I kind of understand it now. The magic of 23. Instead of cringe I feel empathy to a lot of my past. I appreciate there's no fixed state of being. Your forward is also sometimes what leads you to backward. Things you believed were purely in a stasis of fact and correctness, turn black and white, to purple, orange or green.
My morals are flexible but only in the ways of survival. And the realisation many many if not all of people are doing something similar.
Some actions cloud sincerity of previous promises. I think things can definetly be ruined, my perception of how has altered.
I aim to be gentle. To flow with what is happening and instead of a reaction letting it pass through me. Not around through. There's no malice no forcing when it cannot be forced. Simply accepting and loosely planning around what may come. The most powerful thing I've learnt is to control when to react. Because there'll always be a need for reactions but how they're formed and processed through me can change.
Rage can become stillness, and sometimes we regress still. Instead of punishing ourselves we must think carefully on mistakes made. We are human and the acceptance of this means having realistic and more deep and meaningful relationships.
Instead of viewing someone with our expectations of them, we must see them as they are and accept if the puzzle piece makes a better picture. We need each other but we don't need to love everyone. Finding the balance can be hard. I always look to someone's actions with friends and family outside of me that I'm told of. People that speak highly of those precious to them are the people we keep.
