what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question

writer, artist, nonexistentity extraordinaire. twitter at @PurradoxCS

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

reblog to pet his bald head

[nonexistentartist]

if you went to a club and the bouncer was a mouseboy and someone started causing trouble he could roll up his sleeves and say "alright, no more mister mice guy"

[fairycosmos]

maybe later we could hang out and take turns bursting into tears

[nonexistentartist]

choose the best one.

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.

Sphinx of black quartz, judge my vow.

Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.

The five boxing wizards jump quickly.

Watch "Jeopardy!", Alex Trebek's fun TV quiz game.

The quick onyx goblin jumps over the lazy dwarf.

Voting ended onFeb 23, 2023

[hikari-ni-naritai]

[nonexistentartist]

well dont forget the companion post

[biggaybunny]

Stop telling people Italians can't be domesticated we can't let the truth get out or ill have a harder time weaseling my way into people's homes and hearts before takin em down to da pier wid a nice pair a conkrete shoos capische?

back! back! Shoo! Dammit, this one doesn't even have a collar.

[hikari-ni-naritai]

gahh! mama mia! get 'er ass, tony!

[nonexistentartist]

you got it boss

[supergameboytwo]

Reblog this post to be added to the pile

[nonexistentartist]

based on a true story

[nonexistentartist]

> ??? < Part 12 << Part 1

[nonexistentartist]

Hey, I apologize if I am bothering a dead tumblr. However, this is quite concerning for me. What happened to Daddyquest?

aw Beans I didn’t think anyone still remembered I made that. but you caught me, now I gotta fess up:

the short of it is when I took a break from it I never drew anything else or otherwise stopped taking that break. oops!

the slightly less short of it is since that break my life has gone in a series of directions that are very distracting, with such powerful thematic elements as death, urgent fiscal responsibility, and college (a rare and highly dangerous combination of the previous two)

I... will probably update it again one day?? maybe even finish it, universe permitting, but right now I’m trying to figure out how to turn time into books into money, and also how to do that without necessarily finishing or attending college. you know, like any respectable and level-headed writer who should be taken seriously and not relentlessly mocked or ignored.

so that’s the bad news, that daddyquest will probably sit unupdated for a while because it doesn’t have a lot of chance at making me financially stable. but! some good news: the first book I write will be at least as rife with Immodest Future Technology and Unorthodox Social Hierarchies -- and just might even be a better, more thought-out story too! (for context: i completely improvised all of daddyquest, and never once wrote down my thoughts on how the story should go. don’t ever let anyone fool you otherwise.)

sorry if that’s a bit long-winded, but I genuinely didn’t think anyone cared about that silly little story I wrote, so it was a pleasant surprise to suddenly see someone asking about it! hopefully this is a pleasant surprise in return, that even though daddyquest is still hibernating, it may one day rise once again, and perhaps be surrounded by new stories of a delightfully, Sinfully similar nature.closing note: if you need anything clarified, feel free to ask! I still check tumblr daily to see what my friend reblogs, even if I don’t post much anymore. ain’t quite dead yet, y’hear?

[phasmachine]

block anyone who is anti-metroid prime 2 echoes

[nonexistentartist]

good fucking post op

[nonexistentartist]

people be out here having eyed brows

[nonexistentartist]

Normal girls: use all-natural shampoo, then cruelty-free conditioner, then shave with eco-friendly razors Me: guzzles my 3-in-1 bodywash then rotates slowly as it bubbles and froths out of my mouth, cleansing my aching body with its dribbling suds. also I pee while rotating

[nonexistentartist]

neolithic hunter-gatherer: dude what are you doing? your meat’s burning

inattentive chef who’s about to invent well done steaks: oh you haven’t heard?

[nonexistentartist]

just woke up from my power nap to wake everyone else up with this helpful wokegraphic, color-coded for your wokevenience

[nonexistentartist]

due to a clerical error, the funnies section of the newspaper has been replaced with the furries section. please adjust your morning routine accordingly

[nonexistentartist]

if I had a nickel for every time I was helped with car troubles in a Walmart parking lot by a man who was blind in one eye, and who was not employed by the Walmart, I would have a dime

frankly, that worries me