It’s a struggle, this concept of happiness. maintaining the highs when you are at your lows it feels like a constant fight trying to smile with your eyes imagine, wading in a pool of unforgiving ember being pulled into a sinkhole gravity working against the mass of your body the force of it pulling, and pulling the power of a supermassive blackhole working against your being despite you trying despite you kicking but then, when you drown it goes quiet and there is a peace precious in its fragility you cup it in your hands and hold still so still because for the first time in days, in months you feel a modicum of joy like a flower slowly unfurling inside your heart you take a breath of fresh air because now it’s allowed after being consumed in a cloud of smog you can finally breathe. you gasp! and voila, there is clarity. in the quiet of this shadowed dark because in that moment your sadness is put on hold you can stop piling black thoughts upon black you're distracted imagine! a sense of permanence quietly lingering in a forever silence until, you are pushed out against your will and the chug of life begins anew the descent into the blue starts once more and you keep wishing for yellow but the blues just turn to greens and you wish for shadowed corners to swallow you whole for the blinking lights to embrace you like the stars that have fallen before you to the quiet of this shadowed dark. in time you will tell them don’t miss me too much when I am gone.
‘in the quiet of this shadowed dark’ by Sofi Saeed