#explaining death

[thecreativeshrink]

Article: Explaining Death to Children

Article: Explaining Death to Children

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[sidebysideinsilence]

I don't know how to explain the death of a person

My father died 14 years ago. My older son is 4 and a half. My brother is visiting for a few days. He has a different father.

My son was cuddling with me and talking about my brother. I could see the wheels turning as he was asking questions and I knew where he would get before he got there.

"Uncle Alex has a daddy."  "Yes he does."

"Who is his mama?" "Well, nanas is his mama."

"But nanas is your mama." "Yes she is. Just like you have a brother, Uncle Alex is my little brother."

"And I am your son, and he is nanas' son." "Yep."

"Who is your daddy?"

And though I saw it coming, I still immediately started crying. I've told him little bits about my dad, and we have pictures up, but he never really seemed to put things together. Until last night. So I told him my dad's name, and showed him the picture on the wall.

"Where is your daddy?" " Very far."

"But where?"

It wasn't going to be possible to avoid the truth.

"Well, I can't see him anymore. He got very, very sick and he died."

At this he actually started crying.

"You don't get to see your daddy anymore?"  "No, I don't."

Then I didn't know where to go from there. He asked again where he went, and how far it was. We aren't really religious so we haven't ever taught him about Heaven or God or things like that. I didn't know what else to say and didn't want to scare him.

I feel prepared for lots of upcoming events as a parent, but this is not one I was ready for or know how to handle. I think he should learn about death and not be shielded from it, but I am struggling with teaching him. He expects me to have all the answers, and this time the words just get caught in my throat.