#explanaction

[seethepoet]

Self-Love

You will NOT achieve “Love” until you achieve SELF-LOVE. You will NOT achieve “Real Love” until you achieve SELF-LOVE. You will NOT achieve “Relationship Love” until you achieve SELF-LOVE. You will NOT achieve “Love for God” until you achieve SELF-LOVE. You will NOT achieve “Unconditional Love” until you achieve SELF-LOVE. You will NOT achieve ANY KIND OF LOVE until you achieve…

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[seethepoet]

Now I get to… Part 30.

For a long time I was told that I was depressed. They tried to treat me for depression. They attempted to isolate and at one point institutionalize me because of what they say my depression was doing to me. Part 30. “Now I get to…” I didn’t listen to them. I did what I could to explore and express my feelings. It took years to figure out that I was not depressed. I was sad. I was sad because…

[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 27.

Part 27.Lessons well EARNED. Oh, I didn’t stop writing the “parts”. I spent 30 years trying to have a one-on-one with Hazel. I, foolishly, (with good and sincere intent though) expected a different outcome to our story. Never expected that she’d die and I’d never get the opportunity to look her in the eyes and say the things that I’d planned to say. Especially with her being so close. So…

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[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 26.

Part 26. (This will be the last post, talk, conversation, or anything that I do, being from the victimized, guilted, ashamed, unaccountable, and fearful perspective. This post was difficult to write. Not difficult because of what I say, (I’ve been saying all of this) but difficult because I’m past having to say any of this from the perspective that I have been. I was speaking from the…

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[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 24.

Part 24 I’m not going to substitute one bogeyman for another. Hazel is dead. I know who she was and I know what she did. Not what I felt or what I assume or what I think. I know what I experienced, witnessed, saw, and was exposed to. Part “Not 24/7”.Not all day. Not everyday. Not anymore. There’s a bible scripture, Job 3:25, that reads: 25 For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me,…

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[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 23.

Part 23. I wrote this letter (the attachment at the bottom) to Hazel Ezell in 2013. It was posted on Facebook. I published it online via my website and some other platforms. This was written after I’d found out that Hazel and I had been in the same room/house location on different occasions. I didn’t know that, but Hazel did. Hazel would hide or “disappear” to avoid me seeing her. That is what…

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[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 21.

Part 21. Last night I went to bed, for the first time in almost 30 years, knowing that Hazel Ezell was no longer on this earth. I went to bed knowing that when I woke up this morning I was not going to wake up still full of the want and desire for her to be charged, arrested, and convicted for murdering my Mother. I went to bed not sick from obsessing over wanting “justice”.I went to bed knowing…

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[seethepoet]

Time to move on. Part 19.

Part 19. About 14 years ago I started recording my dad whenever we have conversations. He’s never known that I do it. I don’t make it obvious. I started the recordings for 2 reasons: 1. He’s getting older and me understanding there may come a day that I don’t have him in my life. My dad is important to me. Regardless of our issues and the road we’ve traveled to get to this point, this man means…

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