#expat diary

[camp-witch]

Wise words from a wise man who made me feel excited about something that frightened me . RIP, we lost you way too soon.

[piavalesca]

that day we met two cool russian dads and their lovely kids at the playground. the kids shared their toys and we all baked sand cakes and played soccer. it's so heartwarming to see how kids need no words to communicate and they bring adults together, too. no need to speak the same language. everytime i'm afraid sending bebe to an english/chinese daycare will be hard on her cause of the language barrier i think of moments like these. kids don't need words to play together and show affection. and they're incredibly fast learners anyways. on our way back from shanghai we met a super nice afro-american guy from dallas who moved his family over to switzerland two years ago. he said we're doing the absolutely right thing sending her to an english-chinese daycare. his daughter was exactly in the same age when they moved to switzerland and now, after only 24 months in the new environment, she speaks english, german and french fluently. he said our daughter reminds him of his baby a lot, she´s just as curious and outgoing as her and surely will thrive in the new environment.

this pep talk was just what we needed! (he was a very cool dude anyways: playing peek-a-boo with bebe and making her laugh with funny faces etc.). these international encounters bring me so much joy!

[itsdneo]

My remaining granny is tired 😭😭

She been tired for years and God kept her for us, eternally grateful🙏🙏

It's becoming a daily cry now and her health deterioration is not helping☹☹

She says she's left alone, everyone is gone😭☹

She is suffering and that is not ok, she's going through a lot

As much as she "prepared" us, the thought of it makes me wanna crawl in a cave and cry, and scream and pray for more years because it's never enough right..We will never be ready

I love you koko, with all of me

[camp-witch]

friday the 13

Last Friday down here in Mexico.

It feels really weird and fast to say a half year has come and gone and its time to go. I know its sooner than we expected, and that we have been wanting this for a month or so, but its still hard to believe its less than a week away. I can hardly fathom a cross-country move one more time but here we go.

Today is Tom’s last day at work, and they haven’t really had much for him to do all week long so the time has been moving even slower. but we really hope we can get his coworkers to come over tonight for one last hurrah before the busyness of this weekend. The movers start on Monday. I’ve been focusing on my paintings this week, trying to finish and seal them and paint the edges and scan them to have them dry and ready for packing and storage for a month or so. i sent out my newsletter last night to share the work and only like 7 people opened it. It sucks sometimes to move far away, it feels like people forget about you or stop caring, and when you are making things and want to share them with other people and they don’t care, it kind of feels like a waste. The internet is so impersonal and the gallery world is so expensive. I know I don’t make art for other people, but what is art without a viewer?

I’m on the 2 out of 3 semesters of herb school (and I got there quickly too, partially because I had so much free time here, partly because I did know a lot more of the material than I expected). I’m feeling a little frustrated with it because it feels a little lazy in they are repeating a ton of material in the beginner’s unit, and I expected a lot more. But I may feel differently when I get back to the cabin, where I will have access to plants and herbs and jars and time to actually make things- which is very hard here in Mexico, the herbs are limited and there aren't places to order bulk herb from. I think perhaps this course is meant to be a review and hands-on- I’m really hoping I can finish it this August at the cabin and move onto the advanced course. And perhaps attend a conference this fall.

The new moon yesterday was emotional and I can feel my cycle coming on, so i guess I’ll just end here saying I am stressed and tired and ready to go, ready for a new adventure, I will miss Mexico but I look forward to being with our families again. 

[camp-witch]

After spending the majority of the year down here in Mexico, I feel like I have learned so much. Not just all of the schooling I have been through ( I am onto my 2/3 semesters already in herbal school, and halfway through my Spanish classes ) but there is something about living here in Mexico that has forced us to go deep, without distraction. We have had so much time to learn about ourselves, our limitations, our loves and hates. And, we have learned about accepting who we actually are, what our real strengths are. What I am getting at here, is that we are soon departing from Mexico- much sooner than we expected- and it isn't with sorrow that I say this, it is with excitement for the next adventure. You may have read in my husband’s blog at the beginning of this month that he has decided to leave his place of work and strike out on his own. I believe, wholeheartedly, that if we had decided to forgo this move to Mexico and the airport project, he probably would have never came to the conclusion that a smaller business was what he actually wanted. We had a very comfortable routine and life back in Chicago, and it was hard to not romanticize living abroad and working on something new. But living down here in Mexico, away from our friends/family/obligations, and immersed in a huge project and company that took up enormous amounts of time and brain space, he learned that (maybe) he is not the type of person who can expatriate for years, and jump headfirst into a 50 hour work week. I also learned that I desire a much simpler life. And so it is that we have decided to move back to the midwest at the end of July, and stay temporarily at our family’s cabin in the woods in Wisconsin and plot our next move- which will likely be a home in Milwaukee WI, and two small businesses. What I have been making The paintings I have been making down here are small vignettes of a culture I have grown to love and deeply respect. There is magic in and all around this city. A week ago I stood on the top of the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacan, and thanked whatever Great Mystery at work in our lives for the time I have had here. I circled the summit three times in gratitude and thanksgiving. I have seen people work harder than I ever thought possible. I have learned the true meaning of caring for your neighbor; I have experienced the kindness of strangers who don’t speak a word of my language. I have been invited around a table by people from all over the world who have become warm friends. I have met awesome makers, artists, mediums, healers, writers. I hope that in the work you can smell the copal and taste the mango. I hope in the work you can tell I’ve really loved this time, and these places. There is so much I won't look at the same way again.

See the full series (plus other updates I have made to my website) rmgonzalez.com

[camp-witch]

I had the extreme pleasure of being able to meet some Instagram friends in Mexico City this last week. We had never met in person and I had only known them online for a very short time. But we had an amazing connection, I think, there must be something special about friendships forged while abroad. We’re all on our separate journeys as women healers and spirit workers, and bam! Our roads crossed and we met one another over tequila and quesadillas. And even a seat at the table of a Tia’s house can feel like the greatest place on earth for a few hours when you’ve spent so much time alone in recent months. I know that we have had our ups and downs , and I know now that I may not be a person suited for the expat life, but it’s so much easier when you have companions for a little while. I wish my husband could meet a couple people too for a little while.

[camp-witch]

Mexico things.