summary : it took a whole month for milo to realize that maybe dating a fan you meet out in public isn’t the best idea he’s ever had.
characters : zhao honghui , jung yeonwoo , lee hayoon , some of solar ensemble are mentioned
genre : fluffy at the start but it gets more angsty near the end
warnings : swearing , talk of sex , they do fuck but i ended up not including the smut , lowkey manipulation if you squint , overall this is what not to do if you have an idol bf
words : 3.9k
[ february 20th, 2020, smk building cafe ]
“so... remember when we were at the airport last week when our flight was delayed?”
“yeah, what about it?”
honghui fiddled with the straw in his drink, watching the liquid swirl around as he tried to properly string his words together, “uh- basically i- i kinda met a girl?”
yeonwoo nearly choked on her drink.
“pfft- how on earth did you meet a girl at the airport for the hour we were separated?”
“did you not see the vlog from that day?”
“who are you kidding? i don’t watch our vlogs.”
“i-“ honghui chuckled, “it sounds so weird. so when i took minjae and jihoon with me to get a snack-“
“and you brought me back a cold coffee.”
“yeah. anyways, this girl- hayoon- was working at the counter, and she recognized me. she said something like, ‘are you milo from solar?’ i said, ‘yep, i am!’ and she started talking about how big of a fan she was, which was cool because we don’t meet many fans out and about like that.”
yeonwoo hummed, running her thumb down the side of her glass, leaving a dry stripe down the center of the condensation build. “so...? don’t stop there, tell me more!”
honghui nodded hastily, “yeah, we actually talked for a few minutes while my drinks and stuff were getting made, and we got along really well. she ended up slipping me her phone number with the order. we haven’t texted much but i have her instagram.”
“you’ve gotta talk to her!” yeonwoo exclaimed, slamming her hand on the table with each syllable for emphasis, “she seems sweet, shoot your shot dude.”
“shoot my-? nevermind. maybe i’ll find time to talk to her when promotions end, i’m a little busy right now,” honghui said, “i mean, we’re all a little busy.”
“you’d better.”
“i will!” honghui exclaimed, slightly taken aback by yeonwoo’s pushiness.
[ april 1st, 2020, solar dorms ]
the only light in the room was coming from honghui’s phone screen, the brightness fully down but somehow still too bright. it may have been the middle of the night, but promotions had just ended and he was texting with hayoon. well, more specifically he sent hayoon a text fifteen minutes prior and was nervously anticipating her reply. which had yet to come.
[ honghui : hey hayoon! just thought i’d say hi because promotions are over now and i have a bit of a break to talk :) ]
sent at 12:03 am
honghui sighed dramatically, then paused hearing minjae stir on the top bunk of the other bed. he forgot it was the middle of the night and people were actually sleeping.
he was so caught off guard by minjae that he didn’t even realize for a few seconds that his phone had buzzed.
[ new message from : lee hayoon ]
[ lee hayoon : hi milo! what’s up? ]
he swore the room got a few degrees warmer.
honghui quickly typed a message back, subconsciously bouncing his foot under the cover out of what was most likely nervousness, excitement, anticipation, who knows.
[ honghui : just wondering what you’re up to ]
[ lee hayoon : well, right now i’m getting ready for bed because it’s late. why aren’t you asleep? ]
[ honghui : i don’t know, if you want to go to sleep though i’ll let you ]
[ lee hayoon : it’s fine! i don’t mind talking for a while ]
[ honghui : are you sure? i don’t want to keep you up too late, i’ve got nothing going on tomorrow but i don’t know about you ]
[ lee hayoon : you’re so cute. it’s fine, i’m serious! ]
honghui felt his chest swell, as well as a strong urge to squeal into his pillow. but he didn’t, because that’s weird, and there were people sleeping a few feet away from him. a cute girl called him cute, and that absolutely made his heart melt.
he kinda lost track of time texting her. before he knew it, it was suddenly 2am and they had plans to hang out that friday. he could barely keep his eyes open.
[ honghui : i’m about to pass out. want to continue talking tomorrow? ]
[ lee hayoon : of course! goodnight :) ]
after reading her final message, honghui shut his phone off and turned over, smiling to himself. he’d consider that to be a pretty good night.
[ april 3rd, 2020, a random street corner ]
honghui stared at his phone eagerly, waiting for hayoon to say she was around the corner. they had decided to meet up and walk to the park nearby, where a couple of her friends might join her later that day. he was hesitant to this idea at first, but hayoon assured him everything would be fine. he was in such a good mood though that he didn’t let it bother him, not even the loud incessant honking of vehicles going down the street or the rather smelly dumpster in an alley behind him would dare taint his good mood.
suddenly his phone dinged, and he looked down to see a text from hayoon.
[ lee hayoon : i’m right around the corner! are you here yet? ]
honghui smiled excitedly before typing a message back.
[ honghui : yep! i’m wearing a long coat and a bucket hat lol ]
just then, a girl in a cute sporty jacket and chunky white sneakers walked around the corner and looked at him. it was hayoon, obviously, with her hands in her pockets and a big smile on her face.
“hi milo!” she said, waving excitedly at him. one of the first things he noticed about her was how short she was, not that that was a turn off or anything, but he had a good eight inches on her with her shoes on, he suspected she’d be about yongmi’s height without them, maybe shorter. it was cute.
“hi!” he said back, “you don’t need to call me milo by the way, my real name is fine.”
hayoon giggled nervously, “i totally would, i’m just really bad at pronouncing chinese words and names.”
“would calling me hyunsu make it easier? it’s my korean name, i don’t mind.”
hayoon nodded, smiling, “that works a lot better, i’ll remember that.”
as they walked to the park, they struck up friendly conversation with each other, hayoon told honghui about her new job at a cafe her aunt owns, and how she quit her job at the airport cafe because the transportation was too much of a hassle. honghui answered some questions she had about what being an idol is really like, and how their living situation is and all that. he was really starting to like her, she was cute, sweet, and fun to talk to.
eventually they got to the park, there wasn’t a lot there, but it was peaceful. it had a sort of serene vibe, an oasis within the concrete walls of the city.
they found a bench to sit down on which they stayed on for a while, continuing their conversations from the way over there. honghui never thought he’d learn so much about someone in a few hours, but by the time they were done, he knew the exact ages of her parents and siblings, he knew she had a tank of five fish each named after one of her favourite foods, he knew that she counted the stars through her window every night to help her fall asleep.
eventually, hayoon ran into a few of her friends while they walked around the park, and she introduced him as “her celebrity friend”. he thought that was... odd, but he didn’t say anything. they were nice enough, they asked him lots of questions about what it’s like being an idol, and he answered what he was allowed to. but before he knew it, the air was chillier and the sun was sinking down lower in the sky, giving him a signal that he probably should’ve gone back already.
as the candy floss clouds bled into the sunset, honghui bid his temporary goodbyes to hayoon and her friends, promising that they’d meet up again that weekend.
“so, i’ll see you again this weekend, right?” hayoon asked.
“definitely,” honghui replied, smiling softly with pink cheeks.
[ april 11th, 2020, hayoon’s living room ]
it didn’t feel like it had only been a week since the first time honghui and hayoon actually started hanging out.
this was officially their fifth “date”, and they had been texting 24/7, or at least it felt like they were. things were moving really fast. the first two times, they were out in public, but then their time time hanging out, hayoon took honghui to her apartment after he had come to visit her while she was working. she still lived with her mother, she was only 20 after all, and she was gonna start school soon and couldn’t afford to live on her own. her mother was out late working most nights though, so honghui never saw her.
this time, they were at her apartment, sitting in her living room watching a show. the heat wasn’t up far enough and both of them didn’t wanna get up to turn it off so hayoon resorted to cuddling up close next to honghui under their blanket, which made his heart race faster than he’d like to admit.
he really liked her, he’d already admitted that to himself, he’d also admitted it to yeonwoo right before he left that day. he could hear her voice ringing in her ears, saying, “tell her! you’ve got nothing to lose! she’s clearly interested in you.” maybe she was right.
“uh- hayoon?” he blurted out suddenly.
she looked over at him, “what’s up hyunie?” right. she had a nickname for him. maybe yeonwoo was right.
“i- uh-“ he started, trying to properly string his words together, but not getting far.
she smiled, chuckling slightly, “you what? spit it out! what do you-“
“i really like you.”
hayoon stared silently at honghui, which didn’t make him feel any better.
“oh god, sorry, that was sudden,” honghui replied quickly, his cheeks reddening, “it’s only been a week, i know, if you don’t feel the same i underst-“
hayoon cut off honghui’s rambling by sealing the gap between their lips, pressing hers against his. honghui didn’t know how to react at first, but soon sighed and relaxed into the kiss. the kiss was timid from honghui’s end, while hayoon smiled into the kiss before slowly pulling away.
honghui stared at her, dumbfounded, “so... is that a yes?”
hayoon laughed, “you’re so cute. and now i can tell people i kissed a celebrity.” honghui laughed along with that, but the laugh wasn’t as genuine as he thought it’d be.
[ april 13th, 2020, solar dorms ]
“you did WHAT?!”
“it all happened so fast! i- we just-“ honghui stumbled through his words, trying to make sense of everything that happened the previous night.
yeonwoo, who sat at the other end of the couch he was on, sighed, “that was a bit of an overreaction. i just can’t believe you lost your virginity before- literally anyone in this group who hasn’t lost their virginity yet!”
“i- don’t say it like that!” honghui’s cheeks burned as yeonwoo laughed, “it just happened, one thing led to another, you know, isn’t that how it usually goes?”
he couldn’t believe he lost his virginity to hayoon. the night after they first kissed, he visited her again, they watched their show again, and somewhere in there they kissed again. somehow that led to them making out, and then somehow that led to hayoon taking her shirt off, and somehow that led to them fucking. like he said, it all went by really fast.
“i can’t believe this.” yeonwoo groaned, “it’s been just over a week!”
“me neither,” she raised her eyebrows at honghui, “i didn’t expect us to go that far in the first place. but we did. and now i’ve lost my virginity to a fan i met at a damn airport.”
yeonwoo knitted her eyebrows together, “so... does this mean you two are a thing now?”
“i-“ he paused. were they a thing? he had no idea, they hadn’t had a serious conversation about it- at all.
“i don’t know,” honghui said finally, “we haven’t put a label on it, i guess.”
“are you going to?”
he shrugged, “maybe, we’ll see where it goes.”
yeonwoo sighed, looking at the ground, “how did you lose your virginity before me?” she laughed, lightly kicking honghui in the shin, to which he just shrugged in response, his cheeks burning a bright shade of vermillion.
[ april 19th, 2020, hayoon’s work ]
honghui officially had a girlfriend, and her name was lee hayoon.
they made it official the day after honghui had that talk with yeonwoo. he met up with hayoon and they talked about what they were, and since then, they’ve officially been boyfriend and girlfriend. so far, hayoon had been nothing but good to honghui, aside from all the “i’m dating a celebrity” jokes, which honghui found slightly obnoxious, but he chose to ignore it, because he liked her.
the cafe was relatively empty that time of day, so he found himself a table near the front door to sit down at and to wait for hayoon to finish her shift. he couldn’t see out the window well due to the building condensation, but it was overcast, and it had been raining most of the day. but today, instead of the gloomy weather reflecting his mood, honghui was feeling pretty good that day, he’d had a good three weeks, and he couldn’t see anything changing that.
when he saw hayoon emerge from the employee’s room, he stood up to greet her, but as he was about to walk over to her, the door opened. he looked over to see a small group of girls walking in, who hayoon obviously recognized, because she waved to them excitedly when they walked in.
more of her friends.
honghui sighed softly, he liked it better when they spent time together alone, but hayoon always had her friends around her. he knew her as a very social person, so he never thought much of it, but she didn’t seem to be with her friends a whole lot outside of when they hung out. it felt like almost every date now there was at least one of her friends present in some way.
he wasn’t one to protest though, so he kept silent on the issue.
“hi guys!” hayoon exclaimed as she walked over to the area where they all stood, reaching up to placing a hand on his shoulder. “hi hyunie,” she whispered, standing on the tips of her toes to try and kiss his cheek. he was so much taller than her that he had to lean down so she could reach his cheek.
“hi,” he whispered through gritted teeth.
[ april 24th, 2020, hayoon’s work ]
honghui opened the door to the cafe very slowly, seeing hayoon behind the counter with her back turned to him. with a small bouquet of flowers in his hand and a grin on his face, he snuck up to the counter to surprise her. before he came to visit her, he visited a nearby flower shop and picked up a small bouquet for her, no occasion in particular, he just felt like giving her something.
he paused when he realized she was talking on the phone to someone. now, he was never a nosy person, but he couldn’t help but eavesdrop a little on the conversation she was having.
“no, not today... yeah, he keeps saying he wants to be alone with me... god no not like that! he doesn’t like when i bring a lot of friends along...”
honghui’s face fell as she continued.
“it’s not possessive, he’s a celebrity after all... i’m not just dating him because he’s a celebrity! i mean, that may be part of it... no, but-“
hayoon froze when she turned around to see honghui there. he quickly hid the bouquet behind his back.
“hi, hyunie! you’re early, give me a second-“ she spoke quickly before she went back to her phone, quietly explaining that she was gonna hang up. once she did, she turned back to the boy at the counter with a smile, “how long have you been here? hopefully not long so you didn’t have to hear me talking on the phone for so long. me and my friends talk a lot.”
he shook his head quickly, forcing a smile on his face, “nope. just got here,” he lied through his teeth.
“that’s good,” hayoon said, walking around the counter to meet him on the other side, “did you get me flowers?” she gasped, seeing the bouquet in his hand. he nodded quickly and held them out for her to take.
“i love them!” she exclaimed, kissing his hand because she couldn’t reach his cheek. he softened seeing her reaction to the flowers, a genuine smile creeping across his lips.
[ april 27th, 2020, hayoon’s apartment ]
when honghui walked in, hayoon was laying on the couch, watching tv like usual. he didn’t even say hi to her, he didn’t need to, he just walked over to the couch and climbed on top of her, his head resting on her chest. she eventually fell asleep, and honghui tried to, but he didn’t feel like sleeping and he wouldn’t be able to even if he wanted to. whether it was the late afternoon sunlight pouring in through the thin curtains or the tv blaring, something was keeping him up.
he perked up when he heard hayoon’s phone buzz from on the floor beside the couch, also waking hayoon up. she didn’t check her phone, however, instead she tried to get up. she didn’t get very far though, because honghui wrapped his arms around her waist.
“don’t get up, you’re warm.”
hayoon tried to wriggle her way out of his grasp, “i’m just going to the bathroom, i’ll be right back.” he made a little sound of disapproval, but let go of her, flopping back down onto the couch as she stood up and left the room.
he groaned when her phone started dinging constantly. once again, he was never much of a nosy person, but curiosity got the better of him. he peered over the side of the couch to see what was so important that they had to sent six messages in a row.
[ message from : bestie 👯♀️ ]
that wasn’t really much of an indicator.
[ bestie : hayoooooon ]
[ bestie : are you there?? ]
[ bestie : or are you with your celebrity boyfriend again lol ]
[ bestie : come on he literally takes up so much of your time talk to meee ]
[ bestie : i mean i get it he’s your boyfriend but you keep saying he’s clingy ]
[ bestie : he’s gonna get in the way of our friendship lol ]
he suddenly wished he didn’t read those texts.
he was already an over thinker, but that might made it ten times worse. did hayoon think he was clingy? he didn’t think he was that clingy, but how clingy was too clingy for hayoon? he rolled on his back, sighing loudly, maybe it was just a misunderstanding, that was his solution to everything, just a misunderstanding.
that was when hayoon came back from the bathroom, walking over to the front of the couch. “you okay?” she asked, seeing him sprawled out staring up at the ceiling in thought.
he turned his head towards her hearing her voice, sitting himself up on the couch, “yeah. i think i’m gonna head back though, i don’t feel great.”
“that’s fine, is everything okay though?” she asked.
“yeah, it’s fine, i’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, standing up to give her a peck on the lips before grabbing his shoes and walking out the door.
he stayed up thinking a lot that night.
[ april 29th, 2020, solar dorms ]
this was the last straw.
over the last week there had been a lot of little occurrences that have almost set honghui off, but for some reason, this was the one that made him snap.
honghui and hayoon were in the middle of texting, and she accidentally sent him a text that was very obviously meant for someone else. normally this wouldn’t have been a big deal, but the message had something to do with how she wouldn’t like him as much if he wasn’t an idol.
[ hayoon : no he’s a sweetheart but not the type of person i’d date it he weren’t a celebrity ]
she deleted it quickly and apologized, but he’d already seen enough. he called her immediately, asking for an explanation.
“it’s not what it seems like, i swear, we were just joking around-“
“seems like a pretty weird thing to joke about, don’t you think?” honghui replied flatly.
“our humour is just like that. hyunie, listen-“
“don’t call me hyunie right now.” his voice dripped with venom. he’d only ever spoken with hayoon in the sweetest, warmest sounding voice, it didn’t sound like him at all. it scared hayoon a little quite frankly. “joke or not, it’s degrading. i just want you to be honest with me.”
hayoon sighed, “hyunsu, i’m sorry-“
“i want honesty, that’s all i want,” honghui replied, his voice softening a little. “i wouldn’t be making a big deal out of this if it wasn’t for everything that’s happened this week. the call, the texts-“
“so you did hear that phone call?”
“that’s not my point. so unless you have an explanation for all of this, i’m gonna hang up. be honest with me, if you don’t want to date me, say it to my face.”
“hyunsu, i...” her voice broke slightly, and honghui softened again. he still really likes her, so the fact that he had to do this fucking sucked. it felt like it was tearing his heart in half.
“you what, hayoon? spit it out.”
“i like you, i really do. but the reason i started dating you was because you were a celebrity, i got excited at the idea of dating a celebrity. and yeah, maybe if you weren’t famous i wouldn’t have been so quick to start dating you, but that doesn’t mean-“
honghui sighed, “i think i’ve heard enough.”
“wait! i’ll explain myself, i really do like you-“
“i like you too. but this fucking hurts, hayoon. would you like it if someone started dating you for your public status?”
hayoon sniffled so quietly it was almost inaudible, and her voice wavered slightly, “hyunsu-“
“i’ve heard enough. i don’t want to deal with this anymore.” honghui said bitterly. “goodbye, hayoon. find some other boy’s heart to break.”
and with that, he hung up.
they were over. a small part of honghui hoped that entire conversation would turn out to be a misunderstanding. they’d make up, and things would go back to normal. but sometimes, life doesn’t work out in your favour. sometimes it treated you like a little kid would a daisy they found in the grass- plucking you clean. which sounded like an exaggeration, but to honghui, a hopeless romantic who thought he and hayoon really had something, it wasn’t.
that was it. they were over. honghui hated it but he tried to remind himself that it was better this way.
that didn’t make it any easier.