#excedrinpm

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hello!!!! Meow meow meow meow

Hiiii!!!!

Meow meow meow

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Okay: actual TADC spoilers. (Talking abt my thoughts on the movie & the fandom’s reaction)

I did not like the ending, but I did not like the ending for very different reasons than a lot of people I’ve seen complaining about it.

First thing is first: they were never going to make it out of the circus because making it out of the circus was not the point. Being forced to adapt to a new environment and accept how things are is difficult. That’s why they spent 9 entire episodes doing that.

The fact that they are brain scans is completely fine. I really truly don’t understand the hate for it. They still have all of their human memories, emotions, & thoughts, I don’t understand why them being scans makes it boring or less compelling for people. Even if they’re not like sci-fi hooked up to a machine they’re still people? Also the idea of being a copy of your real self who is still out in real life is horrifying. “But it’s sooo obvious” I mean… yeah? I don’t really see why that’s a bad thing? They’re been alluding to it since the beginning and 9 20 minute episodes is not enough time to build a giant lore-filled series.

Which brings me to another thing: this was not a show that was worth time spent theorizing about. It was pretty straightforward the entire time. I think that people got caught up in theorizing and it ruined the experience for them because they cooked up a bunch of crack theories that didn’t actually fit with the length or content of the show and then got mad that those theories didn’t happen. But overall it’s been pretty straightforward the whole time.

Of course Jax abstracts. He was always going to: the ENTIRE SHOW was building up to him abstracting. I understand feeling bad that a character you like abstracting, but it doesn’t mean it’s a bad move or a bad show. Also the complaint that it’s the “Jax and Pomni show” I mean… yeah? They only have 9 episodes to work with they do NOT have time to flesh out an entire ensemble cast. Obviously they’re gunna have to pick one or two characters and lean into them if they want to have anything happen in the show. Having him abstract off screen was annoying as fuck like this is THE THING that you’ve been building to the entire time and then you just don’t show it at all? Okay. Thanks I guess.

And then Caine immediately apologizes and changes so there is no actual conflict in the ending. It’s boring. It’s so boring. It’s so boring. They just fixed everything immediately. And it feels like they cut those two things super short in order to make time for the HUGE UNNECESSARY LORE DUMPS. Oh my GOD we did not need the lore dumping. I do not need Jax’s entire backstory to find him compelling at a character. I do not need to know who and what the characters are doing in the real world to find them compelling. And to be honest it’s irrelevant to the story! Like Pomni says “here I’m just Pomni” like… yeah! We didn’t need to waste time on that! It felt like it was pandering to an audience that wanted more info and more theories so they cut things that would actually have given the ending conflict and a climax to lore dumping about shit that genuinely does not matter. It’s okay to not get all the answers! “We didn’t get enough answers!” WHAT other answers could you possibly want when the entire ending was lore dumping T-T

The one thing I will give you guys is there was a lot of dumb shit that did not need to be included since there was no time to flesh it out AT ALL

Why did we even bring up the blue AI? There was not time for that to build or go anywhere so just leave it out. It was pointless and went nowhere.

Why did we bother deleting Caine if he isn’t actually deleted? Especially considering he freaks out for like 15 minutes then gets deleted and then comes back and immediately apologises. Why didn’t we have a better arc planned out for that? It felt like a waste of time since there were no actual stakes and it was immediately resolved.

Why did we bother with the flashing photos of the real world? Putting random shit in for people to theorize about in the second to last episode when you have no time to expand on those things is pointless.

Those aren’t things that I think really needed to be explained as much as they didn’t need to be in the show. You should be starting to wrap it up at that point, not adding more shit that you’re going to either have to drop or waste time explaining to the audience like they’re dumb in the literal last episode.

Overall the ending was just… boring. Not because they are brain scans, not because Jax abstracts, but because the screen time was taken up by showing the characters crying for the first half, lore dumping for the second half, and then fixing everything with no friction at the end. There was no climax - there wasn’t really anything compelling in the ending. They just sat us down and said “here’s all the stuff you wanted to know and everyone is happy now okay bye”.

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College women being like “my professors hate me because I don’t agree with their feminist agenda” like motherfucker if it weren’t for the “feminist agenda” you wouldn’t be allowed to go to college. Show some respect goddamn.

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So I had to sit in for the conversation of my GM putting our assistant gm on a final.

TLDR the assistant GM immediately tried to throw me under the bus & I had a panic attack

For reference he does not do his job, will leave the store as the only LOD regularly, is on his phone on the sales floor for legitimately 10 minutes at a time, does not to animal care properly, overall just does not do his job. I’m not even nitpicking bc I’m generally okay with people doing whatever they want like I listen to podcasts my whole shift - as long as what needs to get done gets done or as long as you’re trying to the best of your abilities I don’t really care.

Anyway. As soon as she told him that he’s on a final (he did not make sure the mice had food at night and they ate 2 of the other mice because they had no food) he started immediately coming at me and trying to throw me under the bus, saying that I don’t wear my name tag (true, I hate it when people say my name if I don’t know them) and that I missed one of the animal walks last week (also true but he misses them frequently or will sign off on them without doing them) and that if he’s being written up then I needed to be written up too (mind you, my last boss put me on a final for insubordination for complete bullshit reasons) Then he started talking to me and saying “haven’t I been improving? I’ve been helping you SO MUCH tell her how much I’ve been helping you out”

/: I’m not the one who reported the incident with the mice, saw the incident, or anything. I was off that day. I didn’t push for him to get written up or anything and I told him that. Also I’ve had one on one conversations with him before to keep him in line and those just stay between me & him, I usually shoot my gm a text just to keep her updated but it’s just like “hey I talked to him about this, issue was resolved” just so she knows what’s going on, I do that with every serious store related conversation I have with people to cover my own ass.

He then accused me of sneaking around behind him and trying to find something to get him written up for, and I told him that I’m always in the animal department because I’m the manager of that department, I go behind people just to double check that things were actually done and the animals are good, it’s not just a him thing it’s about making sure my department is doing well.

And then he said that he felt like this is a hostile work environment and he is being targeted because he is gay (which is kind of funny bc only 2/10 of our store side employees aren’t part of the LGBTQ+ community) and our GM said “you only say that when you are being reprimanded and you say it every time you are reprimanded, if you truly feel that way please contact HR or come to me as these things happen” She was really aggressive with him lowkey but I think it’s because he was fucking attacking me.

Anyway it was a whole clusterfuck and I ended up having a panic attack because of the way he immediately jumped to throw me under the bus and simultaneously demand that I sing his praises. And after the whole thing he came to me while I was in the wellness room to try and get ME to comfort HIM about it. Which I did but like honestly I should have told him no, your first instinct was to start attacking me and that was really inappropriate and stressful.

😪 anyway since he got written up for something relating to the animals (she talked with him about it a few days ago and then the conversation was saying hey HR decided that last wrote up should be a final) he’s been stalking the animal department and making huge fusses when animals are low on food, he also made a big stink yesterday about the reptiles not having mealworms but according to the policy we take the mealworms bowls out of the habitats around noon and give them crickets until the next morning when they get mealworms again.

I’m not so mad that he’s stressing ME out (I mean I am but like I run a tight shift and he hasn’t gotten anything on me yet, but also I’m ALSO on a final so if he gets me on anything that’s my job, but also I know my GM wouldn’t write me up for something unless it was MAJOR or if HR forced her to bc she knows the situation about the final I’m on and is aware that my last GM was insane), but he’s doing it to the two people that work under me and they do not get paid to be bullied by the assistant GM, plus one of them has only worked here for 2 weeks and is only 20 like they’re still a baby. I keep telling them to just do their best and not to worry because it will blow over soon.

Hate to be this way because like I know the man has bills to pay but I also know he’s a personal trainer on the side so I know he will at least have some income but like, I need this man out of the store. He is stressing me out so bad. When I came to this store from the last one I worked at I was so happy that I wasn’t going to be stressed like I used to be. I was (not confirmed but suspected by my doctors according to the symptoms I was telling them) having minor stress-induced seizures when I worked for my last boss. I was so bad I started crying when I first had to ask my new boss for a day off and she was like “oh my god yeah it’s no problem why are you crying this is not an issue” T-T we literally have a running joke at the store that I’m lowkey the traumatized dog of the team 💀 so like I am really disappointed by all of this to be honest.

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also while I'm talking about the way people interpret ps2 horror games: Daniella from Haunting Ground is a fascinating character and so many people have so many different theories about her.

for context (also hi this post is going to have very light spoilers for haunting ground... if you care): Daniella is the maid in the castle, and she wants to kill Fiona the protagonist, presumably for her Azoth which is like... the alchemical ingredient which is derived from mercury which is said to be the life force. It's never explicitly explained but Lorenzo and Ricardo seem to be using the azoth to stay young and live longer (and forever ???? maybe) the whole thing is a bit wishy-washy. Anyway, the Daniella theories are super cool, and a brief recap of some of the one's that I've seen:

Daniella is a homonculus that does not possess any feelings because she is not a real human and wants to kill Fiona for her azoth so that she can be a "real" lifeform and experience life fully.

Daniella is a homunculus that does not possess a uterus and wants to kill Fiona and take her uterus so that she can be a "real woman".

Daniella is a human girl who was kidnapped by Lorenzo or Ricardo to work as a maid in the castle, and has no real feelings because of the trauma of growing up being forced to be a maid in an empty castle with crazy people. She wants to kill Fiona out of jealousy.

Daniella is (it doesn't really matter, human girl or homunculus) that wants to kill Fiona for her azoth, not for her own personal gain, but so she can be useful to Ricardo or Lorenzo to receive better treatment + adoration from them.

It seems most likely in the game that she is a homunculus, considering how many of those we see, but if that were the case, she would be the most successful one because we see loads of failed ones and Debilitas is.... well. We love hi,m but he's not really a smashing success. Ricardo is another successful one, but he ages rapidly, and he's a bit different because he's a clone, so it's debatable whether he's a full (true) homunculus or not. This would also explain part of why Ricardo treats her with so much disdain, because she doesn't seem to have the rapid ageing issue that he does. Although it is unclear if Ricardo or Lorenzo created her in this case. Ricardo made Debilitas, and Lorenzo made Ricardo. In terms of the timeline, it would make the most sense that Ricardo made Daniella, but in terms of how Ricardo treats her and how successfully she was created, it makes more sense that Lorenzo made her. But I guess all of that is besides the point. The idea that she's not a real human and wants to kill Fiona for her Azoth, or uterus is pretty solid.

But my FAVOURITE fan theory I actually heard this first from Ecdysis (he speed-runs haunting ground), is that she was kidnapped to be a maid and has lost her mind and wants to kill Fiona out of jealousy and to get the special treatment Fiona gets. I never considered it because when everyone else in the castle is a homunculus of sorts it just makes sense that she would be one too, but he brings up the point that in the bad ending of the game where Fiona is kidnapped and used for her azoth she acts very similarly to Daniella when Daniella loses her mind. I think growing up in a castle and being forced to be a maid in a big empty castle with crazy alchemists very well could make her push down her emotions to become the perfect stoic maid as a coping mechanism (and also to survive), then when Fiona shows up her jealousy is so intense that it breaks all of that and she can't control herself.

I think all of the theories are very cool and all have great motivations for her character. I also think that it's really cool how a lot of trans gamers feel a sort of connection with Daniella and her losing her mind over not being a "real woman", hating her reflection, being jealous over Fiona for being a "real woman". Now, she's not a trans icon by any means, she is a bad guy, and I kind of hate to be like "this bad guy in video game is trans representation" because like... that's not how representation works, but I do think it's cool how that wasn't intended by the developers but it's something that people can relate to in that way. She's accidentally an embodiment of some of the more negative feelings that can come with being a trans woman (and also like... just a woman in general) like jealousy, self hatred, and feeling like she's not "really a woman". Which is cool. (I hope I worded that okay & you guys get what I'm saying here, also shoutout to my trans friends reading this I love you guys and you deserve to feel secure and safe and loved - also we desperately need better trans representation in video games I hate how most "trans representation" in video games comes down to "this person is a bad guy and the fact that they're trans is their motivation" or like super oversly sexualized trans people /: like come on do better)

Anyway. Haunting Ground is a cool game you should play it, Daniella is a cool character, fan theories are cool.

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Do you actually care about the problematic behaviors you are calling someone out for or do you just want an excuse to bully someone and feel superior? Or are you just trying to show others that you’re “one of the good ones”? Do you truly believe that a person who did something tasteless 6 years ago had not shown any growth or change, or do you just not like them and it’s the easiest thing you can use to justify harassing them?

Do you think you are doing the world a favour by calling them out repeatedly or are you trying to signal to others that you are morally superior to them?