i hope it’s been helpful! but in short. it is totally fine for women to both create, and enjoy mlm content! just. keep it respectful, please ;w;
Wine and Drag Race were exactly what he needed. Not to be caged into any stereotypes, but Sonder absolutely adored partying, and tried his very best to keep up with Cass and the band. Maybe it was because Cass was part Vampire and could metabolise the drugs quicker, or maybe it was because he was a youthful sixteen months younger than Sonder, but he needed a break.
Cass didn't seem to mind. In fact, he had become a little distant, but Sonder wouldn't admit that it got to him. His unintentional polyamorous relationship (with a girl, no less) was heavy on his mind. Normally the drugs numbed it, but Sonder was very much enjoying the wine with his best friend instead.
"What would your drag name be?" Sonder asked, his cheeks flushed red and giddy. "I think mine would be Saalty Tension. Can you see it?? And I would be boldly against tucking." He laughed heartily as Ru Paul savagely tore down a Queen.
"Well, I haven't actually thought about it, but Saalty Tension sounds hot." Jeremy purred his delicious, irresistible purr. Sonder didn't know if it was on purpose or not. Jeremy didn't talk to him like that. Not that he hadn't seen his friend flirting with people before, but Sonder was rarely the recipient. Although, it wasn't impossible... Jeremy took Sonder's wrist in his big, manly hands, and turned it over so that he could press a fluttering kiss to his palm.
"You would absolutely need to tuck. I've seen... Well, no, You're too shy to show me properly, which is a bit unfair because you've seen me naked a thousand times..." Jeremy was on a tangent, and Sonder blushed deeply. "I've seen you in those sequined go-go shorts. That's practically naked."
Sonder giggled and pulled his wrist away on instinct. His fingers danced over the spot that had been kissed. "Stop it! What are you doing, you bloody perve?" Sonder pushed on Jeremy's shoulder, making the Lockhart giggle instead. His hair flopped in such a way... Oh... "It's... Stop it, I can't believe we're even discussing this, it's nothing like yours..."
"I saw it, a little, remember that time you jerked off while I fucked Tyler?"
Sonder's breath caught in his throat. They didn't bring that up much, not when they were this close to sober. He swallowed the remainder of his wine to close the gap. "You did not!" He protested, sitting forward to fill his glass. He turned at the waist and topped off Jeremy's glass. "I was extremely discreet, and you've always been a show off! I mean, I would too, if I was - Well..." He gestured to the comparative Greek God.
Jeremy scoffed. "You're not being insecure, not after all this time?" Sweet, kind Jeremy, took Sonder's hands in his own once more. His big, strong hands. Sonder gulped. "You've got nothing to worry about. From what I've seen, you're totally perfect." He gave an encouraging squeeze. Sonder gave a small smile and took his hands back, back to the wine. Surely it was just the wine making him this flirty. Besides, it was normal for them. They'd always been flirty. "You don't need to be big when you're a bottom, anyway."
Sonder spat his wine dramatically and turned back around to Jeremy, properly red in the face now. "Excuse me?! You're just full of assumptions today, aren't you?" He attempted a playful slap at Jeremy's cheek but it ended in Sonder doing nothing but pressing his hand against the stubble there. His thumb brushed Jeremy's lower lip, and the blonde obligingly let his mouth gently open. He'd kissed him before. Loads of times. They kissed for experimentation in the beginning, and then for fun, and later for more fun, and sometimes when they were drunk... Like now... But Sonder hadn't even finished his second glass...
"I've topped. Loads." Cass. And he was really being very liberal with the word 'loads'. Maybe a couple of times, but lately they only hung out when they were both on massive amounts of drugs. He was sure Cass had sex with Shosh now more than ever, now they were on the road and in each other's space at every moment. With Jeremy's rough face in his hand, his soft lip against the tip of his thumb, did he really even care who Cass was shagging?
He leaned forward and kissed him. Gentle at first, playful, as if it were a question. 'Is this okay? Were you just teasing me?' And Jeremy answered with vigour. The boy wrapped his arm around Sonder's waist, forcing the smaller boy up, his stomach pressing against Jeremy's chest. Okay, definitely not teasing. Sonder's hand went up into Jeremy's gorgeous hair, which he tugged, and the blonde emitted a moan. Sonder smirked against Jeremy's mouth and so the boy answered it, tugging on Sonder's hair, his tongue pushing into his mouth. Sonder moaned, much louder than Jeremy's, which had the boy chuckling. "Idiot." Sonder whimpered, biting Jeremy's lip and dragging, slowly, letting the reddness pop between his lips while the Lockhart locked eyes with him.
"Is this okay?" Jeremy asked through his hooded eyes, luscious eyelashes batting ever-so-sweetly. Sonder gave a small whimper. Cass. He looked up, thinking about it for a moment. How happy Cass seemed with Shosh. How drunk he was with Sonder. Maybe they weren't compatible as a couple. Maybe they were better as friends? They'd jumped into everything so fast, which was just so unlike Sonder. He had been proposed to by Caldwell before he'd even had a dick inside or around him.
His hands rested on Jeremy's shoulders, thumbs rubbing small circles into the skin of his neck. He'd known the boy for most of his life. And he'd always wanted him. There wasn't a moment in his life where he wouldn't have dropped everything to do whatever Jeremy wanted to do. He truly, with all his heart, loved Jeremy Lockhart.
"It's perfect." He said, firmly and with purpose. And as soon as the words left his mouth, Jeremy was on top of him like a racehorse out of the starting gate. He kissed up Sonder's slender neck, brushing his nose up his skin. Sonder straddled Jeremy on the couch as drag queens yelled at each other. Jeremy grabbed a hold of Sonder's ass and pulled him closer while the other went up his shirt to play with Sonder's pierced nipples. It was all so much. And in such a position there wasn't much Sonder could do but to moan, whimper, and grind. He could feel Jeremy's erection pressing eagerly against his ass. Sonder had been hard almost the entire conversation. His own penis pressed into Jeremy's stomach.
"Is it too much?" Jeremy asked, coming up for air. Sonder shook his head immediately as he rubbed his ass pointedly against Jeremy's dick. The Lockhart fumbled at the fastening of Sonder's jeans, and Sonder stopped his grinding. "Does that ever work? You sweet moron, skinny jeans." He mumbled the words lovingly through kisses and bites before dislodging himself from Jeremy's lap. "My place or yours?" He giggled, pointing to his room. It was definitely the closest, and it was the one more equipped for penis on penis sex.
Jeremy grabbed the boy in a fireman's hold, having Sonder make an unsavoury noise as he was suddenly scooped up. And so easily... "Jeremy!" He protested, not-so-secretly loving it. It wasn't long before he was thrown back onto his own bed. He had bought himself an extremely impractical bed spread. Bright pink and fluffy, like a stuffed toy. It was not for having sex on. Sweet, stupid Jeremy didn't think of that at all and jumped on it eagerly. "Oh my god! If you got cum on this I'd actually skin you and use you as a bed spread instead. I'd Buffalo Bill your sweet ass." Sonder shoo'd his friend off the bed until it was just sheets. The sheets could handle it.
Jeremy looked so sweet standing beside the bed, waiting impatiently, dick literally in his hands for Sonder to ready himself. Lubricant on the bedside table, an array of condoms. Toys, if they wanted to. Sonder had come a long way since Caldwell, virginal and afraid, Moore. He wouldn't have to blow Jeremy to hint to him that he wanted to have sex. Jeremy only needed to see the hungry look in Sonder's eyes as he walked calmly around the bed to his best friend and pushed him into a seated position. He took Jeremy's chin between his thumb and forefinger and had the boy look up at him. "I'm down for anything, really. And I don't normally top. I'd rather ride than top. I'll top if you really want but I'd prefer to lay down on my Egyptian cotton sheets and have you ravish me." He brushed his thumb across Jeremy's kiss-swollen lips. He looked up at him with his silly puppy eyes. Clearly, he hadn't expected his teasing to come to this.
"I'm down for anything." He pulled on Sonder's wrist, making the boy giggle, as he fell back into his bed. Jeremy started by undressing him properly this time. Sonder's dick popped up lewdly as his pants were pulled roughly down, and he turned an even deeper shade of red. Jeremy managed to pull Sonder halfway down the bed with a tug of his jeans and Sonder had to do the rest, kicking them off unceremoniously.
"Your dick is perfect, what were you even talking about?" Jeremy didn't wait for an answer as he took the length in his warm mouth. Sonder's toes curled. Oh, God. It had been a while. He wouldn't have lied and said he'd never imagined Jeremy's mouth before. Even wanked off to it. But he was so.... Eager. Hungry. Sonder grabbed the boy by the hair and pulled him up, crawling over him, kissing and tasting the saltiness on his mouth.
Jeremy's jeans were easier to extract but they both giggled as the woolen jumper captured Jeremy's upper body. It gave Sonder an opportunity to tickle him at first, his first instinct, and then to lay him back and kiss all over his chest, flicking his tongue against his nipples. A contained Jeremy gave a muffled moan before being able to get the jumper off completely, and once he had his hands he put them to use. Jeremy spat in his hand and Sonder scoffed. They had lube right there! Jeremy appeared to not notice as he grabbed a hold of both of their dicks and let his saliva be the lube and... Oh. And it felt very nice, made nicer by the fact that Jeremy had a little dribble making a line of spit from his mouth to his dick. Sonder's toes curled.
He put his finger to the line of spit first, an attempt to wipe it up? But Jeremy took it as an excuse to take Sonder's finger in his mouth. His tongue flicked just deliciously and Sonder moaned. Jeremy was a well trained slut and Sonder hadn't taken advantage of it at all. Jeremy had been out fooling around all of Hogwarts and Sonder had been left masturbating to the thought of it. He had to make up for lost time now. He replied to the finger sucking by taking Jetrmy's big manly hand in his and sucking on his finger in kind. It was Jeremy's turn to moan as Sonder gave the boy a preview of what he could do to his thick dick once he got a a chance to. He looked down between them, at his own dick on top of Jeremy's. The similarities and the differences. And for once, he didn't care.
Jeremy had a wet finger now, which was exactly what he had planned. He pulled Sonder forward and kissed him deeply, lewly, his mouth hungry to taste, his lips bruising and teeth grazing. And with that, he pressed his wet finger against the warm hole of Sonder's ass. The boy cried out in shock and pleasure, and before Jeremy could very annoyingly ask if it was okay, Sonder pressed his hand against Jeremy's, making his finger go inside further. It felt so good, and Sonder could feel himself becoming overwhelmed. With their bodies so close together there was barely room for a hand on a dick anymore, but Sonder made do. With less of a stroking and more of a teasing of Jeremy's slit.
Sonder felt himself come, sticky and warm, all over Jeremy's stomach. And once Jeremy realised what was happening, he too added to the mess. Sonder let out a soft screech at the untidiness of it all and pressed his legs together in an attempt to contain the sea of semen. Jeremy only laughed, and being the friend he was, he threw Sonder off of him and let the jizz go everywhere. Sonder cried out in protest and as he did, Jeremy laid his full body weight over his stomach, cum and all. He shrieked, pushing at the mountain of a man on top of him to no avail.
"Disgusting! You have to wash my sheets."
"Why?! It's your fault as much as mine!"
"Be-Because I made an attempt! You're so gross, oh my god! Get off me!"
Jeremy obliged with a goofy, just-done-it look on his face. Sonder rolled his eyes. Covered in cum, he was already stripping the sheets around Jeremy's naked body.
"Get up, you big... God, you big goofy mess! C'mon, we can shower."
That manged to get him standing at least, and to be quite fair to him, he did put the washing on. Sonder sucked Jeremy off in the shower later that night. Jeremy returned the favour later in his own bed, but there was no mess that time.
They cuddled together as they had done a thousand times before. Jeremy's face against the back of Sonder's neck, Sonder absentmindedly tracing on the skin of the arm Jeremy threw over him.
"What am I meant to say to Cass?" He asked quietly, waited patiently for an answer, but Jeremy had fallen asleep. Sonder drifted off too, but only after worrying about his ethics for a few more hours.
