#esthread

[allloveisfolly]

open: m

Based on this

Essie's tired. Tired of pretending she's fine when she's not. Tired of making plans with him while already anticipating the late phone call that's going to leave her all dressed up with nothing to do but nurse her own quiet disappointment and attempt to distract herself. Tired of attempting to hold up a two person relationship entirely on her own. She's tired. She's also tired of remembering 'before'. When they were each the most important thing in each other's lives and they spent all day in classes together and went home to continue the conversations they'd already been having before falling asleep on the phone together and waking up to repeat the cycle. This morning, she'd donned a cap and gown, smiled for her mother's camera and spent the entire 2 hour ceremony craning her neck to try and find the one person she'd been looking forward to sharing this with the most. And she hates herself for believing him when he'd sworn over and over again that he'd be there. Blames herself for the pit of bitter disappointment that's lodged itself in her throat. She's choked up as she gives her valedictorian's address but the mood in the room helps her pass it off as tears of joy tinged with overwhelming nostalgia.

It's hours later now, almost midnight. After a celebratory dinner with all her family and friends in attendance (minus one obvious one), she sees his name flash on her phone screen and almost lets the call go to voicemail but the borrowed courage from the champagne in her bloodstream moves her thumb for her.

"I know this wasn't the Grammys or the People's Choice Awards or any of the other things that take up your time nowadays but it's pretty much the most important thing that's happened in my life so far and I wish that that mattered to you." The undercurrent there is that she wishes she mattered to him but she stops herself from saying it. "I know you're probably calling to say congrats so...thank you, I guess, but...I'm sure you've got something better to do."

[loveisfolly]

Sort of based on: x

Essie knows that she’s being unnecessarily reckless. She knows that she shouldn’t even be at this stupid party surrounded by people that she barely even knows but there’s something about the combination of the thumping baseline and the liquor coursing through her veins that helps drown out the sound of her own thoughts. She’s sprawled across a strange bed in a room she has no chance of recognising in lighting as dim as this and she can’t tell whose hands are running all over her body, stripping layers of clothing off as they go. She doesn’t even care though because at least she’s feeling something other than the all pervasive numbness that she hasn’t quite been able to get rid of recently. There’s the barest hint of a smile pulling on the corners of her mouth as she nods in response to a seemingly distant inquiry about getting more drinks. Then there’s a loud sound breaking the hazy mellowness of the moment and the force with which the door opens startles her. She’s barely pulled the covers up around herself before the light from the hallway comes pouring in. Between the silhouette and the easily recognisable tone of his voice she knows exactly who he is. “Before you say anything, I’m really not in the mood for one of your lectures...and I probably won’t remember anything you say when I wake up tomorrow anyway so there’s really no point.” She exhales loudly, bracing herself for the verbal onslaught that she’s sure he’ll continue with anyway.

[loveisfolly]

Based on: x

There are only two things Essie is sure of at the moment. She’s just been dumped by the boyfriend she’s had for the last four years of her life and she is absolutely, unmistakably drunk. She’s at least three martinis past her tolerance limit and she knows it. It took her five tries to get the front door open and now she’s stumbling through her kitchen, fixing herself yet another drink (because at this point, one more really can’t hurt) and an accompanying snack to go with it if she can manage that. There’s a sound to her left that she pivots toward and when she notices her housemate in the doorway, she can barely manage a smile and a wave before she has to steady herself on the fridge door. “You. You’re here...and shirtless...and hot. So hot. It’s really not fair just how hot you are...and I’m very drunk...and apparently very single...and not exactly terrible to look at. We should really fuck. It’s fate. The stars have aligned.”