#exceprt

[theoptia]

Ramón López Velarde, from Song of the Heart: Selected Poems; “Forbidden”

Text ID: Can you even imagine the bitterness / I feel at not sharing / every pristine moment of your life?

[memoirsofbilal]

“i spoke to you after a decade and it didn’t feel like closure, it felt like reopening a wound i had taught myself to live with. i have moved on—or at least life moved me forward, taught me how to breathe without you, how to build days that don’t begin with your memory—but some part of me clearly stayed behind. you were my first love, the kind that rewires your soul, the kind that teaches you how deeply a heart can hold someone and how violently it can break. we didn’t talk about what happened, maybe because some endings are too heavy to carry back into words, but i could feel everything we never said sitting quietly between us. you sounded familiar, like home i am no longer allowed to return to, and i realised i don’t know what meeting you again would do to me—whether i would finally let go or lose myself all over again. all i know is that even after moving on, a part of me is still standing exactly where you left me, pretending it has learned how to leave too.” — memoirsofbilal (via Instagram)

[mk-wizard]

Transformers Excerpts: "Raising" Mikaela

At Prowl's hideout (which has been outfitted to accommodate his KiSS Player Mikaela), he has her seated on a chair as he sits across from her looking stern...

Prowl: Let me get this straight. You trespassed on private property- Mikaela: We were just standing on the lawn in front of the building. Prowl:... You disturbed the peace by rioting- Mikaela: They wouldn't listen to us no matter how much we tried to talking to them face to face. Prowl:... You damaged the CEO of New Woman Cosmetics car- Mikaela: His driver was trying to run us over. Prowl:... And when he stepped out, you threw a dead frog in his face. Mikaela:............ Prowl: Please tell me that was NOT on purpose. Mikaela: Um.... Prowl: *rubs his temples* Mikaela Banes, I understand that you are trying to bring attention to how their factory is damaging the environment, specifically the local park, but resorting to being a thug is NOT an effective way to get your point across. Mikaela: Every time we tried to talk and do the things the reasonable way, they'd shoot us down, Prowl. Slipstream: Wait, did you really try everything? Mikaela: We tried phone calls, letters, petitions, emails and we even tried coming to the office in person to just talk. Prowl: Mikaela, that doesn't matter right now. Slipstream: Yes it does, Prowl. *turns back to her* So you did all that? Mikaela: We even had pictures and a power point ready, but they wouldn't listen. We only resorted to rioting outside with chants and signs because it really was our last resort. Slipstream: That's not right! Prowl: I agree. You should have come to me. Mikaela: I did that too and even YOU shot me down! Slipstream: What?! Prowl, is this true? Prowl: I did not shoot you down, Mikaela! You were catching me at bad times! Mikaela: Yeah, that seems to happen a lot with you. Prowl: Mikaela! Slipstream: Oh no, you don't! She has a point! You can't tell the girl that you're always here for her, but then say she was catching you at bad times! Either you're here for her or you're not! Prowl: Slipstream, I AM here for her and right now, I'm trying to discipline her! Slipstream: So you have time to discipline and punish, but not be there beforehand?! Prowl: I'm trying to put her on the right path! Slipstream: You need to GUIDE her and from what I am hearing, she was trying to be on it, but no one would listen including you, Prowl! You always talk and lecture, but you need to listen too! Prowl: I do listen when it's important! Slipstream: And Mikaela cause and concern for Witwicky isn't?! Prowl: I didn't say that! Slipstream: That's exactly what you are saying when you say you only listen to her when it's important! Prowl: Slipstream, will you stop making me into the bad guy here! Mikaela committed a crime! Slipstream: Only because the law and order as well as those who represent it failed her! Prowl: Are you actually enabling her behaviour?! Slipstream: No! I'm taking the time to understand it! Things are not black and white! Prowl: I never said they were! All I am saying is that wrong is wrong even when it's done with good intentions! She needs to learn that! Slipstream: It's not the only thing she needs! Prowl: I know that! I'm trying to do right by her! Slipstream: And I'm not?! Prowl: I didn't say- Mikaela: *gets up* SHUT UP!! I'm not worth fighting over like this! I'm not even your kid! You don't have to care about me! Stop going at each other's throats all the time! *she runs away in tears*

Later....

Prowl: *knocks on the door by tapping it with his finger* Mikaela? Mikaela: Leave me alone! Prowl:... Sigh, Mikaela, I'm sorry. We're both sorry. We're supposed to be the adults and we made fools of ourselves. You've been through enough and... you deserved better than to see us like that. You... You also deserved my attention when you needed it. Calling out New Woman for polluting the town is important to you and for good reason. Don't get me wrong. I still say you should not have resorted to breaking the law, but... I... I understand why you thought you had to. Mikaela:.... Slipstream: Mikaela, maybe we don't have to care about you, but we choose to just like you chose to care about the local wildlife. You're a brilliant young femme and you're a born fighter. A person like you deserves care and support, and you have ours. Always. For what it's worth, even though I'm not your mother, I often wish I was because... you're exactly what I always dreamed of in a daughter. Prowl:.... Slipstream... Mikaela: *she opens her door* Is that why between the both of you, you're ok with a lot of the things I do? Slipstream: I guess it is. Prowl:... And I guess I... I feel like I have to be your father figure because your actual one failed you and I don't want to fail you too. We're partners since you're my KiSS player, but you're also underage. You do need protecting and care, Mikaela. And it's ok to need those things especially at your age. Maybe I do take the protecting thing a bit too far, but... I know how much you've been hurt in the past. I don't want anything else to hurt you. And I'm sorry if... I began to hurt you. Mikaela:... I'm still grounded, aren't I? Prowl: Definitely, BUT... I would like to take a look at your power point and information. I've been hearing a lot of thinks I don't like about the New Woman and if they are indeed not following environment regulations, that's a serious crime and they should be held accountable as well as take responsibility for all the damages. Mikaela: I'll get you everything right now! Slipstream: Hee hee hee. Prowl: What? Slipstream: Nothing.

[theoffingmag]

...the docent is uncomfortable talking about your letters. She says you and old girl used to sleep in the same bed because it was cold outside, that many Victorian ladies would have done the same, that it was normal. At least we can agree on that part. She keeps bringing up the fact that you didn’t have kids like it’s confusing, as though there is something mysterious about wanting peace, quiet, and endless hours for poetry and repotting plants.

— Rita Mookerjee, "Voicemail for Emily Dickinson"

[frailwonderland]

🌹

hehhee okok uh , also from [EXODUS]

Even before the concept of wealth had been ruined before, before the glimmer of gold made you ill and the wearing of it was a reclamation, you watched the royalty with contempt. They never looked back at you, just another impoverished child in a crowd of so many. But Alsa loved luxury, was always trying to get scraps of what they left behind. Alsa loved to wear gold around her neck and on her arms and in her hair, even though it taught you to fight and defend before your time. Even when it was stolen from her and she cuddled up in your arms to cry. She should have seen it coming, but you couldn't blame her either. Everyone wanted a scrap of hope.

[polasworld]

[amaria-the-soup]

“I regret everything.” Legend groaned. Sky quickly returned as Time continued to mutter.

“Good, everyone’s back!” Sky cheered with a clap against Wild’s back scoldingly. “And some of us didn’t fall of the edge.”

———

Excerpt from my “sky finds out that Legend is his great x65 or something grandson” fic inspired by @snowylynxx’s amazing and beautiful art

[michaelarowrites]

Excerpt from Honor the Words

Akaryu Masaomi is drinking coffee when he feels the kick to his chest.

It knocks the wind out of him, causing him to drop his mug and instinctively crouch down, holding his abdomen as he tries to catch his breath.

“Akaryu-san?” says one very alarmed military analyst. Other onlookers have stopped what they’re doing in order to stare at him in concern, since by all accounts, he had collapsed for no reason. “Are you alright?”

“Fine,” Masaomi says, already straightening himself and forcing a smile. “I’m just fine. My apologies, I just got dizzy for a second.”

Damn it, Youji! he thinks as loudly as he can.

I’m sorry! comes a thought that isn’t his, loud and clear in his mind. I forgot!

It’s the fifth time this week!

Youji-san, I wish you would be more careful, says a new voice in his mind, familiar but still not his.

I’m sorry, Shi-chan.

Masaomi exits the military kitchen, moving towards the training yard where he knows he’ll find Yamazaki Youji.

Hey, you just left your coffee cup on the ground. A third voice appears in his mind. Go back and clean that up!

Make me, Masaomi fires back, abruptly slamming all thoughts down, doing his best to sever the unwanted connection he now shares with three other people.

The strange telepathic communication that sometimes shares thoughts and feelings between the four is especially frustrating because it’s not like the usual mind-reading Masaomi knows how to handle. From a very young age, he’s known how to compartmentalize his thoughts and keep them controlled, with mental shields and wards to prevent unwanted spies in his mind. Threats of mind-reading and mind-compulsions and otherwise dangerous psychic attacks were not that uncommon in his daily life of political intrigue in the Capital.

But this is different. It’s nothing like the magic he knew how to guard against, and it chafes against him like someone has put a collar around his neck.

That same bond pings again, and he looks to the left where the connection is coming from and sees Shiori sitting in the shade. This is enough to waylay his path, as he detours to talk to her. “Shiori, are you okay?”

“I am fine, Masaomi-san,” she says curtly. She stands up from her seat on the bench, and presses down the folds of her plain kimono. Shiori always did like to dress in traditional clothes, as was common in the Capital and in the main Estates, but once she wore silks and it pains him now to see her so low. She looks at him coolly, as if sensing his thoughts (which, all things considered, she might have) and then says, “You do not need to spare any thoughts toward my well-being.”

“Shiori,” Masaomi winces. “You can’t be like this forever.”

“Like what, Masaomi-san?”

“Mad at me. I’ve apologized, and you’re just being stubborn. I thought we were friends.”

“We were friends, Masaomi-san, and then left me to die,” Shiori says, smiling sweetly. “That sent a very clear message about the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I didn’t think they’d actually kill you,” Masaomi says, but he knows it sounds hollow. “At any rate, this absurd higher ground is ridiculous. You’d have done the same.”

And yet, strangely, I didn’t.

He hears her thought loud and clear, and she looks mortified once she realizes what she’s communicated. “Shiori,” he starts, his voice softer this time.

“Excuse me, Masaomi-san. I have business elsewhere.”

It’s a lie, and their new bond means he knows it’s a lie, but he doesn’t stop her as she walks away.

*

Masaomi finds Youji in the training yard, talking to the pretty gumiho woman he’s made friends with over the past couple of weeks.

“—stop dodging, how are we supposed to have a proper fake battle if you keep avoiding hits?”

“Sorry, Mi-chan, I guess I’m squeamish about being hit.”

“Uh huh. Oh look, your rich boyfriend is here.” Sakurano Michiru looks over at Masaomi and smiles. “Hello, rich boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Youji says.

“And I’m not that rich anymore, considering the other grand dragons froze my accounts,” Masaomi says.

“So you keep saying, but I’m not sure I believe you,” Michiru says, talking to Youji. “Although, you were making out with Corporal Toma last night. Get any?”

“He left early,” Youji says.

“He always does. I could’ve warned you. That man’s a tease.”

“I didn’t mind. It was an honor to be teased,” Youji says with a grin. Masaomi manages to hide his scowl but the irritation is probably communicated anyway.

Oh, so that’s where you were last night, Masaomi thinks, despite himself.

I was invited for drinks. You could’ve come along.

I wasn’t invited for drinks.

Out of the three of them—no, out of the four of them—Youji is the only one who is settling in nicely with the Magpies. Even Hinami seems irritated at how easily Youji is fitting in with the ranks. Just looking at the two of them, Youji would be the one people might think has been here for years, and Hinami the newcomer.

Then I’ll invite you next time, Youji thinks.

I don’t want to be invited, Masaomi snaps back, still irritated.

“See, and now you two are staring at each other intensely, which is a thing you two do a lot, and is certainly giving the impression to everyone on base that you guys are madly in love with each other,” Michiru says conversationally. Youji looks like he’s going to protest again, but Michiru just says, “I’m going to spare you the lie, which I’m sure will be very believable and convincing, because I have to go. I got a summons.” She waves her wrist, where the gold Cicada indicates a message received. “Be good, boys. Don’t do anything scandalous without me.”

“Lovely woman,” Masaomi says as she leaves, admiring the movement of her hips as she walks away.

“You’re staring.”

“That is the confident walk of a woman who clearly expected me to stare. It would have been impolite not to comply.”

“Uh huh. Well, behave. I like Mi-chan, and she would eat you alive. That was her kick earlier.”

Masaomi rubs his stomach, still convinced he can feel the dull ache. “Duly noted. You said you were going to be more careful in training sessions.”

“I got distracted, sorry,” Youji says. Hinami’s sparring sessions aren’t as intense, and she rarely gets injured. So far, it’s only Youji who keeps sending these inconvenient flares of pain through their unasked-for bond.

“Apologize to Shiori,” Masaomi says coldly. “She’s a court lady, and isn’t used to pain.”

“I did apologize to Shi-chan,” Youji says, his voice mild. “She’s very forgiving.”

Masaomi scowls, since there’s no way Youji doesn’t know what Masaomi and Shiori were talking about five minutes ago. “It’s all a front. Her grudges could freeze mountains.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. He likes harping at Youji, because Youji never seems to mind. But after his conversation with Shiori, he can’t help but be keenly aware that Youji is the only one on this base who doesn’t treat Masaomi like he’s an evil villain. Abruptly, he asks, “Why aren’t you mad at me?”

“For what?” Youji says, perplexed.

“For—you know. Leaving you to die, and what not.” Youji had already been shot by the humans. Masaomi left him thinking he was dead, or near-death.

“I had no expectations that you wouldn’t.”

“Ouch,” Masaomi says, surprised by the genuine hurt he feels at that statement. But then, he’d already betrayed Youji once before, so of course Youji would have expected that he’d do it again. It’s completely absurd that he feels hurt, when clearly Youji was right not to expect better of him.

“That’s not what I meant,” Youji says, frowning quizzically. His thick eyebrows move like silkworms on his face, and it actually makes him look charming.

“No?”

“I meant—I didn’t expect you to stick around. I didn’t expect anyone to stick around. Why would you have? We just met each other. You didn’t owe me anything.”

It’s everything Masaomi has been telling himself these past couple of weeks—I had every right to leave them! I owed them nothing!—but hearing Youji say it like that just sounds bare and false. “Well. It’s unlikely I’ll do it again.”

Masaomi hates how awkward that sounds. Youji just grins at him and says, “So were you worried when I didn’t come back to our room last night?”

“I wasn’t worried,” Masaomi says, bristling. “You’re my jailer, not my roommate.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

The fact that they’re sharing a military bunk is something that still chafes, because Masaomi has never shared living quarters with anyone. Much less a room that’s little better than a closet. But when they’d first arrived on base, Hinami had said, “I don’t trust you not to run away.”

“There’s nothing you could do to stop me,” Masaomi had said. But their bond was brand new at that point, and he didn’t know how to stop himself from automatically thinking, Youji would probably stop me from leaving. That thought had, quite embarrassingly, been transmitted to the other three. Youji had looked flattered, Shiori had looked coolly intrigued, and Hinami had said, “Good, then Yamazaki will room with you and stop you from leaving.”

The fact that Masaomi is sure that Youji could stop him from leaving—or at the very least, would be able to track him down and bring him back, if he did leave—upsets him more than the fact that he now has to share a room. Not that he plans on leaving, (he’s learned from that mistake), but he’d like the option.

“Maybe you wouldn’t want to leave so much if you made more friends,” Youji says helpfully.

“Stop that.”

“I can’t help it, you’re broadcasting your thoughts so loudly,” Youji says, his voice abashed.

“I am not. I have complete control over my thoughts. This is ridiculous. Call the divine Avatar and tell her to stop this stupid bond thing. I refuse to be a divine champion if I have to keep sharing my thoughts with the three of you.”

“I keep telling you, I don’t know how to summon her. She just shows up. I’m not sure why you keep thinking I have special access to Madhuri anyway.”

“Probably because you call her Madhuri like she’s a childhood friend and not a divine Avatar,” Masaomi says. He’s only known this man for three weeks, and he’s still not sure if Youji is purposefully evasive or if he’s genuinely bad at understanding subtext. Because it has certainly occurred to Masaomi (and Shiori, he’s sure) that Youji is the one whom Madhuri chose to rescue Masaomi from prison. Of the four of them, Youji is the only one Madhuri has talked to without the presence of the others. Masaomi doesn’t believe for a second that Youji is too dim to understand that makes him different from the rest of them.

“What else am I supposed to call her? She didn’t give a family name,” Youji says, sounding genuinely puzzled.

Masaomi gives up.

“If she shows up again, tell her to remove the bond,” Masaomi says, turning to leave. “Or I’m not helping anymore.”