Countries Whose Names Are Lies, Part 1
In rough order of current or most recently estimated population. Remember: all countries are lies.
INDIA: Lie. Does not control the Indus River, the basis for its name. The original India lies entirely in nearby Pakistan, whose name is not exactly a lie but is, for some reason, an acronym. Long story.
CHINA, People's Republic of: Lie. Though it is inhabited by many people, this big country is not composed of porcelain. Presumably this was some sort of poetic exaggeration to sell a cultural product.
AMERICA, United States of: Lie. This country has yet to unite the states of America (though, unfortunately, not for lack of trying). Apparently just having land stretching from the east coast to the west is enough? At that point, Nicaragua can claim the title.
INDONESIA: Lie. Composed of a great many islands, yes, but none of them are Indian. We've been over this already.
BRAZIL: Lie. Much like China, this country is not made of brazilwood. Come on, guys, we can't keep doing this.
RUSSIA: Lie. I mean, Russia? Like the Kievan Rus? That can't be right, Kyiv's the next country over.
JAPAN: Lie. This, Nihon, and Nippon all more or less translate to "origin of the sun", and Japan is on Earth. Learn astronomy, for crying out loud.
PHILIPPINES: Lie. These are named after Philip II, but that's absurd. None of the kings of Macedonia ever set foot there, they didn't even know it existed.
ETHIOPIA: Half-truth. Falls within the broader classical definition of "Ethiopia", i.e. any part of Africa south of Egypt, but the name was picked in the Middle Ages in an effort to identify themselves with the Ethiopians in the Bible, who based on context were clearly meant to be Kushites from Nubia, a region now largely part of...
SUDAN, Republic of the: Lie. Only covers a fairly small portion of the region known historically as the Sudan, most of which is outside the nation's borders.
KOREA, Republic of: Lie. Only half of Korea. The half with more people, sure, but come on. Everyone calls it South Korea already anyway.
GHANA: Lie. Located a few hundred miles away from the historical empire after which it is named, but it's a step up from "Gold Coast" I guess.
IVORY COAST: Lie. This is just getting ridiculous. No, the coast of the country is not made of the same stuff as elephant tusks, for crying out loud. How would that even work?
NIGER: Complicated. As shown on the above map, only a corner of its territory is crossed by the river of that name (at least Nigeria has the Delta!) but then again, it's also the most densely populated area where the capital is.
KOREA, Democratic People's Republic of: Lie, see South Korea. But also, democracy already means rule by the people, and that's not even mentioning the "public" part, so this one might win the prize for most redundant name ever.
CHINA, Republic of: Sigh. Don't even get me started.
