9 (first kisses) for evermarch pleaseee
Lord, forgive me. I girl bossed a bit too hard and wrote a full one-shot. This is a follow on from icebox!
Thanks for the prompt @dandelionsunset1210 💛
I walk with purpose through the winding streets of the Seam. No one really bats an eye if they see me round here anymore, they all just assume that I’m going to help a poor soul who can’t afford the apothecary’s usual prices. That’s not where I’m headed right now though. Thankfully, this afternoon’s storm has blown over. The path is dam, the coal dust almost formed into a paste and a pallid sunset peaks through the still dark clouds that are parting ways now, though still hung low in the sky.
I reach the gate of Burdock’s house and pause, a finger lighting on the latch. I’ve not been to his house before, not really. I only stopped briefly in the living room once, when Burdock decided he needed to change a shirt. No one was in then. Who knows which of his family are here now? The weight of the day and the weather has kept people indoors this evening. Two children being reaped is bad enough, but four is almost unthinkable. Especially when they’re your friends. I know Haymitch was close with the Everdeen’s, Burdock told me as much. Now he’s on his way to the Capitol with Maysilee of all people. A shudder and tears threaten to overtake me, so in one swift motion I unlatch the gate.
His mother, a pretty but worn woman, opens the door. Her eyes are rimmed red, but she otherwise seems composed. “I think you’ve got the wrong house,” she says kindly when she sees me, “no one in here that needs healing.”
“Is Burdock here?” I jump in before she can close the door.
“No,” his mother replies, looking me up and down. Appearing in the Seam to help the sick and wounded is one thing, but I realised how out of place I must look on her doorstep asking to speak to her son. I wonder, does she know that we’re friends?
“Is there anything I can help you with?” she asks.
“Oh, no. It’s okay. I just needed to talk to him-“ I shuffle my feet awkwardly, “-about some plants” I finish lamely.
“I see,” Mrs Everdeen says with a knowing smile, “I’ll let him know you stopped by.”
Then, as I turn to leave, Mrs Everdeen speaks again, “I’m sorry about your friend.”
“The Donner girl. She was your friend, wasn’t she?”
Mrs Everdeen offers me a heartfelt look of sympathy, not willing to give me false reassurance that my friend might return. We don’t do that here in District 12. She bids me goodnight and closes the door.
Burdock must have gone to the woods. That’s where he usually goes when he needs some space to think. He told me it’s the only place his head feels clear. Still, it’s risky going in on a day like today. I walk towards the meadow, where I know Burdock likely entered, but I don’t need to travel far as I run into him walking down the twilight road. Burdock comes to a slow halt when he sees me. He’s braver than I am. He’s not even bothering to hide the tears the cling to his eyelashes and streak down his cheeks. My parents always said that sort of thing was better kept behind closed doors.
We don’t say anything to each other, we just fall into each other’s embrace. His arms encircle me, warm and strong. His face is buried in my hair and I can feel his body shake while hot tears drip on to my shoulder. I cling to him tighter, if that’s possible, and allow my tears to fall too. It’s the first time I’ve cried today. I haven’t be able to, not when I had to be there for Merilee. Then when I got home, I felt like I hadn’t seen my bedroom in years and suddenly my bedroom walls didn’t feel like a place to cry in.
Eventually we pull apart and Burdock brings his arm round my shoulders and leads me towards the meadow.
“Here,” he says, taking off is leather jacket and placing it on the ground so that we don’t have to sit on the wet grass. We sit quietly for a moment
“How are you doing?” Burdock asks, breaking the silence.
I shrug and glide my hand over the top of the rain dropped grass, “I just can’t believe it.”
“Me either,” he shakes his head, “I mean, Haymitch didn’t even technically get reaped. He shouldn’t be there!”
“None of them should,” I say darkly.
“No. You’re right,” Burdock agrees.
“That’s what Maysilee says every year,” I tell Burdock, drawing my knees to my chest. He places a hand between my shoulder blades and gives me a small rub. However, his soothing hand doesn’t stop him laughing slightly and saying, “now that…that surprises me, actually.”
“Maysilee isn’t as bad as you think, you know.”
“You just have to look beneath the surface with her,” I defend.
“Well, she certainly knows who the enemy is.”
We fall into silence again, the darkness drawing in.
“Hey, Asterid? Can I ask you something?”
I give a small hum as an answer.
“You didn’t come and find me today just because our friends were reaped, did you?”
“No of course not!” Well, I suppose in a way, yes, I did, but I would have wanted to see Burdock anyway. My head is screaming at me to pull away, that’s the smart thing to do here. It will only lead to trouble, I remind myself. But his hand on my back and his grey eyes looking down at me so tenderly are so comforting, that I can almost believe I’ll be alright if Maysilee doesn’t come back.
“You haven’t really spoken to me all week, that’s all,” Burdock pulls me to his side, “it was your Pa, wasn’t it?” he says softly. He doesn’t sound angry, or at all bitter. It’s just a fact. He’s smart and he’s perceptive. He read the room well enough when he stayed for lunch last week.
“It was,” I sigh regretfully. Burdock frowns and bites his cheek but doesn’t release me from his side. I reach a hand up to his cheek and gently turn his head to face me. “But do you know what, Burdie?” His lips quirk up at the sound of his nickname, “it’s so clear to me now how wrong he is.”
Burdock’s eyes shine and his grin widens, revealing that adorable tooth of his. He draws his hand down to lace with my own, looking up at the sky he says, “I think we should get you home. It’s almost night and I don’t want to give your pa more cause to hate me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” I whisper as we start to walk.
“He’d just rather I didn’t have lunch with his daughter?”
“I don’t care. I’ll have lunch with who I like,” I smile at him defiantly, “and I’ll tell Maysilee too, ‘cause I know she’ll have things to say about- oh.” My lip wobbles and tears begin to fall again, this time it feels like they’ll never stop. “Oh, Burdock. Do- do you think-“
“Don’t.” He pulls me into his chest, “don’t, because at the end of the day only one person comes out alive.”
He’s right. I don’t tell him that I hope it’s Maysilee who comes home. It feels selfish to say, even though I know that he’s hoping for Haymitch’s safe return. I only continue to cry harder when I think about how unfair it is. How unfair that our friends are being ripped away from us.
The tears continue and Burdock strokes my hair, he even places a soft kiss on top of my head. Then, he’s lifting my chin and wiping away the tears from my cheek with his thumb. I realise I’ve never hugged Burdock until today and now here we are, stood so intimately, a warm currant spreads through me. How can something that’s never happened before feel so familiar? Burdock kisses away the final tears from my cheek, trailing downwards. His lips linger at the corner of my mouth before pressing tenderly against my own lips.
It feels just as soon as they’ve touched, he pulls away apologising.
“Don’t be sorry,” I close the gap between us, “I guess we never know what tomorrow brings.”
I reach up on my tiptoes and in perfect syncronation, burdock winds his hands round my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck, his lips are so sweet against my own that I sigh into his mouth. When we pull away, I can feel how flushed my cheeks are.
Burdock leans his forehead down to meet my own, “I wanted to do things properly,” he laments.
“It’s not been a proper kind of day,” I comfort him, “and maybe we’re just not proper kind of people.” There’ll definitely be talk when people see us together now.
“Here’s to never being proper then,” Burdock grins, pulling me in for one more kiss.
