#ethereality

[sparklypinkangel]

[starwarskawaii]

Ethereality

Part 1

A/N: Presenting a new contender for the title of the most fucked up member of the Thunderbolts; Ethereality. She's kind of an oc, but this is still an x reader fic. If you picture me when you read this, I will not be surprised😅 She's similar to Libby, but she has a very different power set.

This series was inspired by the Silhouette and Silhouette in Bloom series by @gayandbasic.

CW: Set in Marvel's timeline, ahead of our own, swearing, child abuse mention, heavy themes of depression, typical Thunderbolts stuff, slow burn because neither of these two have any idea how to feel stuff

Two Months Post-Void Incident.

You saw your own reflection in the elevator doors as you entered. Valentina and Mel flanked you, and Valentina droned on about responsibility and the team she would be shoving you into. You barely recognized yourself. You hadn't had a proper look in the mirror since the morning before the mission that killed your partner and stole your life. From what you could see, the light was gone. You looked hollow. Like you had been carved out and filled with something that didn't belong in you. Like a pumpkin on Halloween. Power pulsed in your veins, but your eyes only showed a miserable woman who had been beaten into submission and forced to become something she never imagined she could be.

You knew the pep talk was all for show. She wanted a mole, plain and simple. Why she thought you would do that for her, you weren't sure. Your body was enhanced, not your imagination. You were already desperately taking in the building layout to make an escape at the first possible opportunity. You weren't sure what you would do once you were free. You had heard about a few different rackets in New York that got people out. It was a more important business than ever, after Fisk's anti-vigilante initiatives a few years back. You were glad that was over, it would make the escape easier.

You shifted uncomfortably as the elevator began it's ascent. Your new gear was uncomfortable. It wasn't made for you. It was made for Valentina's Murder Barbie that she wanted you to be. It was somewhere between Carol Danvers and Natasha Romanoff, in a godawful red, white, and blue colorway that seemed to you to be mocking the bright-eyed rookie agent who Valentina had sent to die all those years ago. You weren't her anymore. Gone was any loyalty to a cause. Your only loyalty was to your own survival, and to making it seem like you were complying so your leash would be loosened.

Val had become bold since the "success" of the Sentry Project. You were the original success. A different project entirely. A precursor, inspired by the original Avengers. In their quest to make the next Steve Rogers, they made you. They triggered a mutation in you on top of cracking a similar super soldier serum. Your physical abilities were between Yelena and John. But your telekinetic and reality distortion abilities surpassed those of the Sentry. Especially since you could actually use yours without plunging Manhattan into a pitch black nightmare. She had long ago moved you from OXE to the custody of another cartoonishly evil company. Which is why you had the great privilege of getting to live through her purge. You had essentially been trafficked to the highest bidder in a much more humane, but no less illegal, manor.

The elevator doors opened, and you braced for the worst. Valentina had told you stories. Stories of a World War II vet who became the world's most dangerous assassin, a hot-headed murderer who took an unstable serum not unlike your own, a Black Widow assassin, an assassin who walked through walls, and... an idiot Russian man. She also mentioned a failed experiment of hers' that she "lets them keep as a pet". You thought that one must be the Sentry Project survivor. You were bracing yourself for a rough and scarred group of individuals, all glaring daggers at each other, and, subsequently, you. You were not expecting the sight you were met with.

The Watchtower had a big, sprawling common room. The one you had walked into, you would later learn, wasn't even the one they usually used. That one was upstairs. This room was filled with things that reminded you of the rec center in college. A Foosball table, air hockey table, a giant 70s style sunken conversation couch in an unsightly gray-blue, carpet ball(you would later learn this was John's request, and the 1 solitary thing you could agree on), a snack station with a fridge and popcorn maker, and a full entertainment center with a DVD player and several game consoles. Sitting on the couch were six people who didn't look anywhere near as cruel as she made them sound.

One of them- the pet, you suspected -looked even more nervous than you felt. He kept rocking back and forth and fiddling with his sleeves, looking as though he wished he could vanish into the air. Perhaps it was the fact that you hadn't been on a date in years, but he was actually rather... cute. He had a sort of boyish look to him, even though he had rather chiseled features. His brown hair fell in soft curls that framed his face, the rest tied back as best he could manage, blue eyes the most wonderful shade of stormy ocean--- you definitely were suffering from the effects of not seeing a man who wasn't experimenting on you for the first time in years. That had to be it. You glanced around quickly at the others, receiving small smiles from the two women, and a nod from the two younger-looking men. The man with the brown hair was looking at his feet, and the big Russian was already talking about "having a new family member". As if. You were there for a mission as far as they were concerned, and a grand escape to Madripoor as far as you were concerned. No need for empty platitudes about family.

Valentina cleared her throat. "Yes yes Alexei, but that's not why I've gathered you here today." The blond haired woman glared at Valentina as she stated that. The very idea of Valentina having authority over her clearly made her bristle. "I've gathered you all here today to introduce you to your new teammate, who you can call Ethereality-"

"That's not my name," the word's tumbled out before you realized you were speaking. "My name is Y/N. Just because I can make things float and distort reality doesn't mean I don't have a name."

Valentina pursed her lips, giving you a look of utter disgust before continuing her spiel. "As I was saying... Miss Y/N," she said, putting extra emphasis on your name while she looked at you with vitriol in her eyes, "will be your new team member. I think you'll find her unique skill set very useful, since, as you all so aptly put it, "all of you just punch and shoot stuff"." Ah. So her disgust wasn't reserved just for you. Relieving, in a way.

■■■■■

One Month Post Ethereality's Introduction

You stood in the kitchen, barely able to comprehend the sight before you. You were too old for this. Yet, somehow, in spite of you and Bob being the youngest ones in the tower, the two of you were the only ones not involved. Save for Bucky, who was on a mission. Breakfast had turned into a full blown battle. Pancakes had been thrown. You and Bob stood in a corner together, watching in disbelief as the grown adults you lived with engaged in a full-scale food fight.

You had been able to deflect everything so far. If there was any method to their madness you would have dragged Bob out the door at the first opening, and treated him to breakfast even though you were both in your pajamas. It was New York. People had seen weirder. Maybe not from an Avenger and that guy who always hung around the Avengers, but still.

As you considered your exit strategy, Ava yelled something about starving children and food waste while reaching her arm through the fridge door and pulling out an egg to crack over John's head, startling him and causing him to toss a pancake into the air. Before you could act, Bob practically leapt in front of you to swat the pancake out of the air.

That was it. "ENOUGH!" You shouted, freezing them in their spots. You hated to use your powers outside of the field or training, but desperate times... "We are all grown adults! Clean this up! Bob and I are going out to get food, and this kitchen better be spotless by the time we get back!" Bob nodded his head in agreement as you spoke.

John nodded meekly. Yelena and Ava mumbled "okay" and "alright", respectively. Alexei pouted, and then promptly received an elbow to the rib by Yelena. You grabbed Bob by the hand and stormed out of the kitchen, stopping only to grab your wallet.

Since your arrival a month ago, you had only become close to Bob. You tolerated the others in varying degrees. You got along with the women. The men... were another story. You respected Bucky, at least. But the only person you had real conversations with was Bob. It had started two weeks ago, when Bob had gotten up for a midnight snack, wandered into a common room, and found you trying to climb into the vents. Surprisingly unsuccessfully, for someone with your training. In hindsight, you realized that Valentina probably knew you would try to escape...

■■■■

Two Weeks Ago

The tower was quiet, except for the sound of your pulse. You felt 16 again, waiting for your dad to get home after he stormed out of the house, threatening not to come back because of how "awful" you were being, the sarcastic words of a child cutting him deeply in spots they were meant to irritate at best. Valentina reminded you of your father. She was more intelligent. More calculated. She never laid a hand on you directly. But she made you feel the way he did. That bone deep knowledge that this person could kill you. That all it takes is one infraction that they decide is too far, and your body will be broken on the floor.

Most of the team followed a pretty strict routine. But tonight, you didn't have to worry about that. Everyone was on a mission. Except for Bob, of course. You had learned their sides of the story right after Valentina left. Their stories, save for Alexei's, were all far more believable than her's had been. They aligned with the kind of evil you already knew she was capable of. But Bob was just Bob. He couldn't stop you. He wouldn't. Besides, while he was a more of a night owl than the others, he still usually followed a general schedule. You had waited till past midnight. He was never up this late.

Little did you realize, Bob was never up this late because of Bucky and Yelena. Without them, he was prone to late nights and early mornings. Not waking, just staying up. At the very moment that you sat crouched next to the vent, desperately trying to break out of the house in the most impractical way possible, Bob wandered into the common room. He blinked. He couldn't be seeing this. Did you know that the doors were unlocked?

"Uh... Y/N?" Bob called out cautiously. "What are you doing?" You startled and fell over, nearly receiving a screw driver to the head as it flew out of your hand when you fell. Thank God for telekinesis. 

"Why do you want to know?" You snapped at him from your place on the ground. You were not prepared for this. Bob was the only one you sort of liked.

"Uh... because the front door is unlocked. And because Valentina made those things basically impenetrable after Lena kept going into them to prank people." You bristled internally at his use of a nickname for Yelena. You weren't sure why it bothered you that a man you had known for two weeks had a nickname for a woman you had also known for two weeks.

You sat up and brushed yourself off before you began to speak. "Ha... was it people, or was it John?" No, no, no! Why were you engaging?!

"John. I suppose you're right, not really people". He chuckled a little, then resumed his concerned expression, "Why are you trying to leave?"

You turned and looked him in the eyes. And you melted a little. He looked so confused.

"I don't want to be here. I've been held captive by her and others like her for years now. I want a life. I can't leave through the front door because the cameras will see me. In here they're disabled. Yelena did it and Val never fixed it, figuring it was a losing battle. If I leave through the door, the receptionist will grill me about what I'm doing and send an army after me if I'm gone for too long. This would give me a better chance..."

Bob's heart broke a little. He understood you perfectly. But he also didn't want you to go. Your powers enchanted him. You enchanted him. You lived up to the name Val had given you. You truly were ethereal in his eyes. You put up the illusion of being cold and uncaring, but he saw your face as each member of the team explained what brought them there. He saw your empathy when he timidly explained his childhood. He could swear he even saw a look on your face that suggested that his stories sounded all too familiar.

"Ethereal- Y/N. I'd- I'd like you to stay." Bob stammered out. He reached out to you, his hand softly brushing your own. As he went in to squeeze your hand and continue his plea, the world around you both shifted.

Suddenly, you were no longer in the Watchtower. You were back in a lab, terrified. Men in lab coats watched from behind a protective glass window as you demonstrated your powers against your will. You watched your past self in horror as you were forced to perform your strength for them.

Bob stood awkwardly, watching the scene in front of him unfold. It wasn't like the other shame rooms he had seen- well, heard he had seen. You weren't doing anything wrong. Your shame was from being used. From being helpless. Bob looked at you- the real you -with recognition on his face.

The scene changed. The lab transformed into a suburban house. Smaller than the one Bob grew up in. Garish wallpaper from the 70s lined the walls, old and stained carpeting covered the floors, peeling up in some areas, an ugly and beat up brown couch in a jacquard print sat against one wall, a TV across from it. In the middle of the scene was a teenager who must have been you, and a man Bob instantly knew was your father. Unlike Bob's father, the man screaming at you was terrifyingly sober. You shook as he yelled at you for a minor infraction- one you hadn't even committed, at that -and lifted his hand towards your face. The sound of skin hitting skin seemed to echo through the room. To Bob's surprise, the slap came not from your father, but from you. You hit him as a reflex. You were promptly hit back, much harder than you could hit him.

In an instant, you two were returned to the tower. You sat on the floor, looking more shaken than Bob thought possible for you. Tears streamed down your face, your body shook, and the horror of reliving something you had tried to push down and forget was etched into your features.

"I am so, so, so sorry! I didn't mean-"

"It's alright," you said throught tears, voice shaking in a way that betrayed you, "Now you know. Now you know why I'm so desperate to get out. My entire life has been spent at the mercy of others. I can't- I can't do this." You choked out, before sobs stole your voice.

Bob knelt down, tentatively. He moved slowly, giving you time to push him away, wrapping his arms around you, careful not to make contact with skin.

You weren't sure how long the two of you stayed that way, but you didn't leave that night.

■■■■

Bob sat awkwardly across from you in the diner booth. He felt a little afraid to speak as he watched you attack your food like it was John and Alexei and you were getting revenge for that stupid food fight. All because those idiots couldn't just make pancakes AND waffles.

He fiddled with his napkin as you looked up suddenly, as if remembering you were across from the one person in the house you didn't want to murder. At this moment, you became aware of how ridiculous you to must look. An Avenger in Princess Peach pajamas, courtesy of Valentina's credit card, and her friend in a threadbare gray burnout t-shirt that had seen better days, and green plaid pajama pants that hung low on his hips. Completed by you being in sneakers that you weren't entirely sure were actually yours, given how fast you bolted out the door, and Bob in his house slides. Anyone seeing the two of you might easily have mistaken you two for a couple that didn't want to cook.

The idea unsettled you. Being perceived as an average human with an average life. Being perceived at all. And, especially, being perceived as being Bob's, well, anything. The idea of being Bob's sat strangely in your stomach, making your pancakes feel impossible to swallow. The idea wasn't wholly unappealing, you supposed... You dismissed those thoughts as part of all your other worries.

Bob, sensing that you were stressing yourself out, and remembering that you didn't bite, only distort reality, decided to start some conversation to pull you back to Earth. "Uh, so Y/n, you, uh, you like Princess Peach?" He smiled nervously.

"What? Oh, yeah, these... Yeah, I loved Mario games as a kid." You looked out the window, finding yourself missing it. You didn't have a good childhood- far from it -but you missed your biggest concern being your dad, rather than people who essentially owned you.

Bob perked up, sensing a safe conversation topic. "So, did you see the movies, then?" You glanced back at him, confusion lacing your expression.

"Movies?"

"Movies. I guess you would have been... you know... during the time they came out. The cinema downtown is playing them as a double feature this weekend. Maybe we could go?" Bob said, the look on his face and the tone of his voice betraying his desire to take you.

"Sure, why not? Are they any good?"

Bob perked up instantly, his face brightening and posture straightening. He spent the next 30 or so minutes giving you updates on basically everything Nintendo you might have missed the last few years. For a little while, at least, you felt at ease.

■■■■

Lunch had come and gone by the time the two of you had returned. It turned out to be easy to lose track of time with Bob. You had gone to the movies, then stopped at a store to grab some games with Valentina's card, inspired by the movies, then grabbed clothes when you realized it was lunch time and you should probably look presentable by now. After your shopping trip, you had a nice lunch at a cafe Bob suggested.

If the two of you were smarter, you probably would have come back from breakfast and changed, catching a later showing, rather than leave the house and come back in different clothes. If it made your idiotic housemates suspicious, they said nothing, save for Yelena giving Bob a knowing expression and eyebrow wiggle that you missed entirely. Bob wanted to die a bit in that moment, suddenly aware that he left the house with a woman in a hurry and came back hours later in different clothing.

Maybe the years underground had dulled your common sense. The idea that anyone would think you and Bob did anything untoward didn't occur to you until after you flopped down onto your bed. You sat up at the realization, then began unpacking your bags to ignore the growing anxious dread at being ribbed on that was bubbling up in your chest.

You laid out the new games, then went to the door to grab the bag Bob had graciously carried up for you. Inside was a brand new Switch 2, so you could play with Bob. It was his idea, actually. You were content to use one of the shared consoles in the tower to game on, but Bob had talked you into having your own by less than subtly hinting that he wanted someone to play his games with. You had a strong suspicion that his main reason for all of this was to get you to actually enjoy something. He had recently made a comment about you needing a hobby that didn't involve a punching bag with John's face taped to it.

The idea of Bob caring about you and for you made you bristle. Again. You didn't feel ready to be a person again. You weren't even sure if you still were one. Maybe you could be, one breakfast out and video game at a time.

■■■■

Another day, another training session. Bob watched intently as his friends sparred, paying special attention to you and Yelena. The latter, his best friend, the former, the snake that thusfar only he had been able to charm.

You walked up to the mat for match number two in a best out of three with John. Every other match up had been one and done, but he didn't like losing much. Especially not to someone he knew he was stronger than. While it was true that he was stronger, it wasn't like you were going to avoid using your powers in the field, so why would you in training? As it turned out, John didn't like having the mat yanked out from under him.

Bob stared as you and John began to fight. While John opted for traditional- and extremely predictable - moves, you made liberal use of your unique skillset. The telekinesis was typically enough to defeat John, but today you felt like experimenting. Bob watched as you dissapeared and the world around you shifted. It glowed like a dream. You reappeared a few feet to the left, causing John to promptly lunge for you. Except, as Bob had already guessed, it wasn't you. It was one of your tricks. You appeared back in the spot you originally vanished from, snickering.

"So, calling it quits yet?" You taunted as you stood over John, who was presently on the floor, tapping his fingers on the ground with one hand and propping himself up with the other. He looked like Wyle E Coyote missing the roadrunner.

"You fight dirty." John said, brushing himself off and walking out of the room, glaring daggers at you.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Bob burst out laughing. It surprised you so much that you began to laugh, too.

"Ethereal... that was amazing!" Bob said, still laughing. You felt your face heat, both at the praise, and at the nickname that Bob had come up with for you.

"Well... class dismissed I suppose." Bucky looked exhausted. "I'll go... deal with John."

"That was pretty good." Yelena said as she walked out behind him, giving you an approving nod.

Alexei and Ava both gave an approving nod as they followed. Only Bob remained with you.

"Well. That was fun." Bob grinned. It was the kind of smile that made all the lines in his face show, and the corners of his eyes crinkle. It made you feel a pang in your chest that you couldn't quite name. "Wanna go play Mario Kart since training is over?"

"Sure, just as long as we do it one of our rooms. The last thing I want is to deal with John being a sore loser for a third time today," you chuckled.

■■■■

Later, the Watchtower

You and Bob had played Mario Kart, petted Alpine, discussed what would happen if you tried to dress her up, received death glares from her at the idea, and then fetched Cucumber, and discussed what clothing might fit him. You were now holding Cucumber looking over his shoulder while Bob scrolled through guinea pig clothes online.

When did your life get so... peaceful? You spent years feeling like you were being hunted for sport, but without any of the perks, like actually dying. Now here you were, so close to Bob you were almost touching, after a day of comparatively light training and Mario Kart, well-rested and chilling with a guinea pig.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt. Just looking for my pet." Yelena had thrown open the door, jarring you out of your thoughts, and making Cucumber(and you, and Bob) startle. "There you are my little картофель!"

"Karto- wha-?"

"Potato. It means potato, Bob. Now, I shall take him," she said, reaching for the little creature as you raised your arms to hand him off, "and let his Uncle Bob and Aunty Y/N go back to their quality time." Yelena gave you two a knowing and utterly mortifying smile as she headed out the door with her guinea pig, closing it behind her.

You felt your face heat, not daring to look at Bob. If you would have, you would have seen him turning a shade of crimson previously unseen on human skin. It was clear Yelena thought you two were doing... something. Something you most certainly were not. You felt whatever fragile thing you two had built crumbling in your mind.

"Uh, Y/N? You okay? Sorry about Yelena, she, uh, she does that to fuck with me. I mentioned us hanging out to her and she started teasing. Sorry." Oh. For some reason, this revelation almost stung. Maybe it was because he was the only person you let yourself be close to. The only one who had been hurt in the same normal ways that you had. Not some secret organization, but a dad who only ever seemed to hurt you. You collected yourself quickly, though clearly not quickly enough, and assured Bob it was fine.

Later, in your room, you found yourself wondering yet again what it was about Bob that made your senses go haywire and your common sense go out the door. Whatever it was, you knew Bob couldn't feel the same way about you. You were certain you weren't worth that.

■■■■

While you spiraled alone in your room, Bob was spiraling with Alpine on his lap in his. Why did Yelena have to say that? He had already texted her, clearly very annoyed, telling her she had scared you off. But it was more than that.

Long before he had superpowers that let him see people's worst moments, Bob was a perceptive child. The kind of child you have to be to survive in an abusive household. Always hyper-aware of the smallest changes in mood. Unfortunately, he always assumed that the worst possible interpretation of events was the true one. From what he could tell, you two were cut from the same cloth. And that cloth had holes burned into it by your fathers.

He sat in his bed, nervously petting Alpine, going through a list of terrible things you might be thinking of him at that moment. You probably thought he had misled Yelena on what kind of relationship you two had and now you were disgusted and wanted nothing to do with him. Or the idea never occurred to you before, but now it did and you were disgusted and wanted nothing to do with him.

There was some rational part of him that guessed at the more accurate answer to why you left- that you had never in your life had a safe space to feel anything and so you had a tendency to, often literally, run off whenever strong emotions hit like a cat does when it's sick -but Bob often missed the obvious while he was spiraling.

A notification on his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. He hoped it was you. He wasn't even sure why. It wasn't you anyways; it was Yelena, responding to his very irritated text from earlier, saying she was going to come to his room so she could ask him what was really wrong.

Yelena threw open Bob's door in extremely dramatic Yelena fashion, holding a bowl of mac and cheese doused in hot sauce and wearing a set of Black Widow pajamas. At least she had the courtesy to shut the door behind her, even if she could never be bothered to knock.

"I saw your friend out in the hallway going into the kitchen. She glared at me. I asked if she wanted to come with me to your room and she glared at me even harder and scoffed. She is not nice." Yelena made a face as she plopped herself down on Bob's bed, startling Alpine.

Bob pouted as he watched Alpine retreat under the bed, prompting Yelena to clear her throat in the most exaggerated manner possible.

"I... I'm worried that what you said earlier freaked out Y/N. She bolted out not long after you left, and she looked uncomfortable the whole time beforehand. I'm worried she thinks I like her, or something."

Yelena raised her eyebrows. "Is this you... not liking her? How attached will you be if you like her?"

"I'm not-" Bob began, the words dying on his lips. He wasn't sure what was happening, if he was being honest. "I- I don't know. I really don't. Part of it is that she understands me so well. And I understand her. We, uh, we have similar pasts."

Yelena raised an eyebrow. "Similar as in... drugs? Or as in shitty abusive fathers? Or just the being experimented on thing?"

"I- it's not my place to say. Well, other than the experimented on part. We do have that in common. But, like, so do Ava and Bucky." Bob gave a nervous chuckle, an adorable nervous half-smile gracing his face.

Yelena smirked. "You don't have to know how you feel, Bob. But if you care about her, you should let her know. I get the feeling she hasn't heard people tell her that much."

Bob nodded. Lena was right. He should at least tell you he cared.

A/n: little note for the the Void scene, apparently Jake said that Bob only takes people into the void at his lowest. I am implying based off of that idea that Bob was already in a low place when Ethereal wanted to leave. Seeing her leaving felt personal for Bob.

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[theonlylivingirlinewyork]

TALK TO ME AS I AM SLEEPING HOLD ME WHILE IM DREAMING

HONESTLY I COULD JUST BREATHE YOU IN

MET YOU WHEN MY HEART WAS BLEEDING IM CONSTANTLY FEELING

CHASING THROUGH AN ENDLESS REVERIE

[mesonoxian-maxx]

[nymphfrill]

Deer and white fawn

[cumuluslife]

Garden Roses and Moonlight

Art Print / Products

[k0k1ch1111]

Ghost au character profiles / fashion senses!!! For funniest

Part one-- main group

Kokichi Ouma

HIS vibe

Shuichi Saihara

His vibe (I know it's cliché to make him emo but idc...)

Maki Harukawa

Her vibe

Kaito Momota

I'm so sorry I can't draw him but I have this

His vibe (It's all matpat bc he's the only like.... masculine man I can find wearing flashy jackets and patterns)