#existing is so hard

[laststargrazer]

I am having thoughts about this particular social moment.

[skeletonmaster69]

ill grab a sandwich on my way to class and try to eat it before school thats what ill do

[spaghetti-steven93]

me when the brain fog makes it impossible to do anything all day and once again I am another day behind on all my assignements and I'm cryuing and obbning about it but then i just shrug and go. okay. whatver.

[becoming-with]

just got swallowed for 5 hours writing a song about my friend who i guess i just kind of friend broke up with

it was so weird living in London with all this trauma (""neurodivergence"") i went through a breakup that really shook my entire reality and broke me

L found me through instagram, i was going through this trying to understand if i was queer thing and really did go to the other corner of my identity for a while but it wasn't right? i'm still confused, still feel so alienated by the prison that traditional masculinity is but i also don't really want to change myself

L is definitely queer though, and is also very working class and mentally ill, we had a lot to talk about and connected. i went round to theirs, we went to these marshes at night and cuddled, i was so lost and very inhibited, i didn't know what to make of the whole situation but it was obviously incredibly nice and i felt a lot of safety there

now i know i'm not like queer i guess (? it's exhausting to even try to fix labels to it) what i do know is i don't and don't want to fit into any concept of normal in the insane repressed WASP world but yea because i don't fit into the other thing i'm just kind of completely lost now

remembering london and how terrifying and bizarre i found it existing there and how L was this anchor in shared experience it's just all so sad

anyway idrk what i'm talking about it's all very confusing still in lots of ways but i guess that's why you write songs about things. i suppose i want to be friends again but they're just not available to contact basically at all for probably a mix of reasons lots of which are fair but it still hurts a lot and i hope we can know each other again before western civilisation collapses

[xxgh0st0fy0uxx]

UGHHDHHhhhshdjshsnsjusahvajajagaahhahgffgghhhhdhdjjdjsjdjdhdhhhhhhhhhjj

[ominousmotion]

My brain is so numb running off 4hrs of sleep with classes and homework and I somehow managed to get my highest score ever on a philosophy quiz that I understood 0% of I’m also on objectively too many painkillers bc otherwise I’d be in the fetal position crying from cramps 👌🏻

[ominousmotion]

My brain is so numb running off 4hrs of sleep with classes and homework and I somehow managed to get my highest score ever on a philosophy quiz that I understood 0% of I’m also on objectively too many painkillers bc otherwise I’d be in the fetal position crying from cramps 👌🏻

[ominousmotion]

My brain is so numb running off 4hrs of sleep with classes and homework and I somehow managed to get my highest score ever on a philosophy quiz that I understood 0% of I’m also on objectively too many painkillers bc otherwise I’d be in the fetal position crying from cramps 👌🏻