writing this here bc i don’t feel good sending it to friends or keeping it to myself
my friend’s funeral was today and i couldn’t go because i’m at school and it’s finals. i’m also starting a mental health program that i cant really miss. trying not to think abt it
my mom texted me after she went, and told me she saw the adjustment counselor from my high school there, along with the therapy dog she has. being reminded of her and thinking about death reminded me of when she literally saved my life by sending me to the ER. it kind of hurts my heart
overall i’m really glad that my mom was able to go in my place and comfort my best friend and her family, but i wish i could’ve been there too. i feel like a shitty friend even though i know i might not be that but grgghhgg my mental health yknow .
this also for better or worse reminded me why i’m still going (my little brothers. nathan if you see this i love you)
sorry about this rant, just feel kind of crazy and didn’t want to burden any friends or family with it