I have promised SOMEONE that I’d add the swirly wasp dragon as tshirt and I finally got to prep it for that. Though I have no idea who asked me for that anymore, so I just hope they see one of the social media posts. :’D
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary: In which you learn a few new skills; namely, how to check stats and make out with a skeleton.
Notes: I always have a hard time with stats for the UF bros because I can never find any actual information about them anywhere. I saw these numbers for Paps' hp, atk, and def somewhere and decided they were good enough, and I used the lv/exp table thing on the Undertale wiki to figure out what his exp would be for the lv I wanted him to have. So yeah. Enjoy!
Oh! And it's Papyrus day (Friday the 13th) so you get an extra update :)
Sakura sat on the bathroom counter. She lifted both her feet and the flyer she was reading high as Akamaru shook himself. Water and soap bubbles flew around the room.
“Hold still, Akamaru!” Kiba scolded. He tried his best to scrub Akamaru as the once-white dog squirmed around.
“Was he the captain of the kendo club?” asked Sakura.
“Yeah- Gimme your paw, bud- So, I got a call from him last night,” Kiba told her.
“Remind me why you’re washing Akamaru at Sakura’s house and not your own?” Shikamaru interrupted, poking his head in through the doorway.
“Because my mom’s boyfriend is staying over for the weekend and I didn’t want to disturb them. Anyway, Senpai tells me that he and his fiancee are opening up a nightclub,” Kiba tried to go on.
Sakura let out a snort as she circled an ad for eggs on sale. She also circled the ad for sweet potatoes. “More like Oba-san definitely kicked you out,” she muttered. Shikamaru chuckled. Leaning over, he pointed at the limited time sale on carrots on the bottom of the page. Sakura drew another circle around it.
“You jerks aren’t even listening,” grumbled Kiba.
“Yes, we are. So what about the nightclub?” Sakura said, not looking up.
Kiba perked up a little. “Yeah, so Senpai wanted me to do him a favor. Opening weekend is apparently really important for this kind of thing-”
“Wait. How did Akamaru even end up getting this dirty in the first place? You just gave him a bath a few days ago,” Shikamaru demanded, cutting Kiba off mid-sentence.
“He was chasing Old Man Sarutobi’s cat and fell into the rice paddy,” answered Sakura.
Kiba, soap suds coating both his arms, twisted around. He found his two friends smirking at him. Because they were totally doing this on purpose.
“You guys are assholes,” he declared.
Sakura and Shikamaru nodded. “Yeah. We are.”
But sensing that Kiba was close to actually getting mad, they let him finish talking. He turned on the shower head. Once the water was the right temperature, he began rinsing the shampoo off Akamaru. His snowy fur began to emerge from the greyish-brown mud covering his body.
“Hyuuga-senpai asked me to gather some people to come fill up the club on opening night. It’ll make him look good and we’ll get cheap drinks,” Kiba finally got to explain.
Sakura and Shikamaru waited as he finished rinsing Akamaru. Sakura leaned over to hand him a towel. Kiba rubbed Akamaru to get as much water off him as possible. He even patted each paw to minimize the number of wet footsteps the dog would track around Sakura’s house.
Kiba lifted Akamaru out of the tub with both hands. He turned to set Akamaru down on another towel.
“So, are you guys in? It’s tomorrow night,” Kiba asked.
Shikamaru rubbed his chin. “How cheap?”
Kiba rolled his eyes. “I’ll buy your drinks if it matters so much, dude,” he retorted. Shikamaru clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
“I’m in,” Shikamaru declared.
They both looked at Sakura who pulled out a hair dryer. She pointed it at Kiba.
“Only if I don’t have to drive,” she said. When Kiba nodded, she flashed a smile.
“Then I’m in too,” announced Sakura. She switched the dryer on and began running her fingers through Akamaru’s damp coat.
Once Akamaru was dry, Sakura put some hard-boiled eggs in a bowl for him. She settled in at the kitchen table, watching as Kiba poured water into a separate dish and placed it next to the eggs. Kiba pulled his wet t-shirt off and slipped out to the backyard to hang it up.
“We should see if anyone from school wants to come along. The old farts might be happy with Genma-san’s bar, but I’m sure somebody’ll want to come dancing,” suggested Sakura. Cheek in his hand, Shikamaru nodded.
By the time Kiba returned, Shikamaru was already on the phone.
“Moshi moshi? Hatake-sensei? Yeah, you want to come clubbing with us tomorrow? ....What do you mean you’re too old?” Shikamaru said.
Sakura leaned in, hand cupped around her mouth to say, “Boo! You’re no fun, Hatake-sensei!”
She heard Kakashi respond, “I’ll stick to Genma’s.”
Sakura rolled her eyes as she mouthed ‘old fart’. Shikamaru, trying not to laugh, swatted her away from the phone. He ended the call soon after.
Together, they scrolled through Shikamaru’s work contacts. They asked Lee, who agreed right away. Gaara thanked them for thinking of him but declined. The Sarutobi’s also said ‘no’ but only because they didn’t have a babysitter for Mirai.
“A nightclub? In Konoha?” asked Itachi.
“Not exactly. It’s a few towns over. But still, a club in the boonies. Finally. Some civilization!” Kiba stated.
“Lee-sensei is coming with us. It’ll be a lot more fun if you’re there too,” Sakura added.
There was a pause.
“...You said the drinks were cheap? How cheap?” inquired Itachi. Shikamaru chuckled, leaning back in his chair.
Sakura spent the better part of Saturday morning at the gym. She didn’t push herself too hard. There would be no point in going out at night if she was too tired to move. But she worked up a good sweat. Enough that when she biked home, her stomach was growling.
She always had what she called ‘lazy meals’ in the freezer. Whenever salmon was on sale, she cut it up and placed it in individual foil pouches with vegetables and salt and pepper. She had learned it from Ino during her time in Michigan. Admittedly, it tasted much better when Ino made it, but it was a nice break from eternal chicken breast.
While lunch baked in the oven, Sakura took a shower. She exfoliated her face and deep conditioned her hair. She wore a sheet mask as she walked around in her towel. The timer went off and she pulled the hot foil from the oven with quick, wincing movements.
After she ate, Sakura did her nails. She caught up on the last few episodes of her favorite TV show while they dried. Then, she did her laundry, watered the flowers in her garden, and tidied up her bedroom. She even managed to squeeze in a nap before dinner.
When Kiba showed up that night, Sakura answered him with a bowl of yogurt in her left hand. She offered him a spoonful but he wrinkled his nose. His hair was still wet. Shrugging, she headed back into the house. He followed, letting the door close behind him.
“Okay. Option 1,” Kiba said.
Sakura stopped walking. Did a half-turn to glance his outfit over.
“No,” she replied. She sat down on the sofa in the living room. And then she waved him away. Grumbling, he stomped off to go change in her bedroom. A minute later, he returned, wearing a heinous striped shirt.
“Why?” Sakura demanded. He turned before he even made it into the room.
The third try was a marked improvement. Sakura eyed his dark t-shirt and jeans. She gave him a thumbs up.
Shikamaru showed up a little while later, Lee and Itachi with him. Lee went to ring the doorbell. But before his finger could make contact, Shikamaru simply walked in.
“Oiii! Haruno? Inuzuka?” he called, hands in his pockets.
“Nara! Inuzuka’s being useless. Come help me,” Sakura yelled in response.
The three men headed down the hall. There was no sign of life in the living room or the kitchen. But Shikamaru turned a left and easily found Sakura’s room. The door was ajar.
She wore a short black dress with a tie at her waist. Round gold buttons ran down the skirt like buttons on a military jacket. Sakura held up two pairs of shoes. Shikamaru pointed at the shoes on the left.
“Thank you!” she exclaimed, giving Kiba a pointed look. Putting her hand on Kiba’s shoulder, she stepped into the pink wedges. And then she spotted Itachi and Lee lingering in the hallway.
“Oh! Hi!” she greeted them with a little wave.
The drive to Neji’s nightclub was short. But by the time they arrived, the lights were already on. It was in a rather isolated part of the town, which made sense if they were trying to avoid noise complaints for the residents. A bouncer stood at the door, overseeing the short line that had already formed. He let them in once he recognized Kiba.
Inside, there was already music playing. Pink and blue lights swirled around the floor, blinking at intervals. There were some people standing at the bar while others sat in the booths set up against the walls. The dance floor in the middle of the room, however, was largely empty.
A man turned to greet them as they approached the bar.
“Inuzuka!”
“Senpai!”
They shook hands. Kiba took a step back, gesturing to his companions.
“Hyuuga-senpai,” Shikamaru greeted him, also shaking his hand. And then Shikamaru introduce Lee and Itachi, who also shook his hand. But when he turned to introduce Sakura, she was gone. Because she was already hugging Tenten.
“You’re engaged?” Sakura demanded, swaying Tenten back and forth. Tenten laughed. When they drew apart, she held up her left hand. Eyes wide, Sakura scrutinized the diamond. And then she nodded as she patted her old classmate on the arm.
“Told you it was a good move to date Hyuuga-senpai and not Aburame-kun when we were in high school,” Sakura reminded her. They laughed again. Linking her arm through Sakura’s, Tenten pulled her over to join their friends.
“Ah, Haruno-san, there you are,” Neji greeted her. He shook her hand.
“This place looks so great! It’s just like one of the fancy city clubs,” Sakura complimented them.
Hands in his pockets, Shikamaru cast a look around the room. “I dunno. A nightclub that has no one dancing?” he pointed out. Tenten and Neji exchanged a grimace.
“Our hope is that once people get a little drunk, someone will break the ice,” replied Neji.
“When we asked Inuzuka-kun to bring people, we had no idea Harucchi was home. Our club has to do well with an endorsement from an Olympic gold medalist!” Tenten remarked.
This time, the laugh that rippled around their group was a little stilted.
“So, you’re retired now, right? What’re you up to, Harucchi?” asked Tenten.
Sakura smiled even harder. But her eyes shot a panicked look at her friends.
“I’m curious. What kind of licenses did you need to get to open this place, Hyuuga-san?” asked Lee, pulling Neji aside.
“Nevermind Haruno. Don’t you want to know what I’ve been up to?” Kiba chortled, guiding Tenten toward the bar.
Itachi and Shikamaru ushered Sakura away. They found an unoccupied booth in the corner. Shikamaru jerked his head toward the bar.
“It’s on Inuzuka. What’ll you have?” he asked.
“A shot of something. I don’t care,” replied Sakura, rubbing her temples. Shikamaru looked at Itachi.
“A Kirin,” answered Itachi. And as Shikamaru went to get their drinks, Itachi sat across from Sakura.
“So is asking about your former career an automatic disqualification?” he questioned.
Sakura cringed. “Sort of,” she said. And then her shoulders slumped.
“It’s a slippery slope. Because once people ask about the job, they’ll ask about my husband. And then it’ll come out that we’re divorced,” Sakura then explained.
Itachi’s eyebrow rose. “That’s... I think... the first thing I learned about you after your name,” he pointed out. Sakura chuckled.
“That’s true. But here’s the thing about Konoha. They’re super-gossipy with each other, but not to anyone else. Sure, everyone in town knows. They’re not going to tell that to an outsider though.”
Itachi squinted at her. “Are you saying that besides the people living in Konoha, no one knows that you’re divorced?” he demanded. Sakura tilted her head from side to side.
“With a few exceptions, yeah.”
Before Itachi could press for more information, Shikamaru arrived with the drinks. Sakura downed the vodka, grimacing as it burned down her throat. Kiba and Lee joined them a little while longer with another round of shots. And once she had a second drink in her, Sakura began bobbing her head in time to the beat.
When the song transitioned, her eyes lit up.
“Dance with me!” she pleaded. Kiba readily joined her. They had no shame that they were the only ones on the dance floor. Everyone else stood around staring at them. Like they had never seen dancing before. This went on for the first half of the song.
Groaning, Shikamaru let Itachi drag him onto the dance floor too. When Sakura spotted them, she let out a cheer. She took Lee’s outstretched hand and let him twirl her in a circle. And then Kiba cut in to be twirled by Lee too.
Gradually, more people began to flow onto the dance floor. In particular, women seemed drawn to Kiba, who drifted away from their group to flirt. And, unexpectedly, Lee was also popular with the ladies, who found his exuberant dance moves fascinating.
The lights blinked in time to the beat. The music traveled through the soles of their feet, up through their legs and arms. And each time the light flickered, people’s expressions shifted. They were like individual waves in an ever-moving ocean.
After a while, all the noise and heat got to Sakura. She grabbed Shikamaru’s elbow to get his attention.
“I’m going to take a breather,” she told him. She caught the way Shikamaru’s gaze flickered over her shoulder. She turned and found Itachi standing there.
“He looks like he could use a break, too. Take him with you,” Shikamaru said into her ear. Sakura nodded. She touched Itachi’s arm; he followed her off the dance floor. It was too loud to tell if he was behind her. She reached back, hand closing around his forearm. The floor tilting just a little as alcohol made her head fuzzy.
They slipped out through a side exit. The metal door was propped open with a rock. Probably one of the employees had snuck off for a smoke and didn’t want to be locked out. Itachi stopped to make sure that the rock wouldn’t shift. Sakura leaned against the side of the building. The concrete felt nice against her bare arms. The beat of the music was just a faint pulse now.
As they stood side-by-side, gulping down the crisp air, they said nothing. And when their eyes met, all they could do was laugh.
“I wasn’t like this in my early twenties. I’m ready for bed already,” remarked Sakura.
“Wait until you hit thirty. That’s when your body really starts to crumble,” Itachi quipped in return.
There was a long silence. And then Sakura confessed, “I used to love going clubbing. My friends and I never got to hang out together. The only time we could all play was during the big international competitions.”
There was always a day or so after competitions ended and the gala began. She remembered running around with her friends, exploring whichever city was hosting the competition. Trying out local food and alcohol. Asking locals in awkward English for where to go to find the nightlife.
Kisame scolded her and Haku the following day when they showed up with matching dark circles and hangovers.
And as Sakura recalled this, she put on a smile.
“Sorry to be a downer. This is supposed to be a fun night,” she apologized as she looked over at Itachi.
“That’s alright,” he assured her. “You’re not a downer.”
When they headed back into the club a few minutes later, they sat at that corner booth. They didn’t return to the dance floor. And on the drive home, Kiba looked in the rearview mirror. Sakura sat in the middle, Lee’s jacket draped over her bare shoulders. And her eyes were closed, so she missed the look that Kiba exchanged with Shikamaru.
“I hope she had fun,” she heard Shikamaru whisper.
Oh, and because Karly said she wanted to go to Dingo land in April. Totes got someone else to come with me so I don't have to ruin it for another person by not going on rides.
