@exileruntm liked for a starter.
People used to say that almost dying changed your life. But they never mentioned the damage it did ... Billy’s life had changed, he was scarred, even more paranoid than before and his mood shifted even more dangerously. He could be minding his own business one moment, notice a look that seemed off and go into a full on rage.
Sure, he had always had issues, but there was a new side to him now. A side that he didn’t quite understand yet. One that came out unexpectedly and would disappear just as fast. His mind was a chaos, a chaos of feelings, memories, things he’d done, things he’d wanted to do. Violence ... He couldn’t keep it under control and nobody could ever possibly come to understand it.
He’d lost himself, ... the little bit of kindness that he’d cherished about himself even if he never showed it, it had been smothered by this constant state of being on edge. People had no idea just how messed up he was and quite frankly, he didn’t know either, some days just ...
Today was a day like that, a day where it would’ve been smart to avoid him. But people weren’t aware of that, they didn’t know that the Mind Flayer’s control had made him get to an even darker part of his mind. So, one moment, there he was ... smoking a cigarette while leaning against a wall. And the next, almost as if he had lost the seconds in between, the cigarette lay discarded on the ground. And he found himself having shoved someone against a wall, his hand around their neck as rage washed over him.
It wasn’t until he felt the way their pulse beat against his hand, that he was drawn back to reality and stepped back, his hand still outstretched as he processed what he’d just done.”Stop looking at me like that!” His voice almost a growl as he had turned away with clenched fists and closed eyes. It’s not here. It’s over. A mantra he’d been using for moments were his mind seemed to go blank, trying to bring himself back to reality. ”I don’t need your pity!”