#eternalobserving

[eternalobserving]

I write I search

For the perfect words

I seek I find

Fleeing birds

I wish I knew

Just what to say

I wish I didnt

Feel this way

- Sometimes words and thoughts just don't help. Sometimes you just gotta be lost for a little while. While lost though, don't give up hope. It's the beacon that lights your way back.

[eternalobserving]

Dry your eyes

Look to the sky

Do you see the beauty?

The beauty as I?

Magical mystical

Moving through space

My mind's on you

Your smile, your face.

I see the stars

I see the scars

I see the matter

Of all you are

Stellar and stunning

I have no doubt

I'll love in this world

Til I'm all loved out

- some grow cold while still alive. This will not be me. I'll live and love with such warmth my body stays lingering til the cold earth takes my final devotion. I call for a changing of sayings. "Never grow Cold" we're gonna get greys or go bald one day. It doesn't mean we have to grow bitter. Smile, life is good. Even when it's bad, it's life and that is good. You would rather have your brain and it's turmoils than none at all I'd think.

[eternalobserving]

A 1000 pounds

An entire ton

It matters not

The weight upon

I carry on

I refuse to quit

I climb the mountain

Then atop I sit

- literal weight, figurative.. it's never mattered. Whether through brain or brawn i carry on and find a way. That's all that matters. Having hope. And working truly in effort for a better future.

[eternalobserving]

If I gave you the world

Would you even believe

Would you think I was fake

Would you force me to leave

If I saved your heart

Would you thank me kindly

Would you blame me

And stab back blindly

If I painted your beauty

Would you swoon and sigh

Would you rip it to shreds

Mock it and cry

If I guarded your dreams

Would you love me more

Would you hate my greed

Or would you settle the score

- There are good men who have carried much through life. Trying time and again. There are ones still trying to be a knight, a chivalry gentleman. But for each our own reasons, we doubt. When you have given everything you have and are to someone, doing it again feels insane. There may be elaboration on this in rant form later..

P.s. do you see it? The dichotomy that continues to flow.

[eternalobserving]

Anyone that puts their fear above their love will make reality just that. More fearsome than kind. More cruel than patient. If you refuse to take on the role they think the world is, then they'll take it on themselves.

[eternalobserving]

When I was 7, I started to build a boat. We had spare wood. I had spare time. I worked all summer. It was rickety, leaning, and far from able to float. By the time we were moving again, it was nothing more than more scrap for the fire. A fire that would grow out of control and threaten our safety in the end. My brother had a panic attack, while my mom and I dug a small trench around the fire then used the dirt to douse it. In the end, not only was the boat part of the problem. My time had led only to more hardships. I was only sad I never got to sail.

When I was 12 I started to build a clubhouse...

[eternalobserving]

Beaten til broken

Cracked and swollen

Healing forgotten

Dreams forsaken

A Fallen angel

I'm Demon taken

I'd be a lesser man

If I cared what you're thinking

- I see the darkness in me. Other's see a pillar. I am not hollow. Truly solid as steel. And yet.. what is this weakness... this darkness that lingers, looms, and still grasps. Even further, why am I so god damn determined to get up and fight. They see the weapon.. I feel the shells, combustion, gunpowder. They have no idea the science that goes into carrying it all.

[eternalobserving]

So many thoughts... its hard to say.. i wish they'd spill instead they stay.

- ? Poem