#existcollective

[choijis-blog]

08. WHAT DID YOU DO?

  ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅɪᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ?

                                 Eᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ 9:00 ᴀ.ᴍ. sʜᴀʀᴘ                                 ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴇʟʟ ᴘʜᴏɴᴇ.                                               Tʜᴇ sᴘᴇᴀᴋᴇʀ sᴀʏs                                          “I ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅɪᴅ.”                                              ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇɴ ʜᴀɴɢs ᴜᴘ.

                       Tʜɪs ʜᴀs ʙᴇᴇɴ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ғᴏʀ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴡᴇᴇᴋs sᴛʀᴀɪɢʜᴛ.                                Cᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ ʙᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴀ ᴊ ᴏ ᴋ ᴇ?

                              Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀ sᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ sᴇɴsᴇ ᴏғ ʜᴜᴍᴏʀ, ʜᴜʜ?

     ( existcollective — word count: 736 )

     Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

     Such a monotonous necessity, yet she needed to remind herself to take a breath lest she fall into darkness. She peers outside to view the waning moon be swallowed by the yellowy hues of the approaching dawn. A sigh breaks past her lips, thin body rising out of bed though she’s giving up much needed sleep, desperate to escape the nightmares that had been attacking her mind throughout the night.

     She rakes a hand through her hair, too tired to be bothered to go retrieve a brush and actually manage the chaos atop her head. Her legs slowly carry her from her room, only barely catching her reflection in the bathroom as she exits; the purple bags under her eyes glaring at her from afar. Jihyo pays no attention to them, having grown used to the discolored skin when the phone calls had begun, the shrill tone a bitter reminder of her past. 

     Refusal of a God she had once praised had led to madness, the cross that had once rested between her collarbones now lying forgotten on her dresser. No heaven would accept her, nor were they offering her any protection from the evils that roamed the earth.

     She makes coffee, eats breakfast, and then she crawls back into bed. Hours pass, each one spent curled up in a ball with the sheets pulled over her head. There’s a weak sense of security beneath the white fabric, and she clings to it as she waits for the red numbers on the clock to hit nine. 

     Her mind drifts to two years prior, back when she had let her long hair fall freely and her face had been always graced with a simple smile. Things changed quickly. The fleeting amount of joy she managed to find never lasted, causing her to only be able to see grey. Old friends merely became shadows as she closed in on herself, memories of the past crushing her like furious waves.

     She had snapped, one drink too many and she broke. Shrouded in mist she stayed silent, the moment over before she realized what she had done. Before her lay a body, someone she had once held dear, and in her hand a knife painted red.

     The phone rings and she pales, her thoughts rushing away like a distant dream. Her eyes flicker to her clock. Nine o’clock, the call was on time. She hesitates for a moment, praying to a God she no longer believed in against conscious thought before trembling fingers pick up the phone. 

     She stays silent, the voice relaying its same line for the fifteenth day in a row.

     “I know what you did.”

     Jihyo opens her mouth to answer, but the end tone cuts her off before she even has the chance to take a breath. She sits there, phone still against her ear before she breaks down and sobs. Tears roll down her cheeks and the phone slips from her grasp, bouncing on the mattress beside her.

     Without the calls to remind her, she may have been able to continue locking the visual of her lost love bloodied and cold on the ground; the five simple words tearing the curtain away from her eyes to see once again. The tears keep flowing, the female gasping for air as her hands tug at her hair. She wants to scream, but emits no sound when she opens her mouth. 

     She falls to the bed helpless and in pain, panic wracking her body. If someone knew what she had done, surely she would be caught and locked away behind cold, unforgiving bars. Fear devours her, and she curls in on herself once again, this time her body violently rocking with each sob. The affliction was well deserved, her eyes red when she pulls herself out of the fetal position and rises from her bed.

     There’s only one choice for her now, and with a shaky breath she pulls open the drawer of her dresser and retrieves the one item that can free her from her misery. 

     A quivering finger settles on the trigger, a pitiful sound escaping the female as she positions the metal object. 

     “God, please forgive me.”

     Her voice is weak, once again pleading to an entity she had sworn to forget. She stands for a minute more, body quivering in fear. 

     With one last wish for forgiveness she pulls the trigger.

[gxnderless-blog]

{#06} Delivery;

   ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴘʀᴏᴍᴘᴛ #6

                                                 ᴅ ᴇ ʟ ɪ ᴠ ᴇ ʀ ʏ !

                                Bᴜᴛ.. ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ                                  Wʜᴀᴛ ɪs ɪᴛ?  Wʜᴏ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪᴛ ʙᴇ ғʀᴏᴍ?  

                                                         Oʜ.

                           Tʜɪs ɪs ᴜɴᴇxᴘᴇᴄᴛᴇᴅ.                                    “Ah, sir.. I.. can’t, this can’t be for me.”                                                            “It’s your name on the label.  Have fun!”

                          Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴏᴡɴ                                       ＨＵＭＡＮＯＩＤ ＰＥＲＳＯＣＯＭ.

                     Is ɪᴛ ᴀ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴɪᴏɴ?  A ᴛᴏʏ?                             Wɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛ ɪᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ, ᴏʀ ᴀ ᴛʜɪɴɢ?                                                 Wʜᴀᴛ ɪғ… sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴs?

existcollective | word count ; 829

“Ai!” The voice of their landlord sounded through the main hall of the apartment building as Ai entered. They turned up the volume of their phone, not wanting to talk to him. They’d never liked him and they would try to avoid him at all cost, but today seemed one of those days they couldn’t avoid him.

“Ai!” he exclaimed again.  But to seemingly no avail.

They were busy, busy figuring out the easiest way to shoot up the stairway towards their apartment without actually having to face the man. They were in no mood to talk to him, they were tired, and all they wanted to do was sleep for a bit.

Or at least that was their plan. A meaty hand grabbed onto their shoulder, pulling them back just as they wanted to rush up.

“There’s a delivery for you, Miss Ai.”

Their eyes shot up as the feminine way of addressing was used before their name and they jerked their arm free. “Have it returned to the post office. I haven’t ordered anything, I don’t get gifts sent here. So it’s probably a wrong delivery.” They spoke in a calm voice, trying to get their landlord to finally leave them alone.

But he’d already left.

Ai sighed to themselves as they made the way up a few flights of stairs, the door to their room basically being blocked by a – rather big – box. Curiosity peaked, but fear still overpowered. What if it was a mistake, what if it really was not for them? They inched closer, opening their door before pushing over the box and pulling it inside, being as careful as they could just in case they were going to have to send it back – the option which seemed most viable to them.

It didn’t take as long to get the box to their room, observing the box curiously. Humanoidpersocom? That didn’t really sound like something they’d look up, let alone buy, in the first place. But it was no lie: their name was on the box, their address was on the box. It was all nothing but incredibly confusing.

All that was left was for them to open it.

“What am I supposed to do with this?!” They exclaimed, to no one in particular after struggling to get the box open, staring at a blank face after finally managing to do so.

However, as they spoke the words, the – seemingly female human-like – creature in the box opened its eyes. Ai gasped, stopping their speech and trying their best to not freak out even further.

“I’m here to serve. You’re free to let me do whatever you need, I’m under your command.” The voice was not human. The voice was… indescribable. One would expect it to be robotic, but it wasn’t. It was something between human and robot, and it brought shivers to their spine.

Ai took a while to regain their composure, getting up themselves to sit down on the couch before telling the robot-person, or whatever it was, to come sit by them. Their voice was shaky as they spoke, but the robot, conveniently dubbed Sooyeon, the most common name they could come up with at that point, caught on to their nerves, seemingly instinctively wrapping its arms around them.

It didn’t feel like a robot. It felt comfortable, it felt warm, and just like that, Ai felt at ease. But they still had one important question.

“What brought you here?”

“I’m not sure, I was told about you, about what you’re like, and what you need… but I don’t know who sent me here…. All I know is that it clearly was not you.” Sooyeon laughed ever so lightly, and the voice had changed. It was melodious and a lot more resembling of a voice belonging to a human female.

‘It’s okay, Ai, there’s nothing to be afraid of, it’s probably one of your friends who thought you needed someone to come home to, or something gross like that.’

They had to keep on reminding themselves of this as they leaned against the creature. But it felt nice, it felt right. “So you’re saying you’d do anything I ask of you..?” They rested their head on the robot’s shoulder, feeling themselves get more tired by the minute.

Sooyeon confirmed, and seemed to even be able to read Ai’s emotions and the room around them as it got up, carefully laying them down on the couch before rushing into their bedroom to grab a blanket. It then came back, draping the blanket over their body before sitting down, patting at its lap. “Go rest… you look like you need it, Ai-ssi.”

Ai quietly obliged, wondering how they robot knew where to go without even having been in their apartment for a solid two hours. They would have questioned it, if it weren’t for sleep quickly taking over. But they couldn’t help but wonder if this humanoidpersocom was more sinister than they’d originally thought.

[hotlvneblng-blog]

Welcome to Exist! There’s nothing we hope more than for you to have fun with us and get a good curve on your writing abilities. Never hesitate to ask us any confusion you may have, we’re all here for the same thing: writing, growing with our muse in the fullest extent possible. Don’t forget to link us on your blog, or use the icon (instructions for that are on the Protocol page). Enjoy yourself as much as you can, thank you for applying and taking the time to do so. Happy writing!

( Thank you very much! I’m looking forward to interacting with Exist members and I’m sure I will improve a lot now that I joined you. I’m really happy about this. I’ve just put your icon on my blog, by the way! Thanks again! )

[saintguts-archived-blog]

Welcome to Exist! There’s nothing we hope more than for you to have fun with us and get a good curve on your writing abilities. Never hesitate to ask us any confusion you may have, we’re all here for the same thing: writing, growing with our muse in the fullest extent possible. Don’t forget to link us on your blog, or use the icon (instructions for that are on the Protocol page). Enjoy yourself as much as you can, thank you for applying and taking the time to do so. Happy writing!

(( Thank you so much! I really like the whole idea of the collective so I’m pretty excited to have been accepted. Thank you again!

[eroticasehun-blog]

[04] Lucid

                                                    ʟ ᴜ ᴄ ɪ ᴅ ɪ ᴛ ʏ

                               One morning you wake to find yourself in a straight jacket,                                                     being taken off to an asylum.

                                                   How do you prove your sanity?                                       What do the guards and psychiatrists say you did?                             

                                            Are you pretending or are you just scared?

                                                      Maybe you are just a little insane after all.

This was it. He had finally snapped. He had done it. 

There was no protest on his lips as he was drug down the barren hallways, the puke green half wallpaper making him feel nauseous. Sehun had wanted to fight, had initially tried to and it had resulted in a rather nasty bump on his head and a fracture somewhere deep inside. A realization that maybe, just maybe he had finally came to the place he belonged. There was only so much trauma a man, no a boy, could take before it was lashed out onto the world around him. Maybe he should have taken that therapy. Maybe he should have talked about it. 

Maybe... 

Maybe... 

Maybe... 

The word became convoluted and twisted in his head, sounding strange and foreign as he continued to think back on the things that could have kept him from here. There were so many things he could have done differently. So many things that should not be. And yet they were, the tips of his toes dragging across the pristine tile as the orderlies took him to his room, hoisting him up by his arms. He was limp, barely clinging on to his thoughts.. or was he thinking clearly? It was hard to tell in the rambling madness that had become his skull. Dogs nipping at the white heels and skirts fluttering in whirling motions as he was tossed against a bed with hardly any cushion between his body and the springs. At least the jacket they shoved him in kept him from having to touch the woolly blanket, that was a heaven sent. Sehun just knew it would make him itch. 

But... how did he know that when he was only just brought here? How could he fathom such knowledge when today had been his first day... It made no sense. The snippets though, the flashes of memories (or were they dreams?) kept flitting through his mind as he felt himself clawing past a fog that he hadn't realized blanketed his mind. The one that placated him into place, probably a drug, who knew for sure... the sensation that left his skin tingling and his mind reeling, sending him back to day one. Back to when this all started, back to that feeling of utter helplessness as he sat on the bed in a doped stupor, staring at the wall with marked ticks. His ticks. His days. His time spent in that room, withering away. 

Or were they from some poor soul from before... 

Shit. There was no way to tell. He didn't know. He couldn't trust his own mind, not in here. Wasn't that why he was here? He had finally broken himself, somewhere deep in those twisting corridors he called his mind. It was all too dark, too messy, too distant. Nothing was at his fingertips, nothing he could grasp and understand. There was no sun, no sign of time in the small room. Sehun didn't know anything and he hated not knowing. How long did he lay there staring at the scratches in the wall? How long had he been here? How long did the pounding in his skull match the sluggish pulse of his heart? 

Rolling over, he stumbled up to his feet, his arms free. When had that jacket come off? When was he left alone here? Was here even real? Was he still laying on that bed instead of banging on the cold door? Was he even screaming to be let out or was he just trapped in his own mind? Was he going crazy or was he already there? 

Sehun supposed that if he screamed, begging to be let out, he would eventually gain attention from someone, anyone who could answer his questions. It felt like minutes or maybe hours, his throat was sore and the knuckles of his hands were an angry red from abuse. But the slot in the door had finally opened, a woman dressed right and proper peering back at him. At least it wasn't one of those hulking brutes. It was enough to relax him slightly as he stared at her, the words tumbling past his lips faster than he could think. 

"Why am I here? I don't belong here, I didn't do anything! I know I had my problems, but... I was okay, I would never go too far! I'm perfectly sane." 

_Are you really? _That little voice nagged at the back of his head. He knew what he looked like. Eyes bloodshot, rambling like a mad man desperate to escape a lynching. That look on the woman's face was unexpected. Exasperation, the final straw, like she had heard this one too many times before. Even doctors had their patience worn thin. Not like you'll remember it tomorrow anyway. 

"Mister Oh," her tone was stern, her gaze blazing and leveling as she stared at him, "for the last time, two months ago you were found wielding a blade, bleeding with your friend Kim Joonmyun butchered beside you. Once you can tell me why you might have done something to him, we will be able to get down to the bottom of this. But so far your wild accusations have done nothing but warranted medication to help with your delirium and hallucination. It's for your own good." 

The words were clipped, foreign, distant, unforgiving, and cruel. Joonmyun... his Joonmyun. The man that couldn't be killed. The one that healed without a second to spare. How could Sehun have killed him? Why would he have killed him? Joonmyun had been his last source of comfort. His little oasis in the black desert that had become his mind. He was a God, he could perform things that no human could. There was no way Sehun could kill him, a mere mortal... Even if he could, he wouldn't have wanted to. No amount of jealousy would have pushed him to this. 

The disbelief must have been evident on his face, the shock coupling. There was no way... in heaven or hell that Joonmyun was dead. The doctor gave him a soft sigh of resignation. Moving to close him back up in his room. "Wait! How could I-" He wasn't allowed to finish as she spoke up suddenly for him, "Kill a God? A being that is above our law of physics?" It was snapped. She looked to be on her last straw. Had he been that difficult of a patient... He couldn't have been. He fell silent immediately, retreating back slightly like a slap to the face. 

It sounded ridiculous to his own ears. Was he making it up? He clearly remember Joonmyun taking him to a bar where the drinks sparkled and the Faye were mischievous. But even that sounded fantastical even to his own ears. Maybe the truth was right before him and he refused to accept it. He had loved... still loved Joonmyun, couldn't handle the thought of sharing him, letting anyone else close, so he took matters into his own hands. He wouldn't be left alone again. It made sense in the black and white world, but not his mind. No. His mind didn't accept it. He wasn't crazy. Joonmyun had to be alive and he wasn't dead, it wouldn't be his fault. 

Sinking onto the bed, Sehun buried his fingers into his hair, pulling his knees up to his chest as he started to rock himself slowly. It was so easy to remember being held and comforted, to hear those silky words of beauty and promises of waiting. Then why was there this ache? Did he really kill him? Did he try to kill himself? Had he lost himself in fear of losing the last person he had? Was he crazy? Or was this all a mad dream...