#existence experience

[nonexistentartist]

Normal girls: use all-natural shampoo, then cruelty-free conditioner, then shave with eco-friendly razors Me: guzzles my 3-in-1 bodywash then rotates slowly as it bubbles and froths out of my mouth, cleansing my aching body with its dribbling suds. also I pee while rotating

[nonexistentartist]

if I had a nickel for every time I was helped with car troubles in a Walmart parking lot by a man who was blind in one eye, and who was not employed by the Walmart, I would have a dime

frankly, that worries me

[nonexistentartist]

just double mastered sandwichmacking

it turns out you can use toast for the bread parts, and no one can stop you. my dad tried but he wasn’t strong enough so it looks like i’m the sandwich dad of this household now

[nonexistentartist]

just mastered sandwichmaking

not sure why no one ever thought to put the bread on the outside, instead of between the ‘nut butter, but it’s a lot easier to eat this way. suckers